Home > Prospecting > I have the fear and i dont know why???

I have the fear and i dont know why???

Hi Guys

I have been in sales for over 10 years and i am still here because i am good at it/was good at it?!

I started a new role about a year ago amidst the recession and over the year i have progressively gained a fear of picking up the phone... i even noticed last week that i kept emailing EXISTING clients and not phoning them; which i have rectified immediately.

The thing is I have NO fear with face to face meetings; but to get those meetings i need to pick up the phone and have the discussion with them.

I do think it’s a fear of rejection; and normally i have a little button in my brain that i can flick and that’s it back to normal.

I am thinking that it’s because what i am selling perhaps I don’t have belief in it; or belief that people want to buy it?

My previous success has been because i had something people NEEDED to know and respected me for imparting my knowledge; whereas here it’s not that they need it but they SHOULD have it for best business practise.

Also all previous roles have been targeted monthly so you could measure your progress each month and have a nice pay slip at the end of it; where as now its 6 monthly and if you get behind; Its a huge catch up and a HUGE de-motivating factor.

I really don’t know what to do; i always self analyse so if i can do some self therapy here and try to overcome this i hope to see results. - by Rebecca81
I dont think I can help, I have the same fear... my fear stems from inexperience with the product AND cold calling.

I do know that you have to believe in your product; believe in your company... And believe in the most important person in the world... You.

Getting past the fear of rejection is not too hard... I mean you didnt have their business yesterday... and you wont have it tomorrow, your life didnt change any. Your life is exactally the same, and remember, they are not rejecting you... only your product or service.

Beyond that, I cant offer anymore to you... looking to get over this anxiety myself. - by Kapture1
Here's my two cents:
  1. Fear is often a mental state brought about by the thoughts (i.e.; mental movies, self-talk, etc.) occupying our mind at the time.
  2. Our mental state influences (available and/or favorable) the options in our immediate awareness.
  3. The choices we make and the supporting behaviors/actions we take (act/don't act, go left/go right, etc.) bring us that much closer or farther from a given outcome.
... if we entertain fearful thoughts we can expect to find ourselves in a fearful mental state which is rarely the most resourceful (i.e.; available options) mental state for optimal decisions often resulting in choices and behaviors that take us in the opposite direction of our desired outcome(s).

Ideally, it's in our best interest to first identify and then harness the mental state most conducive to success when pursuing our desired outcome. - by Jeff Blackwell
fear of picking up the phone...emailing EXISTING clients and not phoning them...i need to pick up the phone and have the discussion with them.
Rebecca...I certainly have had the same fear. I have been initiating my contact with the potential client with either a personal or business oriented physical greeting card - one I can customize with my photo etc. When I feel that "fear" coming about calling - I convince myself I need to call just to verify they received the card and then I'm "into" the conversation. Somehow an initial card makes the call less "cold".

- by Nexus6
Question: What is your employer paying you to do? - by Gary A Boye
At one point or another, every sales professional is faced with this fear.

My advice is to try to focus on the small leads while you break through this glass ceiling.

You need to call, call, call. When you are doing doing that, you need to call some more. Through repitition you can build up your comfort level.

I used to play something called "arlene's game". Basically I would give my self a point for each time someone gives me a "No" or a "Yes". Once I reached 50 "NO" results I would win the game. As the days went on I would find it harder and harder to win the game.

Once you get used to the cold calling you can them move up to the big leads. If you lose a small lead, nothing is lost...

Above all else, relax and have some fun with it. - by salesfist

Your question will never, ever be answered correctly in a few short replies here. Seek advice from a sales coach who can work with you 1 to 1 or read this book on http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Sales-Call-Reluctance-Earning/dp/0935907122 cold call reluctance. Its the best I have ever read to laser target this subject. It deals with positive self talk and mental reprogramming - amongst many other things.

Very often people seek out skills training to overcome this when the reality is, it requires something more in-depth. It may come down to your beleifs, your values and even your overall identity as a salesperson.

Read the book and if you have any concerns then drop me a line via my website and i will see what i can do to help.


Peter - by peter-odonoghue
The feeling of rejection can be eliminated in the sales environment once you know what primarily motivates you in life--and its never money. At best money is a marker of achievement which by the way, I think you have handled quit nicely.

The "fear of rejection" is particular to you and you alone. It is a natural psychological reaction to the real fear behind rejection which is the fear of identity loss.

The foundation of Identity consists of clustered beliefs that must be sustained at all costs for you to retain the sense of self over time.

In one sentence you mentioned "knowledge" twice. That was not an accident or coincidence. For you, knowledge demands respect and if others do not believe your knowledge is worth buying, in your mind, they have just said: you know nothing that demands my respect. And worse, you are therefore an unworthy individual.

The feeling of unworthiness is tethered to rejection, shame and guilt for all of us. For you, "knowledge" and the dynamics of knowing and not knowing provides your criteria for further beliefs about you and others. Many in the consulting business for example, are driven by "empowerment."
For them, when a clients says "no" they are saying; you are weak and powerless. We all have our buzz word. To validate this, begin exploring what makes you angry or frustrated. Reduce the chain of reasons down to where it cannot be reduced any longer. I promise you a variation of "knowledge" will be waiting for you.

That is, you find yourself upset when others should have known, ought to have known, knew they abused their authority, are closed to gaining new knowledge, knew how I felt about the issue and still ignored that knowledge etc.

Once you validate 'knowledge" as a primary motivator, eliminating rejection will be easy. If you require more information on how to apply this discovery just contact me any time. - by John Voris
Weekly Updates!
Questions and Answers about Selling
Subscribe to our mailing list to get threads and posts sent to your email address weekly - Free of Charge.