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Is There A Bright Side To Leaving A Job That Makes Money But Stresses Out Your Spouse

Is ANY job worth the stress it puts on your spouse and the relationship you share? Lately I have encountered this problem when my fiancee voiced to me that she felt that my job was taking "too much time from us" and that the time we DID spend was "lower in quality" because I am usually so stressed out about the responsibilities I have. Among those responsibities are: garbage duty, cleaning duty for the entire store, writing up appraisals, taking in and delivering repairs, phones, mailing, advertising, ordering, contacting vendors for repairs and concerns, estimates, selling on the floor, opening and closing the store, etc... the list goes on, though the main point to make...is that there is little to no margin for error (I work alongside the owners). :hu But the big point to make is how it has effected the life I share with my fiancee as I have found out on multiple occasions. There are so many reasons to stay at this job....it supports our lifestyle quite well considering she can only work part time at minimum wage because she is a full time student, but I am thinking that somehow that is not enough.

Should I stay at a job to maintain a lifestyle that we both share, or is the additional stress not worth maintaining this lifestyle?
I am just worried that if I transfer to a lower paying job (which are plentiful in my area):sa , would I just be creating an additional stress while solving the other?

Confusion and pain...are the inspirations for all things beautiful....am I making the right choice to lower the standards of my job placement to improve the quality of my home life?

Anyone with advice is GREATLY appreciated....hopefully I'm not the ONLY one who has...or is going through this.:cu

Sincerely,
David - by truesaxman
David in my opinion working at any position that isn't in harmony with other aspects of your life is a recipe for being miserable.

Are there other positions or companies you can work at that might be a better fit? - by AZBroker
David in my opinion working at any position that isn't in harmony with other aspects of your life is a recipe for being miserable.

Are there other positions or companies you can work at that might be a better fit?
AZ,
I believe there are MANY jobs that I would be able to WORK in and be quite proficient at....but if I would LOVE to do them, is another story. I am just trying to stay away from getting caught in a job that is "just a job" and find unhappiness through that.:hu It is just REALLY tough because there is such a shortage of "SOLID FULL-TIME" jobs in my area that I live, and if I don't find something that will pay more than most jobs would be willing to pay...then I fear that I will be inviting MORE stress because then there will be "money troubles". So far....this is the highest paying job I could find around here. *Sighs* it almost seems that my fiancee is focusing on the "job" because it is the cause of our troubles....but what is it to say that if I were to switch and theoretically get a lower paying job, that "money" wont be the cause of our troubles next time?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.:cu

Sincerely,
David - by truesaxman
Here's the thing David, in life you get what you *ask* for. That's not a cliche that's a fact. This by the way is great news for anyone who knows what they want and how to ask and not so great news for everyone else.

When you build into the desired outcome for your life balance between home and work you're setting the stage for it's manifestation. (*Ask* and you shall receive.)

Would you be willing to invest $4.95 to watch an online video that could change the course of your life? Seriously.

If your answer is yes then here you go: http://thesecret.tv/ - by AZBroker
First off.....could you kindly clarify how the *ask* and you shall recieve piece of your advice, and how it directly relates to the core of my concerns?
And secondly.....I don't particularly follow on your last words.... I admit I only caught a glimpse considering I am on company time and it looks like a movie....how would this pertain to your advice?

Once again....thank you SINCERELY for your advice,

David - by truesaxman
the answer is NO. One of the best salesman i have ever met (best salesman in the company, out of over 800 people) lost his wife because she was unhappy. He then started to hate his job, walked out on day, tried to start his own business (took a second mortage on his house to do it) business failed in 3 months and now works for his dad........If positive attitude is such a big part of success, it is close to impossible to have a good attitude if you spouse is not supportive.
you asked "I am just worried that if I transfer to a lower paying job (which are plentiful in my area):sa , would I just be creating an additional stress while solving the other?"
The answer is maybe, but you cannot get married and have a successful marriage if she is not supportive, because in sales you don't magically start working less and stay successful...... either get a new spouse or new job??? that is just my opipion... - by benjamin-benjamin
A job can easily break up a marriage if your partner is having problems with you having the job. I think that you should ask the partner what the problem is and what you can chance so that she would accept it. - by jimberan
AZ,
First off.....could you kindly clarify how the *ask* and you shall recieve piece of your advice, and how it directly relates to the core of my concerns?
And secondly.....I don't particularly follow on your last words.... I admit I only caught a glimpse considering I am on company time and it looks like a movie....how would this pertain to your advice?

Once again....thank you SINCERELY for your advice,

David
As I undertand your post you would be interested in a job that doesn't cause problems at home, meets your financial requirements, and wasn't "just a job" if you could find it. I pointed out that you get what you *ask* for so ask for that. How do you *ask*? That's where the video comes in. ;wi - by AZBroker
My answer is a firm "maybe." Why?

Because if you are so full of turmoil, it is most likely because there is a bit missing from your relationship. A bit neither of you realizes! My advice therefore, is to go buy the book Love & Respect. Now, I will admit that there is a bit of Christian worldview in it, and while that sits quite nicely with me, it may not sit so well with you. However, even if thatís not your worldview, I promise that the book will still be worth the read; just look past the Biblical references. I can tell you that this book did miracles in my marriage. It uncovered a communications gap neither of us realized existed, and we thought we had a pretty good marriage to begin with!

Good luck,

Bill - by Bill_Kistner
Tough call.

The job is supporting you and your fiancee, and it sounds like similar jobs aren't that readily available. It also sounds like you really like the job, stress and all.

What does your finacee plan to do after she graduates? At that point do the two of you plan on staying in the area?

My suggestion would be to compromise. Keep the job with the idea that after she graduates, you'll have the ability to look for other jobs that suit you both financially and emotionally. The time spent at the job now is great training, and the longer time spent at it looks better on your resume.

It sounds like the time spent on the job itself isn't the real problem. I suspect you need to learn to leave work at work. Stressing out about your job when you are away from it isn't good for you, or your job.

(Disclaimer: This advice was free. Remember, advice is worth what you pay for it.);st

Pam - by LadySmith
I left a job a few years back without having another job on the horizon. The people I worked for were horrible and it wass making me o miserable, it was negatively impacting all my relationships. It's always hard to say 'damn the money', but you'll be better off making a little less and enjoying life a little more.

Susan - by susana
Every day spent in turmoil is another day "spent". Have you looked outside of your immediate area for employment opportunties? - by Jolly Roger
I know someone who left a toxic corporate work environment last year, and has been working on projects since. She plans to be self-employed now, working on contracts for a few weeks or months at a time.

I think I can see the difference in her appearance because of the lower stress level.

Finding the balance between money and how you really want to spend your life is a topic that constantly comes up where I work.

Best of luck to us all. :thup - by Ricardo
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