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NLP Vs Persuasion Skills - Creating Rapport & Communication Excellence Part 1
by Marc Hogan
www.persuasion-skills.co.uk I’m sure you can recall a time when you were in rapt conversation with someone… You listen intently to all they have to say and find yourself agreeing with them and even finding that you want the same things and have similar views. Time disappears as you concentrate on what each other has to say. Perhaps you find yourself leaning closer in, or even smiling as you realise that you have a similar sense of humour. The conversation flows smoothly and easily. You both feel comfortable and enjoy each other’s company… Or perhaps you can remember a time when you’ve seen two people in a Restaurant? Communication flows easily, they’re smiling, nodding in agreement, perhaps you’ve even noticed that they are moving in similar ways matching each other's posture and gestures. This is a naturally occurring process, happening all around you all the time and is known as rapport. How much more persuasive would you be if can create deep levels of rapport in almost any situation? Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) has spent considerable time looking at this phenomenon and tried to model a process which can help people create rapport quickly and easily. Rapport occurs when you like someone else and someone else likes you! Rapport is a critical ingredient in the process of persuasion! The Persuasion Skills Model Once you know the tools to gain rapport you will be able to: 1. Establish a connection with someone else quickly and easily. 2. You will feel comfortable talking to them. 3. They feel comfortable talking to you. 4. You start to build trust. 5. You can sense the states that they are in through a subliminal connection. 6. You can covertly verify that you have rapport 7. You can influence their states nonverbally by shifting your state. 8. You can begin the process of persuasion 9. Because you are in tune with this person you retain flexibility of response throughout the conversation. The NLP Model of Rapport In Nuero Linguistic Programming (NLP) the most well known techniques for consciously gaining Rapport are to consciously Mirror and Match someone’s posture. This technique though useful is rather old hat. To be successful you must not be obvious. I’m sure you’ve seen someone attempt this technique and it’s a little like “monkey see, monkey do” The key to the success of this technique is to be elegant You learn how to do this on “The Foundation” Persuasion Skills Seminar. Open your Eyes
It means you can perceive a lot more about people than you thought! Improving your Peripheral Perception. In Huna (Hawaiian Religion) they call this Hakalau. It is also used in Silva Mind Method, Meditation, Hypnosis and NLP. Stare at a spot on the wall and expand your vision outwards and the upwards how much of the room can you see? People are giving you information every second you are with them, even from a distance. I can teach you how to get an idea of how someone’s • Sitting • Standing • The position of their hands • Their breathing rate More importantly you can get an idea from their physiology what actual emotional state they are in! Without even looking at them directly! Matching Breathing Try this: Pick someone on the train or bus and using your peripheral vision start to notice the rhythm of their breathing, begin to notice the natural rise and fall of their clothes or their shoulders and allow yourself to fall into the same breathing pattern. The Persuasion Skills Power Tip 1 If you’re finding it difficult to match the subjects breathing because it’s much slower/ faster than yours, start by matching their every second or third breath by inhaling slightly more on that particular beat. The Persuasion Skills Power Tip 2 If someone approaches me and I haven’t had a chance to match their breathing I’ll take in a slightly deeper breath just as I say hello. I have found that this tends to lead the person into my breathing pattern! Next edition of the newsletter we’ll cover more rapport techniques, but I want you to go out and experiment, matching breathing is very simple – and very covert. |
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