Hi, _______. This is Jon (ALWAYS GIVE FIRST AND LAST NAME) from *company name*. We work with ( NEVER USE "WE WORK WITH" REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY PEOPLE SAY YOU SHOULD.) "organizations like yourself (NOBODY IS LIKE THEMSELF. DON'T IMPLY OTHERWISE.) to simply help manage your energy budgets. (AGAIN, DROP THE WORD "HELP". AND NOBODY INDICATED THAT THEY NEED SOMEBODY ELSE TO MANAGE ANYTHING)
We offer a program that’s been proven to protect your natural gas rates from market volatility and eliminate the need to redo an energy budget every time the variable rates change. (PUT THAT ENTIRE THOUGHT INTO PLAIN LANGUAGE)
We have done this with *company #1*, *company #2*, as well as *company #3*, among many others. I’d like (THEY DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WOULD "LIKE")to have one of our consultants sit down ("MEET WITH YOU"...not "SIT DOWN") with you briefly (ELIMINATE BRIEFLY) and allow you to see ("..SHOW YOU WHAT WE DO" is better.)for yourself whether our service would be of interest to you ("IS SOMETHING YOU WANT"--NOT "WOULD BE OF INTEREST TO YOU").
Would _______ afternoon or ________ morning be satisfactory for you?