fear of meeting new prospects

I was interesting in knowing how to overcome a fear I have of meeting new prospects. Outside of work I'm not shy by any means but sometimes when I'm meeting with a new prospect I can barely get the words out. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. -dwalker

Tell me exactly what the words are that you can "barely get out". Then please tell me where you got those words from.

And when you're "not shy by any means", where do the words you use come from--the ones that are easy to get out? -Gary Boye

Maybe you have a fear of rejection or some type of performance anxiety. Here is a question you might ask yourself: “What am I really afraid of?” -AZBroker

AZ could be right. You might be assigning "too much" importance to the call. ;) -SalesGuy

[quote=dwalker]Outside of work I'm not shy by any means but sometimes when I'm meeting with a new prospect I can barely get the words out.[quote]I too have suffered from this except the opposite. I find no difficulty in speaking to buyers but when alone with a new lady I freeze up like an icecube. I hope your answer will be my answer too. -Giuseppe

Hi,
I also feel some trepidation when first meeting with a new prospect. You never know if the new prospect is friendly, hostile, berating or if they are accepting, open and attentive. It really helps me if I am well prepared for the call and have all the information that will be needed (know your product/service). Prior to the visit, I ask the prospect what their area of focus or interest is and try to tailor the visit to that aspect. I also look up the prospects company on the internet and get a better idea for unanticipated needs (and potential objections!) may be.

I try to assume that all prospects are interested and friendly. It helps going into the meeting! -celevers@yahoo.com

I like the honest answers posted on this thread so far - people who hide their fear are not people I can trust to be honest in other areas which is important for me.

Gary offers a self-analysis or probing which has to come first - everything else is dressing or avoidance or missing the important issue which is internal and self-confronting.

The kind of precision Gary asks for can open the door to understanding more clearly and quickly than rubbing balm on the pain.

Going from comfort to discomfort - acting with didcomfort sometimes but still acting - is important to understand. -MitchM

Excellent question. You might follow it up with, "Why am I afraid of this?" -SalesCoach

[quote=Giuseppe][quote=dwalker]Outside of work I'm not shy by any means but sometimes when I'm meeting with a new prospect I can barely get the words out. Meeting a prospect, a customer, a new lady, man, or any other human being can be easy, rewarding and pleasurable if you have the skills to talk about them – not about you, your product or your company. That does not mean building “rapport,” doing a needs analysis, or trying to find their pain.

-JacquesWerth

[quote=JacquesWerth][quote=Giuseppe] I'm improving in this and a lot has to do with realizing all my life I've had good conversations with people when I didn't have anything at stake, when I wasn't trying to get them to do anything and I just listened and engaged. But somehow that was lost when I started doing what I do and I was suddenly selling as in building rapport, doing a needs analysis, and trying to find their pain - what Jacques just posted.

It isn't that these things aren't important but that they happen in the course of a comfortable conversation where the purpose is to have a "rewarding and pleasurable" conversation.

Jacques mentions having the skills for that and I believe in selling they come from two sources. One source is the realization that it is a conversation to qualify and disqualify as well as get to know and the other is actual inquiry skills which begin with listening skills.

I could site some sources here but everyone feels they have resources and they abound.

Talking about them and listening to them comes first. -MitchM

Yes, this is what I've been told. What am I afraid of? I'm afraid that if I don't start making sales I'm going to go broke. One of the other guys says to act like you don't care but I do. -dwalker

D,

I think some of this issue will resolve itself with time. The more new prospects you meet, the more comfortable you will feel.

Keep in mind, too, that people love to talk about themselves. If you're having trouble getting started, a good approach might be to say something like "Tell me a bit about your position here at ProspectCompany".

That should be good for a few minutes of the other person doing the talking, and you may get more comfortable as time goes on. Try to really concentrate on what they're saying, and ask some follow-up questions if you can. If nothing else, when they wind down, you could say "Sounds like you've really accomplished a lot - how long have you been with ProspectCompany". then maybe "how have you been handling your printing needs? (or whatever you are there to talk about)

I think what Gary said about thinking about where you get stuck is very pertinent. If it's at the beginning, think of some good questions to get the prospect talking. That's what you want to do at first, anyway.
If it's when you're trying to relate your product/service to their needs, memorize a pitch. That sounds silly, but you'll find that once you've memorized it, it will be much easier to draw upon, even if you're nervous.

Personally, I always find the walk from the lobby to the prospect's office a time when there can be deadly silence. So, I'll always say something like "These are great offices - how long have you been here?"

You'll find your own little helpers as you go.

Hope this helps some.

Kathleen

PS - for those of you trying to talk to a woman, having some questions to get them talking is also a good idea. But, try to be unique. Tell me about yourself is way too bland, and broad. Try something normal, like you might ask a friend - things like: So, how was your day? or, did you get stuck behind the accident on I-285 this morning? can start an entire discussion if you follow up with questions and your own anecdotes related to what the other person is telling you. Just one opinon... -KSA-Mktg

Does it get better after the conversation begins or do you experience this fear throughout the entire sales call? -Agent Smith

While this seems stupidly obvious, don't let your fears undermine your productivity. GET OUR THERE AND DO IT. You will be surprised to find that it will get easier. If you find excuses to avoid these unconfortable situations, they will forever be uncomfortable and you will not succeed and eventually give up.

