Is there anything wrong with this opening?
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"This is David speaking with Agent Advantage and I saw some of your listings. Can you hear me ok? Great, well look I’m helping agents’ in your area close on an extra 5-6 leads a month. The reason I'm calling you is to find out if you would be interested in seeing a way to sell more homes. (pause) Well it takes just a couple minutes in front of a computer to show you how, would you like to see it now, or should we set-up a time that’s more convenient?"
At the pause I'm getting 90% of agents saying not interested and of course thats typical and I do my best to keep them on the phone a little longer. My question is what's wrong with the opening, what could I change to make it better? I mean it states who I am, who I'm with, what I do, gets straight to the point and I state a benefit that says I can help him/her sell more homes. So what's the deal? Does it sound to salesman-like? -DavidC89