Ego

How important is ego in selling?
- by Tony Dunne
Snowman,
I am a firm believer in ego NOT having ANY practical use in ANYTHING!;st The term "ego" itself...is closed-minded and self-serving...leave the compliments to the customers....not yourself;wi .

As always Snowman....a pleasure;bg

-David - by truesaxman
Snowman,
I am a firm believer in ego NOT having ANY practical use in ANYTHING!;st The term "ego" itself...is closed-minded and self-serving...leave the compliments to the customers....not yourself;wi .

As always Snowman....a pleasure;bg

-David
David

I totally agree.
I had a discussion with a sales manager I know and he actually equates ego with drive and desire to achieve, I donít.

I told him iíll run a poll and let the forum decide.

The pleasures all mineÖSnowman:thup - by Tony Dunne
David

I totally agree.
I had a discussion with a sales manager I know and he actually equates ego with drive and desire to achieve, I don’t.

I told him i’ll run a poll and let the forum decide.

CHECK MATE!!!!!!!HAHAHA!:yi
Your boss obviously has hit one of those plateaus that we all seem to so graciously set up for ourselves.....oh well.....you can't save them all from themselves sometimes.

And the pleasures more mine than it is yours Snowman ;st

As always...thanks for the thought provoking topics...YOU MAKE MY DAY MORE INTERESTING:thup

-David - by truesaxman
Self-esteem is very important. I don't know about Ego. - by Calvin
I agree that self esteem is important, and I think it's a much more positive trait than ego.

Maybe at times there seems to be a fine line between self esteem and ego, though. - by Ricardo
While many people make a place for the "ego" in their lives, I'm not sure how many understand what it really is and the negative effects it has on everyday life.

The Ego is the mind that most people use during their daily life. It is the mind that causes you to hurry, the one that is filled with thousands of independent thoughts each and every day.

The Ego is a hierarchy that says, “I am special”; there is no one like me. It is the mind that believes it is completely on its own; it is separate from everything and everyone around it.

The Ego creates a particular world view that reflects on any thing and any one that comes into its presence. The Ego is a byproduct of living within society; it lives by comparisons.

Watching The Ego is a fascinating journey into self-realization. When you can see that The Ego is the root cause of every negative feeling and outcome in your life, you can take the steps necessary to make changes.

So…..NOPE……I don’t see a place for the “ego” in sales.


-Terri - by Terri
Terri

Thanks for the most comprehensive definition and explanation iíve ever heard of the EGO, very insightful.

Keep up the good the great comments.:thu

Snowman - by Tony Dunne
According to the Encarta dictionary, Ego is usually an appropriate level of self esteem. It can be over exaggerated to a level of inflated self importance in some people.

I guess I vote for at least a medium level of true self esteem in order to be successful at anything. I believe a feeling of inflated self importance would come from someone with very little real self esteem. - by ozzie
According to the Encarta dictionary, Ego is usually an appropriate level of self esteem. It can be over exaggerated to a level of inflated self importance in some people.

I guess I vote for at least a medium level of true self esteem in order to be successful at anything. I believe a feeling of inflated self importance would come from someone with very little real self esteem.
Thanks Ozzie, very insightful.;bg - by Tony Dunne
I am going to have to step out on a limb here and disagree with everyone but the Sales Manager. I believe having a strong ego is very important when it comes to sales. We have been incorrectly taught by society that it is bad to have a big ego. Like those who where taught by Hitler that Jews where bad people. Okay I may be taking it a little to far. But think about it for a little bit, look inside yourself and ask yourself. Would you prefer to have no ego (no belief in yourself) or a strong ego (strong belief in yourself). Is it really the fact that you don't think ego is important or is it really the fact that you have met people who are so full of themselves you don't like to be around them? Hmm, I for one have not even met the second one. For I admire someone who believes in themselves. Every day it gets harder to believe in yourself. Women say you have to be sensitive. Men say you have to be strong. You have to listen to your gut. You have to listen to your customer. You have to listen to your manager even though you don't agree with them. It is no wonder so many people are confused. But I know one thing is true. Those who believe in themselves and their product outsell and do better for themselves, their company and their family. Who here does not want to provide more for their family? Who ever does not want that I have no respect for. - by Jorel
I think a healthy ego, combine with humbleness, will serve you well.

Susan - by susana
While I agree that self-esteem and self-confidence are important traits for (sales) people, I do not equate either with “ego”.

