by Marc Hogan
www.persuasion-skills.co.uk
Our beliefs are a very powerful force on our behaviour.
I’m sure you like me, have seen people, who really believe that they can do something, and they do it. Conversely you probably know people who believe something is impossible, and no amount of effort will convince them otherwise.
Beliefs like, “that will never work”, “I’m stupid”, “they’ll never go out with me” can really limited person from taking full advantage of their natural resources.
Of course not all beliefs limits us, there are beliefs that protect us:
“I believe a man can’t fly!”
However, luckily the Wright brothers didn’t have the same belief!
Even the beliefs that others have about us can affect us.
This was demonstrated by the following study. The intelligence of a group of children was tested. Those who had average intelligence were then split at random into two equal groups.
Group A was assigned to a teacher who was told that the children were slow learners.
Group B was assigned to a teacher who was told that the children were of above average intelligence.
1 year later the two groups were retested for intelligence.
The majority of Group B, who had been arbitrarily labelled as gifted, scored higher than they had previously, while the majority of Group A, labelled slow, scored lower.
Did the teachers’ beliefs about their students affect their ability to learn?
In medical studies you see many examples of the Placebo Effect. Participants are divided into two groups, those who will take the real drug, and those who will take a placebo. Neither party knows which they are taking. Results of many studies show that people start to experience improvements in their disease whilst taking a placebo.
Because they believe that the placebo is in fact a drug which helps their disease, their beliefs start to affect the disease and their symptoms start to improve!
Our beliefs about ourselves and what is possible in the world around us greatly impact our day-to-day effectiveness. All of us have beliefs that serve us as resources as well as beliefs that limit us.
So why is Persuasions Skills interested in this?
How many of us have clients, customers, friends, loved ones who have certain beliefs/perceptions that are unhelpful to the? If we could start to make them think about these beliefs and perceptions in a different way, then we would be able to help them move forward in their life.
One of the key learnings in NLP is reframing.
Reframing literally means to put new or different frame around an image or experience. Psychologically to reframe something means to transform its meaning by putting it into a different framework or context than previously perceived.
Obviously one of the ways that an experience or belief can be transformed is through the use of language.
Sleight of Mouth patterns come from the study of how language has been and can be used to make an impact on people’s lives and emotions.
Many sleight of mouth patterns were formulated as a result of modelling the language patterns of people such as Socrates, Karl Marx, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Hitler and Milton Erickson.
Sleight of Mouth patterns are made up of verbal categories and distinctions by which key beliefs can be established, shifted or transformed through language. These patterns provided a powerful tool for persuasion and conversational beliefs change. - Encyclopedia of NLP
Persuasion Skills Example
Let us look at the different ways we can begin to alter people’s perceptions and beliefs:
There are 15 patterns that can be used to begin to alter perceptions.
Where appropriate I’ve also included some explanations on why you would use this pattern
Remember depending on the person, some patterns will be more effective than others!
I have used these patterns with people to increase sales, to motivate people, to help clients overcome fears, and more importantly to better understand people’s needs.
Always ensure you are in Rapport, the idea is to challenge gently, not annoy!
The following objection / belief is often mentioned to me by participants before they attend a Persuasion Skills seminar:
“Going on a Persuasion Skills course may not meet my needs”
I will now use this to illustrate how the sleight of mouth patterns can be used to effectively begin to change people’s perceptions and attitudes for the better.
Firstly, we must break the statement into smaller components:
X = Going on a persuasion skills course
Y = May not meet my needs
Apply to X
“Have you gone on a great course before?”
Here we begin to get an idea of what a great course means to them.
If they have gone on great course, we could elicit why it was great, and anchor it to our course.
Apply to Y
“What if it did meet your needs?”
We could then ask, what they could achieve – the benefits – and show them testimonials and examples of other people who went on the course and achieved similar results.
Counter Example
“Is it possible to go on any courses that have exactly met your needs?”
Here we could begin to find out if there are courses that have met some of their needs. And then link those good feelings and criteria to Persuasion Skills
Meta Frame
“Isn’t it actually about learning valuable skills which can be applied in the real world and give you the results you need”
Helping you to think bigger, think about the results.
Intent
“You’re saying that because you want to make the right decision”
Gain agreement, “and I want to help you make the right decision… , can you give me an example of a course and it was the right decision…”
Then anchor these good decisions to Persuasion Skills.
Consequence
“What would happen if you never took a risk and tried something new”
Another Cause
“Maybe it’s not that other courses haven't met your needs but it’s simply that you haven't been shown how to apply the theory”
Then show them how Persuasion Skills is designed to be applied in real world situations.
Change Context (Y)
“Can you think of where this would meet your needs?”
Redefine Y
“Its not that it may not meet all your needs, it’s that it may meet only some of your most important needs.”
Elicit what their most important needs are, and show them how Persuasion Skills will meet them.
Reality
“How do you know for sure?”
Challenging their perception that it will not meet their needs - finding doubt.
Then by providing more information we would erase that doubt.
Universal Qualifier
“Going on a course has never met any of your needs?”
Chunk Down
“Tell me how specifically going on a course may not meet your needs.”
Once we know what they don’t want we can ensure that we link what they do want to Persuasion Skills and therefore you will find it easier to buy.
Another Outcome
“Maybe it’s not just about meeting your present needs, it’s about discovering other ways to become more flexible?”
Change Context (X)
“When or under what circumstances is it useful to try new courses?”
If I know when, or under what circumstances it’s useful to try new course, I can make sure that I deliver the criteria necessary for them to choose the course.
Hierarchy of needs
“What's most important to you? Going on a course and taking the risk to really improve your outcomes or is it saving your money and never really knowing.”
As you can see, these powerful patterns can be very useful in beginning to overcome doubts or beliefs that hold people back. Obviously this is very useful in a variety of contexts, whether business or personal.
As I have said, I have used these patterns with people to increase sales, to motivate them, to help clients overcome fears, and more importantly to better understand people’s needs.
Because I believe that if you truly understand someone’s needs, you can really ensure that you meet those needs, making happier clients/customers/friends.
Changing People’s Minds: Transforming Beliefs and Perceptions Using NLP