fear of meeting new prospects

I merely disgaree that an ice break should be considered as subterfuge. It seems from your response that you view an ice break as a useless time waste, or counter productive.

I feel that often it is beneficial, not just to make the salesperson comfortable, but to put the client at ease. By doing so we can often ensure less resistance throughout the sales process.

Of course if done incorrectly or in amateurish, then of course it is see through and in such instance, perhaps detrimental.

But im sure most would agree that in any sales process, it makes good sense to talk about other things of seperate topics.

Sales people need to appear personable and friendly at some point!

If the sales person has to make him or herself comfortable with what you call an ice breaker there's a root problem that person has that will limit success - look, anyone can call earning $30,000 or $100,000 a year success - that's a personal thing. BUT any kind of sustained success is the result of confidence and clear communication ice breakers have nothing to do with nor will they correct the root problem.

Likewise, I don't trust potential clients who need my small talk - what you call ice breakers, to feel comfortable. There's something that's going to be dysfunctional about that working both ways.

I want to get right into the heart of what someone is looking for and wants - last night I was introduced to someone who was understood to want what I sell. I introduced myself and told a little about myself - it wasn't ice breaking it was letting someone know that I am experienced and it was to the point of what I do and sell, not ice breaking small talk. Then I went right into questions concerning what this person wants and why and whether I can deliver it and deeper questions about pain and discomfort and life and death.

That's what produces mutual respect and comfort - these other things create unease and mistrust at worse and at best small and limiting sales success.

The best of the best to everyone.

...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MitchM

ice breaking small talk is actually counter to good sales practices...

Okay, people ... can do those tricky little things things

Mike

In my opinion, making conversation with prospects is a good thing (I'm not talking about making too much conversation - that's a different issue). I don't think it's a "tricky little thing."

When you first meet a blind date, you chat the other person up; When you meet your daughter's boyfriend, you make conversation; When you sit down at a job interview, you make small talk. When you're a manager, you chit-chat with your employees. When you meet your college roomate, you converse.
How did we get to a place in our thinking that taking steps to create trust and rapport with our prospect (as another human being) is a bad thing, or as Mike puts it, a "tricky little thing"? I don't get that.

If anyone feels good doing ice breaking and it produces warm fuzzies and great success good for that person. I don't do that and am successful without it and find it distracting and counter to the success I want.

Of course you make conversation unless you do it in mime which I don't. When it gets to what I have and someone wants it's clear and direct and to the point. That's what produces respect and a good relationship.

I just leased a car and the salesman tried to break the ice and make small talk and in a few minutes I let him know I didn't need or want that so he smartly sobored up and got to the point. My time and his should be too valuable for ice breaking small talk and likewise, our confidence shouldn't require it either.

Mike

Quote:

Originally Posted by MitchM

If anyone feels good doing ice breaking and it produces warm fuzzies and great success good for that person. I don't do that and am successful without it and find it distracting and counter to the success I want.

I just leased a car and the salesman tried to break the ice and make small talk and in a few minutes I let him know I didn't need or want that so he smartly sobored up and got to the point. My time and his should be too valuable for ice breaking small talk.

Hi MitchM,
A quick review of your posts tells me that you are a "Thinker-Judger" in Myers-Brings Personality Type speak. (If anyone is interested in this concept, there are tons of books and resources about the Myer-Briggs Type Inventory). What does this mean?

1. As a "Thinker", you make decisions in a detached, logical manner (versus "Feelers" who make decisions using subjective values like harmony, connection, etc.), and
2. As a "Judger", you long for closure (as opposed to "Perceivers", who prefer the journey towards closure more than closure itself).

So, MitchM, if I were to sell to you, I would quickly ascertain that you were a "Thinker-Judger", and then I would deal with you in a manner that would be highly likely to resonate with you, the "Thinker-Judger" prospect.

But the reality is that most people are not Thinker-Judgers like you, MitchM.

Only 40% of females are "Thinkers" and only 60% of males are Thinkers. So if my prospect is a "feeler", I have to completely change my approach so that my prospect doesn't get frustrated and shut down (just as you almost got frustrated with your car lease salesperson). "Small talk" is what a "feeler" needs to feel comfortable with a salesperson, because they're looking for an emotional connection with the salesperson, unlike a "Thinker" who wants facts and figures.