If “believing in yourself” means knowing that you and everything around you are a part of a higher power….that you are divinely perfect…..that you are basically an appendage of something magnificent, I absolutely agree. The quiet and contented assurance that naturally flow from this believe can only increase a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem.

This is real self-esteem and self-confidence.

If, however, “believing in yourself” is a belief that you are special…..that you are separate from everyone and everything around you…..the ego’s inflated sense of self importance has risen again.

I highly recommend reading “Ego – The False Center” by Osho.

I also recommend reading “A Course in Miracles”, published by The Foundation for Inner Peace.

-Terri - by Terri
I believe sales people with big egos are doing themselves and others a diservice.
A good sales person asks the right questions and is a good listener not a show off.

Steve Hilliar - by stevehilliar
It is probably upon deaf ears I say this but there may be someone wise enough to understand this and to this one I write this.
Ego is what you believe in yourself, too many people because of religion or other ways of being raised think you should be humble and not think much of yourself, you should give to others. But if you think highly of yourself you will make more and be able to give more to others.

As I went to http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm I read this:

He does not know who he is; he simply knows what others think about him. And this is the ego: the reflection, what others think.

I feel sorry for the soul who believes someone else more than they believe themselves.

I prefer not to let the person who says no to me on a sales call affect my attitude. This is what someone with a small or even average ego might do.

What if Martin Luther King Jr. believed what others thought about him. Where would this society of ours be now?

Can you honestly look in the mirror and say you want your clients beliefs about you change your actions?

Or would you prefer to be strong enough to dismiss illfounded criticism, to be the best you could be so the next client you talk to can you have confidence in youself and your product?

Now let me tell you a story about a young boy who went to his first dance at a new school. It was a Thursday evening "practice prom", an early evening dance in the gym so the students could practice various dance steps before the prom.


The music was provided by tape deck; one of the teachers played the role of DJ. The dance was chaperoned by a number of teachers, and was to end early. Dress was informal.


"Go ahead," his parents urged him. "You'll have fun."
So he put on his dress casual clothes and let his parents drop him off, hoping to meet some new friends.


When he walked in he realized that he didn't know a soul. He slunk over to a corner and watched as the couples danced and laughed and when the music ended he didn't know what to do.


A teacher came over and greeted him. "Go on," the teacher said kindly, "No one will dance if you don't ask them."
He moved out of the teacher's sight, but couldn't figure out a way to approach any of the girls to ask for a dance. He had never felt more alone, or more useless.


He tried to stay out of the way, and he spent the evening watching the other kids have fun. They all looked like they belonged there and no one even glanced his way.


He wished he didn't have to wait till the evening was finished before his parents would pick him up but he was stuck there. The dance took forever to be over.


This is an example of a person with a small ego. Do you honestly think this type of person would make a very good sales.


If you do, you work in a very different market than I do, as I have seen people like this fail misserably in my business, as they complained that "For Sale By Owners are mean, I don't have that many freinds I could talk to and I can't say that they way you do".


Now I am not saying that you must force your way of thinking and beliefs on others. But I woud have left this business a long time ago and my family, friends would not believe in me if I did not.


If you want to be able to sell to people, you need to understand them. And in order to understand them you need to understand and believe in yourself.


Some people may even believe that people with big egos are anoying ... show off ... loud mouth jerks. I contest just the opposite. A rich man does not have to say he is rich. A person who believes in himself does not have to convince others of it. He is more likely to share and help those who are willing to help themselves. Warren Buffet is donating 37 billion dollars.


Adversly it is the person with the small ego who is trying to put on a show because he does not feel secure in who he is. That is the anoying loud mouth jerk that so many detest.




- by Jorel
The reality for me is that the answer isn't as easy as i thought it was.;sm - by Tony Dunne
Well I think the real answer is not to be a big noter.

That is what comes across from a lot of people with big egos.
Just be natural that is all we need to be.

Steve - by stevehilliar
Good point Steve, being authentic is one of the key success drivers that I teach.thmbp2; - by Tony Dunne
How important is ego in selling?
If you let the Ego go - you will succeed alot more.

The ego is a state of mind issue to your mind by yourself that puffs up your inner brain to think you are better then you are. This come across to customers and can void the sale.

Great post Tony. - by Snowboy
Snowman,
If you had the option to select Not at all I would have been all over it.