I used to sing at church. Every once and a while I would be asked to sing a solo, but even though I was one of the strongest singers in the group, because I sang solos so infrequently, I would be STRICKEN with fear just before my song (sweating profusely and physically trembling). My solo would be very much below my ability.

One week the lead singer was sick and I was thrown in to fill her spot on a moments notice, leading every song on the front mic. I was terrified, but didn't even have time to think about it. By the end of that mass, I was ready to try out for American Idol (well...maybe not, but you get the point).

Then I resumed my usual spot in the back row. The next time I was asked to sing a solo (about a month later), guess what happened? I was delighted, but just before my song I became terrified and wanted to run from the building!

The lesson: You can only overcome your fear by submersing yourself in it and you cannot get lazy or cocky about it because it wil be back on you faster than Homer Simpson on a box of donuts! -RainMaker

In my business I've been in contact with hundreds of people gripped by fear and only a few have overcome their fear or ignored their fear and moved ahead. The only common denominator I can see is an absolute disgust with the status quo taken so personally that if not overcome it becomes a life long blemish on one's self-esteem - the other motivator is absolute necessity to perform to achieve some worthy goal: position, money, etc. -MitchM

Yes, Yes, Yes! I like your story and your solution. Thank you -Thank you - Thank You! :) -dwalker

On a closing note, I have not sung (in public) in 3.5 years :( but...I benefitted tremendously, myself, from re-canting this story because I have not been out in the field much lately, and I am finding myself facing call reluctance.

I guess I was talking to myself as much as to you. :) -RainMaker

Thank you. That will be my solution too. I also like your choice of names- call reluctance. -Giuseppe

This final paragraph is the real thing for me.Be positive, and you'll get the responds you wish to have. Of course be prepared for a let down. But never take it too personal. -Kwame

RainMaker, I enjoyed your illustration. Excellent example! :) -SalesCoach

Thanks. So painfully true :rolleyes:. For now I am focused on my call reluctance, but someday I plan to face that microphone again. -RainMaker

Quote:

I was interesting in knowing how to overcome a fear I have of meeting new prospects. Outside of work I'm not shy by any means but sometimes when I'm meeting with a new prospect I can barely get the words out. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

It took me a long while while to overcome my fear of meeting new prospects - then my sales manger ( who i shall call, my, Mr Miaggi ) explained things to me this way.

Prospects are like friends that you haven't yet met.

When you meet, there is, a purpose.

Either there is something important for them to learn and you, my friend, have been chosen to share that knowledge with them

or,

there is something for you to learn and they, have been choosen, to share it with you.

- Listen carefully to discover which it is -

People are waiting for you....

-David Bowen

David, your post is right on. Thank you for sharing those thoughts. I'll add that it describes a way to approach life itself--not just our sales activity.

I don't subscibe to the term "call reluctance", and I think "fear of rejection" is largely myth. I know most everybody will disagree with me on both counts. I believe that there is "call avoidance", and it can be a terminal condition in sales. Talk to most people who say they have to overcome fear of rejection and you will usually find that they are in a state of unpreparedness. Simply put, they don't have down pat what they are supposed to be saying to prospects. They have not chosen, or have not been given the words--or--do not want to use the words they have been given.

You have to know what to say to people--and--you have to be willing to say it. Otherwise you are not engaged in selling. -Gary Boye

Gary, you are right!

Mr Miaggi told me that I had been chosen to listen to, to help, to advise or to learn from my prospects.

In order to do that I had to understand the meaning of my message, to believe in it and to demonstate the honesty and integrity of it all to my prospective client.

When I knew, beyond doubt that my message was the right message for the prospect and that bringing it to them was the best thing, the most noble thing that I coukd do with my life right there and then... i became, unstoppable. But it took, research and practice and practice and practice until the goodness of the solution I had to offer breathed from every pore of my body.

In world cup football David Beckham is among the best of the best of all time.
Beckham doesn't freeze in front of the goal, watched by millions, just because the ball is heading his way..... but i would!

But why wouldn't Beckham freeze?

Because he's been training 40 hours every week just to play this one 90 minute game. His coach has lobbed balls at every conceiveable speed, height, angle and direction towards him until he knows, instinctively what to do in any given situation.

I'd freeze in front of the goal.

Beckham would freeze before most of my customers!!!!

So you see Gary, thats why I think you are right.

By the way.... nice to share your views again. David. -David Bowen

David and Gary, what are your thoughts on "stage fright"? -AZBroker

AZEE, I've never been on stage sooo I really couldn't give you any helpful advice on stage fright...

What i can say is that I often read about actors and performers having stage fright all through their career.

One example in recent years was Stephen Fry, a well known and repected actor and all round funny TV personality in the UK.

Fry had decided to extend his career by producing and performing in a London based play of his own. Millions of pounds had been invested by friends, colleagues and business people.

On the very night of the opening he did a runner (skipped town) and couldn't be found for weeks. When the media did find him he was a jibbering wreck.

As far as I know, those people lost every penny they put it ...But that hasn't stopped Stephen Fry comming back to TV and continuing to be a clever, witty, friendly, game show host.

(If you somehow happen to read this Stephen, I think you're a bit of a puff but I liked your performance in Black Adder II).

