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Criticize my D2D approach!

Hey this is my first actual post, I thought getting some criticizim would be the best way to start posting here. I sell home alarms door to door. This is my approach to people who do not currently use their alarms(I can tell who does and doesnt), or dont have an alarm in their home. I think this approach gets emotion involved but not enough, thats what I definitiely need to sell these things. I also need to show the customer as to why they can't afford to not have it. Anyways here it is.....

I know you're busy, but before you slam the door in my face, I just want to tell you the two most important things I have to say...I am here to protect your biggest investment and the people you love. Do you have a moment to talk? (yes)

Are you the homeowner here? (yes)

Iím out here because the crime in the area has been increasing. You know, despite people having guns and dogs and being home all the time, because 20 percent of the burglaries happen while people are home, they are still having their private space violated.

Are you aware that criminals are scoping out neighborhoods, and there are hundreds of burglaries happening everyday in Tarrant County? (yes)

Wouldnít you agree that if a criminal decided to scope out your neighborhood that this could happen to you? (yes) *right here I may hand them a crime report of recent burglaries in their neighborhood, and tell them a little bit about it*

I donít want you to have to spend the thousand dollar deductible on your homeowners insurance when someone breaks into your home, or imagine you or one of your loved ones walking in on a criminal. Who do you use for your home telephone service? (//////) What is more important to you a police, fire or medical emergency?

-Telephone service lets me know what I can offer, and the rest lets me know what there hot button is.- - by TLP0357
This approach is a bit heavy handed in my opinion. Never like to scare a customer into action. It does work in some instances but instead of showing the strengths of your product your just focusing on how horrible the world is. You have skipped a couple parts of the sales process that are greatly needed. Most importantly the Introduction and Fact finding.
Try something along the lines of:

"Good morning/afternoon/evening! My name is ______________ with XYZ company, and I am in the area today, because I believe I can help you improve the safety of your home and family. I do know that in these troubled times, with home burglaries on the rise, that alot of people have been worried about how to keep their family and home safe. It's really hot out here, and I don't want you to waste all your A/C, mind if I stand right there? (As you say this wipe your feet, point to area inside real close to the door and just look at it. Assumption Close)

Thank you so much. Before we get started, could I trouble you for a glass of water? (Two things people won't deny someone 90% of the time is water and salt. By getting a glass of water, subconciously, you have become a guest in their house and not a sales person, so they will be more receptive to what you have to say)

Now my company has a couple different strategies, designed to help you as a home owner. Let me explain the different ones, so we can see which one best fits your needs."

Rough Script, but you get the idea. Not trying to Shock and Awe so much. - by jrboyd
JR, your post is surprising considering you usually post from your own experience which is retail car sales. Where did you draw that from? The member is talking about door to door sales which is a lost art, but an art nonetheless.

NOW--to TLP0357. First, you can't make a presentation at the door and be effective. What you CAN do is start a conversation led by a few questions, and with the OBJECTIVE of getting permission to talk to them about your service (be invited in).

TWO important tips! ALWAYS take a step BACK as the person opens the door---NO exceptions. NEVER step for