Jorel,
Since we really aren’t getting anywhere with this conversation, let me finish by addressing a couple of things you’ve brought up:
Of course, a low energy level doesn’t mean a bad mood. People have different energy levels. On a scale of 1 to 10, one person may have a natural energy level of say 4 or 5, another a natural level of 8 or 9. Just because someone’s natural level is a 4 doesn’t mean they are in a bad mood.
“Why the animosity? So because others believe it to be true you do also? Many people believed the world was flat many centuries ago, but that has been proved wrong, so the reasoning because others do does not sit well with me. Many parents agree with they ask little Johnny if he would jump off the broklyn bridge just because his friend has. "
If you will read what I said, I said “based on my experience.” That isn’t believing it because someone else said it—there is no “reasoning because others do.”
"And instead of having an open mind and helping people you tell them act like themselves. Instead of doing something that will has been scientifically proven to create more happiness in the individual in both their business and personal life you pigeon hole them and tell them to act like themselves instead of being the most they can be.”
What in the world is wrong with being oneself? Why does someone have to act like someone else in order to be happy? Where has it been scientifically proven that by acting like someone else people are happier? Your logic, I’m afraid is beyond me.
You’ve moved from our original discussion of taking on a persona that isn’t yours to learning new skills. Certainly, people can and should learn new skills. That isn’t putting on an act, trying to act like someone they are not. Learning a new skill is learning a new skill. Trying to be someone you’re not is not learning a new skill, it is acting—taking on a false character to impress—manipulate—someone into believing you are something you’re not. Yes, I don’t think that a wise move. I advocate honesty in a sales relationship, not trying to get what you want by being what you think the prospect wants you to be.
And since you have chosen to attack my coaching two or three times—which, by the way, you knowing about since we’ve never discussed my coaching philosophy, I’ll address that also. When someone hires me as their coach, they know exactly what they’re getting. I make sure any new client knows what my coaching philosophy is, and what I expect from them in the coaching relationship--and I understand what they expect from me.
There are as many different coaching styles as there are coaches.
If they are looking for a warm, fuzzy feeling with their coach, I’m not the coach for them.
If they are looking for someone that will only pat them on the back without holding them accountable, I’m not the coach for them.
If they are looking for someone who won’t push them and demand their best effort, I’m not the coach for them.
If they want someone who is going to teach, encourage, and help, but also offer the occasional kick in the rear, hold their feet to the fire when they don’t do what they’ve committed to do, and who will demand they live up to their potential, then we have something to talk about.
Once the client has set their definition of success and what it is they want to accomplish, we work out a plan to get there and once they have committed to the plan, I hold them to it. I’m not Nurse Rached, but I’m not Mr. Whipple either. My job is to help them get where they want to go as they define it. If that means being the heavy, then I’m the heavy. If it means teaching them new skills, I teach. If it means patting them on the back for a job well done, I pat them on the back. In virtually every coaching relationship, all of the above come into play.
If they want that warm, fuzzy, the world is wonderful and you can do no wrong coach, they can find that person out there. Those coaches exist. My clients hire me to help them become the success they want to be—that’s my job. They don’t hire me to be their good, nice alter ego.
I am not interested in helping them find themselves or discover who they are. That isn’t sales coaching, that’s the playground of a psychologist or life coach. I’m interested in helping them become successful in sales. Part of that is, on occasion, helping them integrate their sales business with their life outside of selling. That is more a time and priority function than a life discovery function.
Do I take on everyone who calls me about coaching? No. Some don’t want my kind of coaching. That’s fine. We wouldn’t work well together and we’d both be frustrated. So, they move on to finding another coach. Some of the people I speak with decide my coaching isn’t for them; others I speak to I decide won’t fit within my coaching style so I’ll decline their offer to hire me.
It’s a simple process, Jorel. If you don’t like my coaching style, you simply don’t hire me. After our interview, if I don’t you’ll work within my coaching style, I won’t work with you. Very simple. Both parties know exactly where the other stands and each knows what the other expects.
And, by the way, I can apologize for upsetting you even though I haven't done anything wrong. It's an old-fashioned concept called courtesy.
