The Human Factor

By request from SalesGuy, I have started this thread because I referenced a post by Gary Boye that was very helpful to me in the thread "Approaching The Big Boys." He would be more suited to elaborabe on it, but Here is his post from that thread:

RM, you put yourself in that bucket. It seems to me from your posts that this project is vitally important to your family's future. This isn't about getting past "gatekeepers"--whatever that means. It isn't about constructing an exercise in creative selling, or selecting effective jargon.

The issues are this. You need to talk with the person who is going to make a decision to impact his company's future dramatically because you have information that will help get that accomplished. You need to talk with this person because it will effect your own family's livelihood, financial well-being and choices for your children's education--among other things.

That's a little bit different perspective, isn't it?

I have never been in a position where one "sale" could have such a dramatic effect on my life or future, such as the one you describe. But, I'll tell you something. In forty years, I have only failed twice in an attempt to talk with a decision maker. Both times I took it personal and let it be known. It's not because I'm better at this sort of thing. It's because I think differently. There are no "gatekeepers" in my mind. There are human beings, that if you express a sincere need, you can get help. Forget about fancy word tactics or technique. Express your needs. In this case they are significant.

What this advice did for me was help me to realize that I didn't need to be clever or try to find a way to build myself up to a level that a high level executive at a financial giant institution would consider worthy of attention (which would be an impossible task).

Instead I started out with the switchboard operator and explained my dilemma: I have a very unusual situation; I don't repesent a company, but a private inventor; I have a patent that can virtually eliminate online credit card fraud; I would like to make someone in your company aware of it in case it is something they would like to learn more about; I have no earthly idea how to proceed. can you please help me??

It didn't work every time, but I worked my way into Captal One and Bank of America with this approach.

Outside of this unusual situation, this approach has spilled over into my approach with prospects for my web business. I am more spontaneous, flexible, understanding of the INDIVIDUAL now. Although I tend to prepare my phone and live presentation in advance, I am now more in tuned with the individual and will adapt or even completely ditch my presentation as the situation dictates. Less robot. More human.

Also, there was a recent post that touched on this that was good, too...but I would have to dig to find it. -RainMaker

What you descibed hear is actually a sales technique for enlisting the aid of the gatekeeper. -SalesGuy

The other day a pastor of a church said to me: "I have this fear that the members of my church will think I'm trying to take advantage of the situation by coming to them with _____________ so what I do I do? How do I handle this?"

"Tell them what you just said to me. Tell them that you have this fear that your motives will be misunderstood and that you might be seen trying to take advantage of a situation by coming to them but that this information is important to you to get to them for their use - tell them they can do whatever they want with the information but they need to have it."

This might be a different situation but the human dynamics are similar and I've found that there are some situations when admitting my weakness or fear or limitation is the right thing to do.

People respect that strength of character. -MitchM

Yes, that is true, but any approach or contact with another person for the purpose of "selling" could be considered a sales technique.

This approach was so simple that it was affective and I felt much more confortable and connected to it.

Mitch captures the concept well in his post. People relate and respect human beings, but have a natural reservation, suspicioun, or outright distrust for a salesman. I am not implying to misrepresent your intent only to make the contact more personal and more "real." It's not magic or a great mystery unveiled, but this advice had a positive impact on my success at my point in my career. -RainMaker

Enlisting the gatekeeper was simply HOW I used it in that example. The point was not enlisting the gatekeeper, the point was how I presented myself--with sincerity.

Human sincerely cannot be taught. It cannot be learned. It cannot be called upon at will as it suits the situation like a technique from a book. It can only be FELT. You have it. Or you don't. -RainMaker

So rainmaker - are you saying that human sincerity is genetic? -MitchM

Well, I suppose you cannot genetically feel anything if you are a sociopath (forgive my paraphrasing...I did not study psychology). OTHERWISE I do not believe I am saying that. -RainMaker

Why is that? :confused: -Mikey

rainmaker, my understanding is that when things in us are not anything that can be learned they are the result of something intrinsic - genes - not that you feel with you genes necessarily.

So then what are you saying - are only some people born to have human sincerity and no one else can get it? Explain your theory. -MitchM

Mitch, this is not intrinsic. I am talking about sincerity. A hussler can come home from a hard day's work swindling people by lying to them to get what he wants/needs and then use the money to care for his crippled mother. Is he sincere or not? During the day with his "victims?" No. With his mother whom he loves? Yes.