Ooops azee..... hope I havn't put you off the footlights and grease paint... :o) -David Bowen

I've seen many of our seasoned agents suffer from "call reluctance" which to me appears very similar to "stage freight". I've heard many times that the number one fear of people is the fear of public speaking. Maybe there is some corrolation between this, call reluctance, and stage freight. Any thoughts? -AZBroker

I can speak to stage fright - I don't call it that but I know the term - I've stood before audiences thousands of time with guitar in hand and mouth set in front of a microphone - I haven't done it much for a couple of decades but I now entertain elementary children at my grand daughter's school.

Also, I taught middle and high school twenty+ years and each class is an audience so to speak.

Lastly, today in my business I train once a month in front of a group and on occasion stand up in front of hundreds - a couple of times thousands of people at conferences - to speak.

So I've been in front of people many times.

I've experienced what's called stage fright - for me there's often a moment of apprehension, a moment of expenctancy that the show is about to go on and all eyes and ears will be on me - will do well? will I succeed? will I meet my own expectations and the expectations of those in front of me? will I freeze up?

In those situations I come prepared, I've done my homework, I'm ready to go but . . . uncertainty, a sense of control either lost or kept, the desire to be a hit and entertain well . . . all of that comes to play.

As I look out about to begin I realize that everyone looking back of me has an expectation and a reason to be there, everyone has an interpretation and an impression and a series of those qualities . . . and so do I. But I'm about to strum that first cord, step into my speach, take command of the situation by giving myself totally to it with full attention body, mind and spirit in absolute absorption of the moment.

I've admitted my weakness, my fears, my apprehensions to myself, and I've looked out for a friendly eye, for a smile of recognition, for hands lifting beers or faces half asleep, for the fingers that scratch a chin, for beards, expressions I only half understand . . . for the distracted child playing with his shoelace, for the patron standing up to walk to the wash room.

This is my stage, this is humanity, this is what I'm part of and I have something to offer from the core of my being, from my years of discipline and study and from the passion within I step into that moment, that light that will pass so quickly that thirty minutes, two hours later when I step out it will be as if time stood still and memory is a blur.

With the first downstroke over the steel strings and the rhythm I feel with no other sensation available to me but absolute absorption in the moment I touch strings, fingers dance over strings without thought - I'm amazed at watching it happen -, the tempo of my own spirit beginning to organize my blood stream and heart beat and breath into one unified movement and purpopse for existing, and as the words come from my mouth "He was a friend of mine . . ." every cell in my body and every experience in my life is to bring the meaning of the words to me into full light filling the room with a sound that resonates in the hearts and minds of the listeners.

By the end of the first song or into the first few sentences of a speech or training, when I've totally absorbed myself into the moment time freezed and nothing else but absolute attention to the flow of the moment is happening in the world and all I know is connection - human connection from my own life to those around me. . . all fear has evaporated and I am beginning to come to life in a grand way - it's for the fulfilment of everyone there and mutual recognition and minutes and hours later when it comes time to bow and say "God bless you, take care, be kind to people - we all need it." I walk away knowing that we had some kind of relationship that for just that little bit of time mattered greatly and maybe even deeply and mysteriously in each one of us.

All the world's a stage and the best performances are deeply felt, genuine and real - heart on sleeve and vulnerable yet steel string strong and precise, open to the unexpected and taking control by giving it to the moment, to the audience - totally connected to reveal a truth, an honesty that cracks and breaks through mendacity - that's also the best of sales in my experience.

Whether calm and cool or passionately absorbed - there's something compelling in genuine communication that is for the benefit of other people, that takes nothing from other people, that gives and seeks only completion.

In that knowledge and practice stage fright dissolves - that moment of apprehension is quickly taken over by total absorption in the act of being.

Don't fear fear, don't run from stage fright, don't hide frailty - step into it, admit it, value it, use it to create community and fellowship with that commonality that is within us.

There's one lengthy description of one man's plight! -MitchM

In the well sung words of Blue Oyster Cult errrr? 1979Don't fear the reaper.... -David Bowen

Mitch... Wow! That is an increbile post. I'm liking you more and more. :cool: -AZBroker

Great post, Mitch!

I know that stage fright describes something that has often preceded great performance. RM's wonderful story fits that, I think.

Helen Hayes, called the greatest of American actresses, always suffered nervousness to the point of vomiting before every stage performance. Sid Caesar, the great actor and funnyman who dominated television in the fifties with 90 minute live shows, literally had to be coaxed on stage for every performance. Muhammad Ali was frightened of both Sonny Liston and George Foreman--although he did everything he could to hide it. His bout and victory against Foreman was one of the best fights ever.

I have not witnessed stage fright at that level in selling. -Gary Boye

I froze on stage in front of around six thousand distributors with my company back in 1998 when the VP of sales put a microphone in my hand to speak for a minute or two and all that came out after a long pause and me looking at the people in front of me was: "Amen, have fun, it's a blast." which came after my wife had spoken for a couple of minutes very eloquently and without self-consciousness.

Walking back to our seats she says, "Why did you say that,Mike"

"I don't know! I just froze!"

Later that day people who heard me and said something to me had mixed reviews. Some laughed and said I must have went blank and that was okay, not to worry. But others said I had been so punctual and to the point that my six words were actually cryptic and a breath of fresh air from all the long winded speeches - of course I nodded and agreed with them. -MitchM

Wow, Mitch! (that's for your first post.)

