Networking Skills

Originally Posted by Gary Boye If a person has problems with naturally relating to others, he/she shouldn't be in selling.

That sounds remarkable close in concept to this recent post:

Originally Posted by McMann and Tate If you spend all of your time trying to "learn" sales techniques, you'll look forced and unnatural. Look for work that better suits your temperament. A true salesman is born, not made.

Originally Posted by MagicMan That sounds remarkable close in concept to this recent post:

"I've said it before--when you try to instutionalize things that should be natural, you spend your time avoiding success." -- Gary

My interpretation is that some things should not be institutionalized according to Gary - things he says should be natural [relating to the original post having to do with referral getting and so called networking events] - which doesn't include all things, those things that are learned, institutionalized.

Comments?

Originally Posted by MagicMan That sounds remarkable close in concept to this recent post:

I think if anyone felt the need to do so, he/she could take the time to find, and extract, sentences, out of context, in these forums that could resemble some things that McMann and Tate said. What the purpose of that would be I haven't a clue.

How about you, MagicMan? Are you a natural born salesman? I'm not.

What have you got to say about the topic of networking skills?

My personal belief is that relating to others doesn't come as naturally as some might think. Could this be why they teach children "how to get along with others" in kindergarten? Could this be why more employees lose their job for failing to deal with people successfully than failure to do the work?

In my opinion, relating to others can be "learned" just like sales techniques can be "learned" and shouldn't preclude an individual from engaging in the profession of sales.

Originally Posted by MagicMan My personal belief is that relating to others doesn't come as naturally as some might think. Could this be why they teach children "how to get along with others" in kindergarten? Could this be why more employees lose their job for failing to deal with people successfully than failure to do the work? In my opinion, relating to others can be "learned" just like sales techniques can be "learned" and shouldn't preclude an individual from engaging in the profession of sales.

I agree with all of that.

We use the word "natural" and it's easy to think of it as meaning instinctive, or born with, or hardwired. In these discussions I'm polarizing, I think. I probably am equating unnatural to artificial.

Originally Posted by Gary Boye I agree with all of that. We use the word "natural" and it's easy to think of it as meaning instinctive, or born with, or hardwired. In these discussions I'm polarizing, I think. I probably am equating unnatural to artificial.

Then to polarize "natural" it is to be authentic or genuine?

"man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network." -- Gary


To be liked, to be approved of, to help someone, to avoid pain, to seek pleasure, all those kid feelings and more in a man - realizing that helps me network which means to me - to meet people.

Originally Posted by MitchM "man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network." -- Gary To be liked, to be approved of, to help someone, to avoid pain, to seek pleasure, all those kid feelings and more in a man - realizing that helps me network which means to me - to meet people.

Mitch, what I actually said was:

I don't know why, but we members of the selling community have attempted to institutionalize things too much. What once was companionship and friendship and man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network.

MagicMan's words ring true. Perhaps a sense of altruism isn't inherent as I imply with "willingness and desire to help others". I've read inconclusive opinions on it in the past.


Selling is a business. I make my own business decisions. I continue not to work any structured networking plan. And I continue not to ask for referrals.

We all have to make our own decisions in our sales careers ultimately. The value of a forum like this is that there are people here that will share their thoughts about decisions they have made and the results they have obtained. Others seem to only ask questions as if they are looking for a magic formula--or an answer that is consistent with their preconceptions. And some visit forums like this to post their affirmations.

Originally Posted by Gary Boye Mitch, what I actually said was: I don't know why, but we members of the selling community have attempted to institutionalize things too much. What once was companionship and friendship and man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network. MagicMan's words ring true. Perhaps a sense of altruism isn't inherent as I imply with "willingness and desire to help others". I've read inconclusive opinions on it in the past. Selling is a business. I make my own business decisions. I continue not to work any structured networking plan. And I continue not to ask for referrals. We all have to make our own decisions in our sales careers ultimately. The value of a forum like this is that there are people here that will share their thoughts about decisions they have made and the results they have obtained. Others seem to only ask questions as if they are looking for a magic formula--or an answer that is consistent with their preconceptions. And some visit forums like this to post their affirmations.

I'm in a structured networking group - BNI [Business Networking International] which I've been a part of on and off five years. It's been a business benifit and I've learned some things from it.

The only reason I'd continue to visit a forum like this is because people share their thoughts about the things they do, the decisions they've made as you say. If this place became a place of simply posturing, avoiding questions, just asking questions with no conversation - why come.

I've been her a short while by invitation - I like it. This seems to be a place where people say what's on their mind that we can all benefit from if we get into the conversation.

These forums can be instructive and fun to pass some time away on between big sales.

I would have to say ask a great deal of questions. Control the conversation by getting the other person to talk about themselves. This will a) Get the other person more comfortable with you. b) Give you information about that person so you can find out their needs and goals. c) Opens up doors to product/service/business.