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B2C Cold calling parents to sell educational software

Hello, first before anything I'd really like to thank the members here who've helped me tremendously. I've mostly just been lurking and trying to absorb all the information on this forum. I'd like to especially thank helisell and Ace Coldiron for their contributions.

I used to do B2B outbound telemarketing sales for an SEO (search engine optimization) company. In 2008 I started my own business and in 2009 quit my sales job and focused 100% on my venture. I was an online retail merchant and got to the point of grossing nearly $15000 per month selling children's formal wear. In November of 2010 my merchant processor Paypal froze my account and assets for reasons that they couldn't even explain to me specifically. Now being only 21, having very little job experience and no degree. I'm back in sales and looking for all the help I can get. I was a student of Brian Tracy mostly, read a lot of his books back in 2008, unfortunately I've forgotten many sales principles and I'd like to get back into the game.

I'm very interested on what you feel about my script and if there are any improvements I'm all ears. I've taken A LOT of what I've learned in this forum and put it into this script. This is for educational software, we are calling parents with children from grades 1-8:

Hello, I need to speak with a Mr./Mrs. ______, please. Hi, this is ______ we're an educational learning center and, I've been asked to call you to find out if you'd be interested in providing a tool for your student to improve their grades and their score on the upcoming state exams. (this is where I lose most prospects)
(if they ask about company...I'm calling from the _____ Children's Learning Center we consult parents who are interested in making sure their children are getting the best possible education for their success.)

If I can ask you a few questions I can tell you more about our program and find out if it will be a right fit for you and your student...Would that be OK?
- What grade is your child currently in?
- Are there any areas where you'd like to see improvement like English or Math? Or is your student already above average?

That's exactly why we're calling

Struggling or Average: Mr./Mrs. ______ our program was designed to specifically get caught up and surpass other students in their grade level and most importantly get those better grades you're looking for.

Above Average or Straight-A: Our Academic Acceleration program was designed specifically for the above average student like your child, to maintain those high grades and keep their comprehension at a high level, but with less study time.

- What have you invested in material, besides school? (if something, what were the results?)
- Does he/she enjoy learning and studying or does he/she have a hard time concentrating? (tell me more about that...)

We use the latest in fun and interactive multi-sensory learning techniques so the students have such a good time using it they don't even realize they're learning. The course is based on 70 years of the finest academic research. Everything is on a CD-ROM format for the home computer, and it covers reading, spelling, vocabulary and math. Studies show our program provides faster thinking for your child, better communication, confidence and IQ. Are you with me so far?

The first thing we do Mr./Mrs. _____ is send out the recommended program for 30 days, that way you and your student can use it right there on your home computer. And with just 2 to 3 twenty minute sessions per week, we'll add up to 5,000 words to their vocabulary bank and sharpen their math skills up to Algebra. We also include our Progressive Reader program which will double or triple their reading speed and comprehension, so they'll get their homework done in half the time. I really want to emphasize on the Progressive Reader it's phenomenal, used properly it's an asset your son/daughter can use for the rest of their lives. This whole program is so effective we guarantee to raise your students grade in English by at least one letter grade, if they don't already have an A.

Close of Presentation
We give you a full 30 days to use it at home before making a final decision. You qualify for the student discount so it's only $169.80 for the entire program. And if for any reason you decide it's not a perfect fit all we ask is that you give us a call on our 800 number within 30 days to get a refund.

Now, on the basis of what we've covered and discussed here, would you like to go ahead?

Great, now if you can grab a pen and a piece of paper, I'm going to give you a confirmation number which will act as your receipt until the box arrives. And we authorize the program out for the 30 day evaluation on any of the 4 standard cards, what works better for you credit or debit?

The opening of the script is where I'm having the most trouble, although I've only been on the phones for a day, it's just not working. Please advise on what I can do to improve the opening to move on to the next stage of the sales process. Also if there are any better questions I may be able to ask to engage my prospect more efficiently thank you. - by Sway~
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