As for "Amen, have fun, it's a blast." I just love posts that cause me to break into spontaneous laughter! Those people who were scratching their heads were clearly just lacking the ability to recognize your true genius...

For me, stage frieght is a purely physical reaction. I've sung the part a hundred times at home. I know I can sing it with style and interpretation that is missing from many of my peers. I'm not aware of any thoughts about failing, or horrible "what if" scenarios going on in my brain...but my stupid body just trembles (like shivering) AND I CANNOT STOP IT. It's horrifying.

Gary, I don't understand your objection to the term "call reluctance." I used to get up every day at 4:45 am and take a 7 mile run down on the beach. I did it everyday and knew exactly what to expect: My pet boxer would drag me half asleep for the first mile and a half. Then I'd find my stride. Finally, I'd feel invigorated and optimistic for the whole day when I started with this run. YET, every single day when that alarm would ring, I would lie in bed for a good 5 minutes or more struggling to decide if I should drag myself up or just roll over and turn off the alarm. Guess what I call this? That's right...RUNNING RELUCTANCE.

For me, call reluctance can be all the things that have been described previously (fear of rejection, unpreparedness, etc.) but even when I eliminate those things, it is simply a natural resistance to step out of my comfort zone (or warm bed). Even when I know it's not that bad once I get going. -RainMaker

I know the feeling. :) -dwalker

I just walked past the TV and my son, who is a HUGE Peanuts fan, is watching Charlie Brown. Linus says to Charlie Brown: "Go on Charlie Brown. She is the homecoming queen. You have to be her escort for the dance." [referring to the little red-haired girl]. Charlie Brown is just standing there shaking from head to toe.

THAT'S IT! That's ME! -RainMaker

I understand the word reluctance to mean a hesitation or feeling to not do something and it captures that moment - the reasons why that feeling is there is what we're trying to address here. -MitchM

Here are a few reasons from "Successful Cold Call Selling":

--Lack of skill
--Need for approval
--Faulty perception of reality
--Poor self-image
--Negative Self-talk -SalesGuy

My Charlie Brown quote was actually referring to my stage fright because of the funny way they showed him physically shaking from head to toe.

For me call reluctance is a strange phenomenon. After my post last Tuesday, I made some calls on Wednesday, went on a couple appointments on Thur and Friday and closed them both. I think for me the best advice for myself is the Nike approach: JUST DO IT. It's that first call that presents some type of resistance. Once I get rolling, I'm fine. But on Monday, I will have to push myselft to start again.

Also, I do not share the years of experience under my belt like many on this board, so it may just be that the act of calling has not become "absorbed" into my routine as second nature....YET. -RainMaker

RM, I've mentioned my view on call reluctance. And I've mentioned a few times my opinions on your talents and great potential in sales, which continue to rise the more I read your posts. With that said, do you see what you and others label as "call reluctance" to be an obstacle to your sales career or current success and earnings? In other words, is it preventing you from achieving your potential--or interfering with achieving your potential and desired outcomes? -Gary Boye

Gary, I guess I would more liken it to a hurdle than an obstacle. If I get a good start, I can fly right over the darned thing, but after a few yards, instead of having flat road or smooth sailing, there's another (the next time I need to start making calls). If I take it on while my momentum is still in play, I can give myself the push to clear the next one and keep going. Once I stop. BAM. Dead in the water and I am bound by the laws of science: it takes much more engergy to get a standing object into motion than a moving one.

So my answer to your question.... It is only a lurking hurdle, but if ignored it has the potential to become an OBSTACLE at any time.

An interesting self-observation about this thread: This thread has been like therapy to me. Each time I post, it causes me to look more closely at my own behavior in order to articulate it clearly. In so doing, a vague underlying detriment is now plain as day to me. Awareness is power. Thanks, guys! :cool: -RainMaker

I think it would be plainer than day without the metaphors and put in terms of making a living in sales. I'm serious. try it. -Gary Boye

Sorry to annoy you with my analogies, Gary, but I look at everything visually, this way. It is simply how my brain is wired. While it may seem like rhetoric to you, it has actually been very helpful to me because I am once again calling and selling and that is what really matters to ME. I'll try to keep my visuals more to myself. :p Regardless of HOW I look at it, the pointed questions and comments of this thread GOT ME LOOKING and that has made a difference. -RainMaker

I liked your visuals. I thought they help. :) -Giuseppe

Me, too.



Did you know that messages must be at least 10 characters long? Evidently, me, too didn't sound like a message... -KSA-Mktg

Thank you. -RainMaker

Ask youself, "Why am I here, and what else would I rather be doing right now."
This should get you thinking in the right direction. In sales, to be truely effective, one must have a passion for what he/she is doing every day. [SIZE=2] :p -metromonster

:eek: I don't know about you but I don't think that would help me very much. -dwalker

Have you given it any thought at all? If you know why you are, then you can be. -metromonster

when I sometimes find myself, after all these years in selling, falling victim to the fear of cold calling ( and it happens to many of the best performers believe me ) I I play the numbers games.

It's a little like speed dating... simply make lots of sales approaches..it doesn't matter if you get rejected or if you mess up, all you have to say to yourself is "NEXT!" and move onto the next call.

of course it's going to help you if you've thought through your presentation of your unique selling proposition and rehearsed it enough to feel confident that what you have to offer is a worth while value to your prospective customers.

