Being Nice vs. Getting Results

Being the nice guy often backfires in the end. Being a mean SOB can often bring the required results IMHO.

I’d answer this honestly but………I’m afraid people won’t like me.

Only kidding,
That’s a great way of looking at a very common problem.
We need to balance;

Game Plan
Results
Effort
Integrity
Focus

Spooky, the acronym is GREIF…..

This is one of the most effective combinations in sales and also one of the lest common.

Excellent insight.

Snowman

This post reminds me a man I knew while I was serving in the Army over in Germany. I had more respect and admiration for this man than almost any other person I could think of. He was a great leader. He lead by example. He was not afraid to say I don't know or say it was his fault when something went wrong. More often than not when he was around things where going right. I remember one day someone forgot to set the brake on a 30 ton tank. The tank was rolling down hill and headed for a couple of tents with troups in it. He risked his own life by diving on top of the tank crawling through the drivers hatch to set the brake stopping the tank before it could do any harm. He received a medal, but it was a medal for doing a good job, not for saving saving lives, not the type of medal he deserved, not the medal he was put in for by the First Sergent. Why because he was the kind of man who spoke his mind, who told people what he thought and this agrivated some people. I asked him if it bothered him that he did not recieve the medal that he was put in for. And he replied no ... I know I deserved it I know what I am worth. Just because someone does not like me I am not going to let it change the person I am. Even though some people may say less than favorable things about me I know in my heart that the people who do know me will stick up for me when I am not there to defend myself. I know if we go to war I will have people who will watch my back and I will watch theirs.

People who say bad things about others. Well they hang out together too, and those are the type of people who only watch out for themselves. Those are the type of people who get left by their buddies on the battle field when the enemy is charging in.

As I reread this I think how it translates to sales and this post.

People are smarter than you think. If you are just being nice to get a sale they can sense that. If you are a genuine good person and tell everyone not just your customers what's in your heart even though it may not be what they want to hear. They will respect you. And that type of respect that not only gets you sales but get you referrals.

Jorel

awesome story. and yes that does explain very clearly what sales is all about. most of the time people will see through a fake personality. and if they don't innitialy, they will in the future.

Sincere genuine kindness will breed long term business relaionships. Straight forward tell it like it is can breed long term relationships. Trying to be smooth and come across fake, might work once or twice, but will never earn you a repeat or referral business that we all need and rely on to build a bigger better future.

I just read this again and thought all the new members should look at this, this is one of the best treads IMO.

"The "nice guys" who succeed want continued success more than nearly anything else in life." From experience I have found that my biggest problem wasn't with customers, rather with management who don't practice what they preach (at job interviews you'll be asked about problem solving, but try doing something outside of the box when you work for these companies who are unimaginative even though your sales performance is quite good).

Leo Durocher has been quoted, with some element of truth, that "nice guys finish last." I think you'll be hitting more on the nail by switching from nice to professional.

Fantastic POst

That says alot coming from someone who posts like you do to.

My kudos with the rest for BrandonH's insights, especially "the idea that a worthy desire in life (being liked) can become an unhealthy preoccupation and hindrance to success."

Is it possible that the opposite is also true, that a "worthy desire in life (being successful) can become an unhealthy preoccupation and hindrance to success?" When I think about "wanting continued success more than anything else in life" I ask, more than my family and children? More than my self-respect?

I've met and worked with a lot of salespeople who experience this dilemma as an "either/or" problem. Either I'm nice (and people like me) but my business suffers, or I'm tough-minded (and make sales) but don't develop trusting, sustained positive relationships. Suppose, as Brandon H suggests, we reframe this as a "both/and" creative problem: how can I be both "nice" and "tough" at the same time – without needing to give away my business to please people or step on others to get ahead. How can I be both "professional" and "caring" at the same time? It's like a pendulum swinging back and forth (often wildly) between extremes of "passive" and "aggressive" behavior. The "sweet spot" is the middle range in which we can be both strongly assertive and supportive/nurturing, depending on the situation.

If we were to talk about "root causes," I know when I go too far on one or another extreme of the pendulum swing, I need to stop and figure out what the fear or concern is that triggers my unhealthy behavior so I can deal with it myself and not put my issues on my customers.

Also – Right on the money Jorel!!!

NIce comment Tom

Being Nice vs. Getting Results

Self Improvement - Personal Development Forum