In My Opinion - a sales person with an EGO in concerned chiefly or only with oneself and their advantage to the exclusion of others. In this regard there is no way a customer will be happy.

While an ego might create a difference of personalities in the workplace - sales staff should get rid of it before speaking to customers.

Good thought Snowman msnwnk; - by Coffee
"I think a healthy ego, combine with humbleness, will serve you well." - Susana

Susana - Are you saying that you need the best of both worlds or that people need to be balanced? - by Coffee
Over the years I've watched many people be very successful at their endeavors, which could include sales, because of their aggressive egos.

I read somewhere and I can't remember who penned the phrase, "would you rather be rich or right?".

If egos were not an important component of success we'd not have a Ford to drive or a Microsoft OS as a couple of examples.

Chuck - by Sales Pro 1000
Chuck,
Being Rich or Right????? - I don't see what this has to do with owning an EGO.

Inmy experience the Egotist in the sales environment is the one that is shining for a month or maybe two. Let the egotist kick themselve in their balls though when they don't come first and listen to the excuses and the reasons why. Sales staff with big EGO's don't take on responsibility although maybe appealing to a certain demographic - they certainly don't appeal to all and fall over quickly when pushed. - by Snowboy
I guess the term "ego" can have varied meanings.

The "would you rather be rich or be right" is something I read several years ago and has served me well over the 40 years of my selling career.

The illustration you give of the sales guy who breaks every rule and is soon dust to my mind has little to do with his ego. He's just misdirected and quite possibly has a lot of energy he doesn't know what to do with.

In commission selling my responsibility is to myself to get the sale. My ego becomes a big part of that quest. I'm not suggesting that big ego has anything to do with making unethical or unprofessional actions to gain the sale.

If we take this scenerio a bit further, when the awards are handed out at the annual sales meeting I've never had anyone complain about the tactics I've had to use to gain the sales which created the paychecks and benefit programs for those who work behind the scenes. I've been fired more than a few times, though, for pushing back at out of control managers but in the end my paycheck has not suffered as a result.

Chuck - by Sales Pro 1000
Geez Snowboy, you really brought out the emotions on this question. What a variety of responses and opinions..good job!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had a HUGE ego when I was a young salesman. As a top-level athlete all my life, I approached my sales career as a 'game.' My super-competitive nature caused me to be a ruthless, 'take-no-prisoners,' 'no one is going to beat me' attitude. In my mind I had to sell everyone that came into our store, and I had to be top salesperson in every company I worked for.

It worked for many years and made me a lot of money, but it made me no friends with my co-workers and I didn't build a solid referral business of past customers. I always had to work harder (instead of smarter) to find new customers on a consistent basis.

In my early 50's I hired my first personal coach. He totally changed my attitude (and my life) by teaching me how to take a good, true look at myself. He taught me how to dismiss my EGO and concentrate my talents on what I could do to help my customers, my co-workers, my friends, and my family. He taught me how to concentrate on how I could add real value to other people's lives, not just mine.

I discovered that by helping others get what they want and need, I would automatically get what I wanted. I'm in my late 50's now and I basically no longer have an EGO. Believe me, I still have an abundance of self confidence and self esteem because I know what I can do. But it's much more satisfying to concentrate my talents and efforts on helping other people attain their goals, and understand their thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and actions, and how they affect their professional, and personal, lives.

Once you forget about yourself and just making sales to earn money, and concentrate your talents and emotions on sincerely helping others, you experience a 'shift' in your personality and your self worth. When you help others, more abundance flows into your own life. When you help others, countless opportunities appear to you that you never noticed before. When you help others, your own life takes on new meaning and your 'awareness' of your 'self' expands. I could go on and on...

Great question to throw out there Keith...you're the man!

p.s. I thought Terri's answers were very insightful and deep also. - by Dougd55
CoachDoug,

Now that's about as perfect an illustration of the "feel-felt-found" objection handling technique I've ever experienced.

Chuck - by Sales Pro 1000
Thanks Chuck...your compliment doesn't stroke an EGO within me...it increases my self-worth that I added value to our world and helped someone today, which makes my entire day successful... - by Dougd55
Doug,
As always it is such a pleasure to get feedback from you. Great experience and thanks. thmbp2; - by Snowboy
Good feedback guys...thanks thmbp2; - by Tony Dunne
How important is ego in selling?
Ego has different meanings. Which one are you using? - by Bulldog
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