Instead of trying to get peope to say YES to me i sometimes see how many straight NOs i can get. Its more difficult to get an outright rejection than you think. You'll get lots of maybes, i'll think about its, and call me in 6month times but you'll find very very few pack up and get the hell out of heres.

If rejection is your greatest fear try getting rejected. Its much harder than getting to YES.

Treat everyone as though you care about them and be sincere about it. If your product or service is a good one and you know that the customer will benefit from using it show him whats in it for him and don't take maybe for an answer. YES will do fine. NO will do fine. But never accept a Maybe.

Maybes hold you back. With a yes or a No you can move forward or move on.

when you are so busy making calls like this you really don't get time to be afraid.

I learned this leason from Brian Phillips of ESP, Nuneaton, UK (my Mr Miaggi )

I sincerely hope this advice works as well for you as it still does for me.

Warm regards

David Bowen -David Bowen

David, excellent post. Great Advice! :cool: -SalesGuy

I am in the right business with the right products for me and I have total confidence in our company - so all that is concrete and absolute. I've also sharpened and continue to sharpen my cold calling using http://www.highprobsell.com/ as my model BUT in spite of all that I ALMOST HATE COLD CALLING!

I do not like to do it, I can look at it from any perspective - I know all the mind games, numbers, etc. BUT I don't want to do it!

BUT I do it anyway because I have to do it to be successful - because I know what it can produce and what I need from my business activity - SO motivation is everything.

Do it with fear - do it with a replusion toward rejection - do it hating it - do whatever it is if you must do it to survive and be successful in what you do.

In the mean time figure out if what you're doing is what you should bd doing and WHY you have negative feelings.

I used to stand up in front of audiences with guitar in hand, microphone in front of mouth, ready to strum and sing and entertain - and those first few minutes were often filled with pain - stage fear! BUT I did it anyway because I wanted to entertain and I loved it once I got going - today when I do an occasional walk-on NO FEAR as I don't care what the outcome is - I'm not trying to make a point or do anything other than entertain myself.

Attitude is everything and with the right attitude you can eliminate much if not all of the negative feelings - still, cold calling isn't what I want to do but what I MUST DO to and as I relax myself with no expectation other than doing that for a couple of hours - it becomes simple and rewarding. -MitchM

[QUOTE=MitchM]I am in the right business with the right products for me and I have total confidence in our company - so all that is concrete and absolute. I've also sharpened and continue to sharpen my cold calling using http://www.highprobsell.com/ as my model BUT in spite of all that I ALMOST HATE COLD CALLING!

If cold calling was easy then every tom dick or harry would be doing it, results would be easy and if anyone could do it then we'd get paid as much as a McDonalds trainee, it would be a real no brainer of a job.

Cold calling is a real challenge, it's a pain barrier, and like all winning atheletes we have to break through the pain barrier if we are going to be the best that we can be.

You are obviously one of those well disiplined winners Mitch who see cold calling as a challenge to be over come. No pain no gain to use the old cliche.
There maybe no fix for you that will make cold calling enjoyable but the bottom line is that like it or loath it you just get on and do it to the best of your ability and you get results because you're prepared to do it come what may.

It takes character to keep on keeping on.

I admire that.

warm regards

Dave Bowen -David Bowen

I suppose this might restate what's already been said here, but I like contributing to great discussions...

The best method I've experienced for overcoming call reluctance (specifically related to cold calling over the phone or in-person) is to set small, incremental goals and to "remind" myself who I'm preparing to talk with.

For example, on a "sales blitz" or if I have an appointment cancel, I may set a goal of 5 quick face-to-face cold calls. That takes a very small amount of time (if I'm parked in the right area), and, if I've targeted my prospects well, at least one good lead will turn up from those 5, which encourages me to continue pushing on (who knows what I'll turn up if I make 5 more!).

On the "reminding myself" part, here's what I do (after only a couple cold calls I'm usually good-to-go). I'll think thoughts like how confident I should be, how great I feel physically at that moment, how I love meeting people face-to-face for the first time, and how it's important that I demonstrate energy and optimism without coming across as an all-hype salesperson. As I do this, I feel a natural strength and vitality. I also feel my posture improve and my face soften. I'm not apologetic in words, tone, or body language when I do these things either -- I'm confident and friendly.

Now, I'm no Tony Robbins. I don't start my day with a spring in my step. I literally have to convince myself to do these things sometimes. But after only a short while I'm able to get into a groove. And the great thing is, I feel it's not contrived or manufactured. I simply have to get myself jump-started in order to perform well in my job.

I won't say it's just an attitude thing. I have to DO certain things. But it does start with the thoughts I think and the things I tell myself. Call it self-talk, whatever. All I know is that it works. -BrandonH

:eek: Yikes! I think I've met you!

That aside, great post. I especially like the part of yes and no's move you forward, but maybe's hold you back. -RainMaker

You are right on the money. -RainMaker

These words, while simple and obvious--HAVE BECOME MY LIFE PHILOSOPHY.