You can move from sincerity to insincerity, at any time. It is only a state of mind based on what is in your heart at that moment. When I stated that you have it or you don't, I meant AT THAT MOMENT-- NOT FOREVER! -RainMaker

Sincerity can also be learned - it's a character trait which also means it's cultural as well as parential and educational. -MitchM

Yeah, ok -RainMaker

Rainmaker, can you discuss this or is it just yeah ok? What is the source of this human quality sincerity in your opinion? -MitchM

Honestly, Mitch, I dont' have the desire to discuss it further. I posted a comment on the meaning and helpfullness that I derived from some advice I received from Gary Boye, which prompted SalesGuy to ask me to elaborate on it on a new thread, which I have now done.

I am not a sales trainer. I am not an educator. I have not studied psychology or human nature to any great extent. Frankly, I don't know a heck of alot about anything, Mitch. I can only share my own experiences, which I do openly. The good. The bad. And the ugly.

That's all I got, Bub.

Also, I love how you quote songs in your post titles. This is my first song title, but I did that one just for you.;) -RainMaker

Are you being sincere about all that, rainmaker? I have been sincere. -MitchM

Mitch, I can be a bit a smart aleck, sometimes, but I am very sincere. I really don't have more to add to this thread beyond what I have said. I wasn't prepared to delve so deeply but only to elaborate on what I meant in my previous post to Gary. I am not prepared to defend my position because I dont' really have a position--only my own take on a piece of advice I received from Gary that was very useful to me.

...And I'm really frustrated with myself for not being clever enough to come up with another song title for this post.

Speaking of songs, what music did you play on that guitar of yours? I went to a party once and the host, after having many cocktails, got out his guitar and starting singing. He was amazed to learn that I knew the words and could sing along to every John Denver, Jim Croce, Eagles, and Harry Chapin song he sang (and although I didn't actually know much by Bob Dylan, I could do a pretty good imitation of him). We've been great friends ever since.
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Let it be known that because this is MY THREAD, I can change with subject without being accused of hijacking. (I read that in Official Thread Rulebook put out by Milton Bradley--many don't realize this, but they are actually the governing body over the thread police.) -RainMaker

rainmaker - I'm not being smart aleck or confrontational - what you said struck me as something I needed to ask about for clarification - when that's happened to me and I haven't had a satisfactory answer [for myself] it's produced sometimes long suffering and other times short discomfort in coming to terms with my terms - always for some good - that's the spirit I've been questioning in - nothing more.

Those are some talented song writers you mentioned - I play little odds and ends from the silver threads and one-of-a-kind rags and rewritten phrases of popular and mostly forgotten song writers and poets:

"The blues jumped a rabbit
rode him a solid mile
brought him down kicking
screaming like a new born child" - Blind Willie McTell -MitchM

Mitch, if you really want to know what I THINK..HERE IT IS: I BELIEVE IT TO BE FROM GOD--THE SOURCE OF ALL HUMANITY.

That is what I believe--which is the question that you asked. I have no intention nor desire to bring up or discuss in any way religious ideology.

Let me put it to you this way--Gary if you are reading this, close your eyes, here comes another story--music is something that is very dear to me and to you as well.

I have no formal training and have never studied music. In contrast, I have a friend who is a beautiful soprano. She sings primarily classical music. Everyone just LOVES her voice. In high school we both sang in the same church group. She was a spotlight singer. I solo'd only occasionally--ususally much smaller parts.

Much to my surprise, I had people approach and confide in me that they always enjoyed my solos more than hers and why didn't I sing more?

I can assure you, Mitch, it is not because my vocal talent exceeds hers.

Ther reason for this was because she sang beautiful resonating pear-shaped tones with perfect pitch. She hit every note right on target, just as it was written.

I don't sing pitches and tones and perfect quality notes. I sing words. Words make me feel. I sing what I feel. I try to make the listeners feel it too. For me music is all about FEELING and VERy LITTLE about notes.

FOR ME, sincerity comes from inside. It is gutteral. It simply is. It is part of our humanity. It seperates us from the animal kingdom. I do not believe you can have sincerity without somehow feeling it. I do not claim to understand the source of it. -RainMaker

Because you are so sincere in your request for me to answer your question, I have answered it the best I know how in my previous post (probably not very well...sorry).

Wow, you are over my head in the music department. Please throw out a few artist names, so I can look up their work. I have an insatiable appetite for discovering new music (new to me, that is). -RainMaker