Only 50% of people are "judgers". The other 50% are "perceivers."Perceivers prefer flexible, spontaneous, adaptive behaviors. Perceivers change their minds often, they like to explore options, they are in a constant state of discovery about a situation. Perceivers take longer to make a purchase decision than judgers do.

So, if I was to sell to a perceiver, I would be prepared to spend a lot more time with them. And "ice breaking" or "chit-chat" would help do that.

I have no doubt that you, MitchM, are a very successful salesperson. But I just wonder if your success might not be even more explosive if you would sell to the prospect's personality type rather than your own personality type. There's no question that the vast majority of people out there are not "thinker-judgers" like you, and they have a preference to be sold in a different manner than you yourself prefer to be sold to. Even though you get offended by small talk, the vast majority of prospects need it.

The best to you!

I can appreciate the analysis though I don't quite fit into that box of thinker/judger - I am familiar with the MB inventory you mention. Contrary to your description of me I'm very sensitive to the other person and what the other person needs and wants - I'd describe myself more along the lines of the movements of someone doing ba gua which you'll have to look up if you don't know it.

Blending is one of the most important aspects of what I do and it's not contrary to clear and direct communications as one may believe from the outside.

I'm not offended by small talk or ice breaking - I just don't want to use my time doing it, Skip. What I look for in a conversation is big talk - an immediate relationship of mutual engagement and honesty - and in all actuality I'm one of the most spontanious and flexible people you'd ever know if you knew me.

I don't fit those descriptions easily and I don't think most people do either - I could be wrong about that. Mostly I work from a state of passion and emotion though behind the scenes there's some rational and pragmatic thought - whatever that is anyway.

Keep the field of inquiry free and clear and open for discovery and curiosity if the other person is doing the same and willing to engage.

The best of the best to you.

MitchM

MitchM and everyone, I appreciate that we can have meaningful dialogue about these various selling issues in this forum.

Skip

Quote:

Originally Posted by adammead26

wrote, in part:
I believe that done in the right way an icebreak is essential. It the opportunity to personable and initiate a conversation which will, done the right way lead to establishing a common ground with prospective client.

If there was ice to break, I would agree that you need an icebreaker.

When a prospect agrees to meet with you to determine whether or not to buy from you, there is no ice to break.

There are two things that almost all prospects will discuss freely.
1. An agenda for deciding whether to do business with each other.
2. The needs they want to satisfy.

It is better to start with number 1.

"If there was ice to break, I would agree that you need an icebreaker. " -- JW

It took me time to see the humor in Mr. Werth who I only know from the Internet and a little information I've read and from reading - no, learning and learning what he says in his book.

I had heard things similar to what was just posted about only meeting with people who want what I have to offer - but it didn't fully sink into my behavior and belief. WHehn Mr. Werth began posting these things they half rang a bell in my head and half caused me frustration.

Then getting into a few conversations in threads the frustration grew because Mr. Werth doesn't digress and standing his own ground caused me to question myself in a way that produced discomfort.

BUT I want to improve - I wanted to then - and I still do. I figure at 62 maybe I have four decades to improve as I do no like to think of myself not being here in less time than that.

So I began going over his words and through his book putting it to practice the best I could and still do. For me it's life and death - pleasure and pain - and I don't mean that in any emotional or dramatic way. It's the fact of living and every decision has those elements in it - so I take my time and the time of everyone I might do business with respectfully and to the point.

I went to a chamber meeting last week my motive being free food and an aikido demonstration BUT I kept a clear and attentive mind. I heard small talk and ice breakers and realized once again why it doesn't interest me, why it's counter productive, and why I don't have time for it.

I'm still improving and I haven't come close to what I intend to accomplish in my business life but as haltingly and toddling along as I've been like most people nothing has improved me more than what Mr. Werth has to say.

MitchM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David Bowen

It is not about setting small goals. It's about taking big goals and dividing them into smaller short-term goals.

I hadn't quite looked at it that way before but yes, i think thats a good way to go about things. 4 x 15 minute stints of cold calling is much more appealing than an hour, although it's actually the same result. [/quote]

That definitely sounds more appealing. However, it is inefficient and ineffective.

Statistically, the most efficient and effective time period for telephone prospecting is 3� hours, which includes two 15 minute breaks. Most people get their best results in the third hour.

For a free copy of our High Probability Prospecting Activity Record form, send an email to main@highprobsell.com with the words "HPP Activity Record" in the subject line.

fear of meeting new prospects

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