This was one of my biggest breakthoughs in the past year. For me this is divide and conquer. This is the difference between being productive and accomplishing nothing because I am a perfectionist and want to do it all--right now! (an impossible goal). When perfectionists can't do it perfectly--they don't do it all. -RainMaker

Thanks for the insight. Very helpful. -metromonster

Big and small goals go together but it's the big goals that drive the small incremental ones - without the big goals the small ones fizzle and evaporate - they die. That is, you can't begin to build from small, incremental goals without having a sufficient picture of how you want them to add up and toward what end.

I've failed many times because I set too small of goals - I didn't set them to incrementally get anywhere. I understand that thinking but I don't see it work much. In my business those who set small goals usually fail quickly. Motivation is also small.

BUT big goals fuel small goals - the incremental steps required to achieve the big goals. Small goals might be to talk with five serious people a day meaning to screen 100 people a day to find five serious to begin working with a couple of people - those are a sequence of small goals so to speak. But why? To arrive at a million dollar business in a specific amount of time - say two years.

That's how I've learned to think and act. -MitchM

MitchM,

I agree. Having personally sold and led hundreds of sales people I can back up what you're saying. Big goals come first. Being sure of your personal "big picture" (values, principles, long-term goals) helps puts everything down from that in line.

Having said that, I think that small goals encourage action. For most people who can earn year-end bonuses in their jobs, that year-end bonus doesn't drive behavior TODAY. It guides improved behaviors over time, but shorter term goals drive more immediate behavior. Hence, the smaller, incremental goals.

Good discussion. -BrandonH

Mitch, it probably depends on your personality type as to what strategy works best for you. The big goals come first, of course, but the big goals are easy to set, carving out the path to reach them is not so easy.

I have broken the sale process down, for my particular product, into a series of steps. The goal of each step is only to get to the next step, not to make the sale. Of course I really wish I could just make the sale from step one, but I have finally realized that this is not probable and hence have stopped setting myself up for disappointment. Yes the sale is the goal, but looking too many steps ahead of the one I am on at the moment makes me feel discouraged and it dabilitates me. Remember, I only stated that this was a breakthrough for me. It has become my life philosophy because I am a person who becomes easily overwhelmed, and when that happens I accomplish nothing.

I actually learned this rediculously obvious principle on a website designed to help woman who cannot keep a clean house :rolleyes: . Believe it or not many people whose houses are a total disaster are actually perfectionists. While this sounds rediculous, it is actually true. A perfectionist cannot bear the thought they are not doing something perfectly, so instead--they do nothing at all. If they don't have 2 hours to move the couch to vacuum under it, they simply don't vacuum opting to wait until they can "do it right."

The motto of this website is "You can do anthing for 15 minutes." If you hate cold calling, the thought of sitting at your desk making calls for an hour will seem like torture. You procrastinate. Soon you run out of time. Ok. I'll call tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow, you feel guilty because you didn't make a single call yesterday. You secretly vow to call for 2 hours today. Well if you thought ONE hour of cold calling made you feel lousy....It's an all or nothing (perfectionist) approach. By setting small incremental goals, you could cold call for 15 minutes. When you know in advance you can stop after only 15 minutes, you decide you can suffer though. Doing 4 of these easy stints is much easier to attain. Even if your goal was 4 but you only did 3--you have still accomplished 3x more than in the first method. You would be surprised how much you can accomplish in a 15 minute segment, if you hyper focus on it 15 minutes (without getting side tracked).

It is not about setting small goals. It's about taking big goals and dividing them into smaller short-term goals. -RainMaker

It is not about setting small goals. It's about taking big goals and dividing them into smaller short-term goals.[/quote]

I hadn't quite looked at it that way before but yes, i think thats a good way to go about things. 4 x 15 minute stints of cold calling is much more appealing than an hour, although it's actually the same result.

Thanks very much for sharing that with me, i'll be holding that thought for the rest of the day.

warm regards

david -David Bowen

You are welcome, David. I do little spurts of calling throughout the day. Some days I do more than others, but this way, at least SOME calling is done EVERY day and that keeps me moving forward. Your post about "no pain, no gain", and "if it were easy, everyone would be doing it" is quite correct. Get the job done--whatever it takes. This is just a psychological trick that helps me get there. -RainMaker

Great Post, Interesting Pov's -sellscarsinguam

There's an excellent book by Dudley & Goodsen on the subject wherein they describe twelve types of sales call reluctance. I believe they're both psychologists, and they created a field of study called "Sales Call Reluctance."

If you Google that term, you'll find their book and a bunch of other resources, including an assessment that managers or individuals can use to diagnose sales call reluctance. When I was a sales manager, I used the assessment with my salespeople, and the results shed a lot of light on their individual psychological makeup so we could then develop a strategy to overcome these issues.

The best to you! -Skip Anderson

Telephone prospecting does not have to be unpleasant. However Obsolete methods make it depressingly hard.

When you are "Cold Calling" it is difficult, onerous activity. It is loaded with tension, anxiety, negativity, unpleasantness, frequent failure and rejection. What's worse is that most of the appointments that you get are with low probability prospects. That produces low closing rates.

Ironically, most salespeople can take loads of pain. If cold calling worked, and made them good money, many salespeople would do it every day and endure the pain.

When you are doing High Probability Prospecting it is none of the above. It is effective, efficient and enjoyable. It is easy to do it every day and get appointments only with prospects who want to buy, now.

You get a Money Back Guarantee, including All Shipping Charges, when you order “High Probability Selling,” the Book or the CD Set, from our website, only. No Questions Asked!
-JacquesWerth

I'll call the onerous things resistance and stress. I was once full of that - many things including the book Mr. Werth recommends helped me overcome these onerous things - the only resistance and stress I had to overcome to overcome it all.

The best of the best to everyone.

Mike -MitchM

But in response to the initial post by d walker. I think that it is clear in any sales job, there is always an element of fear from the salesperson. The biggest fears are fear of failure and fear of rejection. Not the same thing either, amazingly i find that more salespeople are afraid of personal rejection than of actually failing to close a sale.

So what can you do? I think in any scenario you need an icebreaker, somewhere to start, something to say with absolutely no relevance to the product or service you are selling. Once you are in a conversation of any type its easier to go on!

But most important of all, just remember. You are there because they want what you have. You are the expert of your field! Ive seen a lot of salespeople who get concerned incase they say something wrong. But logically to an extent you know what you are supposed to say, as you have trained to sell what you sell.

The client does not know what you should say, therefor theoretically you cannott be to far wrong in their eyes.

In conclusion, have something interesting to talk about briefly first. And take a few moment prior to seeing the client to buzz your self up and mentally prepare. Lie to yourself if need be and tell yourself all the way "I am not scared", "I am the expert of my field", " I am confident" "I am powerful"

Yes it may sound silly and childish, but if it earns you a few thousand extra so be it. And in time you will begin to believe what you keep telling yourself.

best of luck thmbp2; -adammead26

All of that subterfuge and ice breaking small talk is actually counter to good sales practices and will if not ended produce more stress and resistance and hence more failure.

Okay, people who haven't gotten to the simple causes of their fears and lack of belief and confidence can do those tricky little things things maybe for a while or even longer and have some limited and small success. BUT none of that ever leads to big success and accomplishments - never.

The best of the best to everyone's success.

Mike -MitchM

Yes i can see why you might make that conclusion, however i strongly disagree. I believe that done in the right way an icebreak is essential. It the opportunity to personable and initiate a conversation which will, done the right way lead to establishing a common ground with prospective client.

I can only speak from personal experience, but i would confidently say it has never held me back or prevented me from achieving success. -adammead26

What do you disagree with that I said? I can't identify it without help -this might stimulate a conversation that can benefit someone.

MitchM -MitchM

I merely disgaree that an ice break should be considered as subterfuge. It seems from your response that you view an ice break as a useless time waste, or counter productive.

I feel that often it is beneficial, not just to make the salesperson comfortable, but to put the client at ease. By doing so we can often ensure less resistance throughout the sales process.

Of course if done incorrectly or in amateurish, then of course it is see through and in such instance, perhaps detrimental.

But im sure most would agree that in any sales process, it makes good sense to talk about other things of seperate topics.

Sales people need to appear personable and friendly at some point! -adammead26

If the sales person has to make him or herself comfortable with what you call an ice breaker there's a root problem that person has that will limit success - look, anyone can call earning $30,000 or $100,000 a year success - that's a personal thing. BUT any kind of sustained success is the result of confidence and clear communication ice breakers have nothing to do with nor will they correct the root problem.

Likewise, I don't trust potential clients who need my small talk - what you call ice breakers, to feel comfortable. There's something that's going to be dysfunctional about that working both ways.

I want to get right into the heart of what someone is looking for and wants - last night I was introduced to someone who was understood to want what I sell. I introduced myself and told a little about myself - it wasn't ice breaking it was letting someone know that I am experienced and it was to the point of what I do and sell, not ice breaking small talk. Then I went right into questions concerning what this person wants and why and whether I can deliver it and deeper questions about pain and discomfort and life and death.

That's what produces mutual respect and comfort - these other things create unease and mistrust at worse and at best small and limiting sales success.

The best of the best to everyone. -MitchM

... In my opinion, making conversation with prospects is a good thing (I'm not talking about making too much conversation - that's a different issue). I don't think it's a "tricky little thing."

When you first meet a blind date, you chat the other person up; When you meet your daughter's boyfriend, you make conversation; When you sit down at a job interview, you make small talk. When you're a manager, you chit-chat with your employees. When you meet your college roomate, you converse.
How did we get to a place in our thinking that taking steps to create trust and rapport with our prospect (as another human being) is a bad thing, or as Mike puts it, a "tricky little thing"? I don't get that. -Skip Anderson

If anyone feels good doing ice breaking and it produces warm fuzzies and great success good for that person. I don't do that and am successful without it and find it distracting and counter to the success I want.

Of course you make conversation unless you do it in mime which I don't. When it gets to what I have and someone wants it's clear and direct and to the point. That's what produces respect and a good relationship.

I just leased a car and the salesman tried to break the ice and make small talk and in a few minutes I let him know I didn't need or want that so he smartly sobored up and got to the point. My time and his should be too valuable for ice breaking small talk and likewise, our confidence shouldn't require it either.

Mike -MitchM

Hi MitchM,
A quick review of your posts tells me that you are a "Thinker-Judger" in Myers-Brings Personality Type speak. (If anyone is interested in this concept, there are tons of books and resources about the Myer-Briggs Type Inventory). What does this mean?

1. As a "Thinker", you make decisions in a detached, logical manner (versus "Feelers" who make decisions using subjective values like harmony, connection, etc.), and
2. As a "Judger", you long for closure (as opposed to "Perceivers", who prefer the journey towards closure more than closure itself).

So, MitchM, if I were to sell to you, I would quickly ascertain that you were a "Thinker-Judger", and then I would deal with you in a manner that would be highly likely to resonate with you, the "Thinker-Judger" prospect.

But the reality is that most people are not Thinker-Judgers like you, MitchM.

Only 40% of females are "Thinkers" and only 60% of males are Thinkers. So if my prospect is a "feeler", I have to completely change my approach so that my prospect doesn't get frustrated and shut down (just as you almost got frustrated with your car lease salesperson). "Small talk" is what a "feeler" needs to feel comfortable with a salesperson, because they're looking for an emotional connection with the salesperson, unlike a "Thinker" who wants facts and figures.

Only 50% of people are "judgers". The other 50% are "perceivers."Perceivers prefer flexible, spontaneous, adaptive behaviors. Perceivers change their minds often, they like to explore options, they are in a constant state of discovery about a situation. Perceivers take longer to make a purchase decision than judgers do.

So, if I was to sell to a perceiver, I would be prepared to spend a lot more time with them. And "ice breaking" or "chit-chat" would help do that.

I have no doubt that you, MitchM, are a very successful salesperson. But I just wonder if your success might not be even more explosive if you would sell to the prospect's personality type rather than your own personality type. There's no question that the vast majority of people out there are not "thinker-judgers" like you, and they have a preference to be sold in a different manner than you yourself prefer to be sold to. Even though you get offended by small talk, the vast majority of prospects need it.

The best to you! -Skip Anderson

I can appreciate the analysis though I don't quite fit into that box of thinker/judger - I am familiar with the MB inventory you mention. Contrary to your description of me I'm very sensitive to the other person and what the other person needs and wants - I'd describe myself more along the lines of the movements of someone doing ba gua which you'll have to look up if you don't know it.

Blending is one of the most important aspects of what I do and it's not contrary to clear and direct communications as one may believe from the outside.

I'm not offended by small talk or ice breaking - I just don't want to use my time doing it, Skip. What I look for in a conversation is big talk - an immediate relationship of mutual engagement and honesty - and in all actuality I'm one of the most spontanious and flexible people you'd ever know if you knew me.

I don't fit those descriptions easily and I don't think most people do either - I could be wrong about that. Mostly I work from a state of passion and emotion though behind the scenes there's some rational and pragmatic thought - whatever that is anyway.

Keep the field of inquiry free and clear and open for discovery and curiosity if the other person is doing the same and willing to engage.

The best of the best to you.

MitchM -MitchM

MitchM and everyone, I appreciate that we can have meaningful dialogue about these various selling issues in this forum.

Skip -Skip Anderson

If there was ice to break, I would agree that you need an icebreaker.

When a prospect agrees to meet with you to determine whether or not to buy from you, there is no ice to break.

There are two things that almost all prospects will discuss freely.
1. An agenda for deciding whether to do business with each other.
2. The needs they want to satisfy.

It is better to start with number 1. -JacquesWerth

"If there was ice to break, I would agree that you need an icebreaker. " -- JW

It took me time to see the humor in Mr. Werth who I only know from the Internet and a little information I've read and from reading - no, learning and learning what he says in his book.

I had heard things similar to what was just posted about only meeting with people who want what I have to offer - but it didn't fully sink into my behavior and belief. WHehn Mr. Werth began posting these things they half rang a bell in my head and half caused me frustration.

Then getting into a few conversations in threads the frustration grew because Mr. Werth doesn't digress and standing his own ground caused me to question myself in a way that produced discomfort.

BUT I want to improve - I wanted to then - and I still do. I figure at 62 maybe I have four decades to improve as I do no like to think of myself not being here in less time than that.

So I began going over his words and through his book putting it to practice the best I could and still do. For me it's life and death - pleasure and pain - and I don't mean that in any emotional or dramatic way. It's the fact of living and every decision has those elements in it - so I take my time and the time of everyone I might do business with respectfully and to the point.

I went to a chamber meeting last week my motive being free food and an aikido demonstration BUT I kept a clear and attentive mind. I heard small talk and ice breakers and realized once again why it doesn't interest me, why it's counter productive, and why I don't have time for it.

I'm still improving and I haven't come close to what I intend to accomplish in my business life but as haltingly and toddling along as I've been like most people nothing has improved me more than what Mr. Werth has to say.

MitchM -MitchM

I hadn't quite looked at it that way before but yes, i think thats a good way to go about things. 4 x 15 minute stints of cold calling is much more appealing than an hour, although it's actually the same result. [/quote]

That definitely sounds more appealing. However, it is inefficient and ineffective.

Statistically, the most efficient and effective time period for telephone prospecting is 3½ hours, which includes two 15 minute breaks. Most people get their best results in the third hour. -JacquesWerth

Jacques, please share with us the research that supports this fact.

Thanks. -Skip Anderson

Send for the HPP Activity Record mentioned in my previous post.

We have collected thousands of those documents which were filled out by graduates of our workshops.

We analyze them for many different performance factors and results. -JacquesWerth

Thanks Jacques. -Skip Anderson