Networking Skills

I'd be interested in learning more about Networking skills. Does anyone have any advice on the subject or know of any articles I could read? -BossMan

One of my favorite "tips" comes from the book "Power Networking".

The tip is "Give up the lone ranger mentality". A mentality that might have sound footing in the phrase, "If you want a job done right, do it yourself."

When I was a kid I often hear the phrase, "No man is an island." Too bad it took me so long to figure that one out. ;) -Jolly Roger

When I was a kid networking came naturally unnatural for me - I met other kids on the playground, in trees [precomputer days], at dances and parties, and at sport's events. Sometimes I networked shyly and other times half boldly. Motivation was adventure, friendship, girls, belonging, girls, something to do, and more girls.

I was full of fear. Fear is a survival instinct - fear of people, places, situations so it's a good thing - so I had to learn how to network over fear. That could be daunting to the point of withdrawl.

I believe most people grow up with some of that kid networking awkwardness still with them - they put on fronts and styles and attitudes but inside it's still naturally unnatural for most people. And then there is fear.

Knowing that is important. Admitting that about yourself is important. Knowing that most other people feel the same way is important. This knowledge opens the door for further inside information about the nature and potential of networking. -MitchM

Excellent insight. Thanks Mitch. :) -AZBroker

How about a "How-to-Network" article or tutorial. Does anyone know/have something like that? -Calvin

I suspect, Calvin that's it like the old joke answer to someone asking directions: "you can't get there from here."

Mitch, in his post, provided the map if one looks deep enough. Start at the word, "natural".

I don't know why, but we members of the selling community have attempted to institutionalize things too much. What once was companionship and friendship and man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network. -Gary Boye

I have to admit that I need all the help I can get. :o -Calvin

Hi,

There's a guy in Atlanta (although he works nationally from what I can tell) named Brian Hilliard. The company is Agito Consulting. He spoke about networking at one of our local Chamber meetings, and he seemed pretty sharp.

If you sign up for his newsletter, you can take advantage of his "open mic" offer where you can call him to discuss an issue for ~20 minutes.
Open Mic: http://agitoconsulting.com/default.aspx?PID=1705

There are also some free resources on his site, including some info about what he calls Networking like a Pro: http://agito.solarvelocity.com/Page204.aspx

Hope that helps.

Kathleen -KSA-Mktg

Thanks for the info info Kathleen. Very helpful. :) -BossMan

I think the key to networking is investing time getting to know the other person. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is to dominate the conversation during an event. Instead of dominating the conversation and trying to sell someone on your product/service, show interest in the other person. Look for ways you can help them, and most importantly, find ways to keep in touch with them. When you help other people get what they want, they'll be more willing to help you.

It's been said already - be yourself, be natural, and relax.

Cheers!
Kelley -Kelley Robertson

Well put Kelley. Quick and to the point. :) -Vince

When I've been to networking activities - for example a Chamber After Hours or TGIF - I've been amused and distressed and illuminated simultaniously at the superficial and shallowness of so many conversations. The real challenge for me was to find people willing to meet outside that box - perhaps that box is the expectation of such events - and be genuine in a relationship.

Any comments or experiences of this sort? -MitchM

Mitch,

I have a close business associate who is a master networker. I don't say that lightly, because, personally, I don't do much networking--but I'm in awe.

He doesn't attend any networking events. He knows a lot of people, is family oriented, and plays golf because he's a very good golfer. He also has some pet charities that he helps. He always can be counted on for a favor.

We work on a lot of joint projects. I get a lot of referrals. As a matter of fact, I derive more business from referrals from past customers than anyone I have ever known. I never ask for a referral.

I've said it before--when you try to instutionalize things that should be natural, you spend your time avoiding success. -Gary Boye

"I've said it before--when you try to instutionalize things that should be natural, you spend your time avoiding success." -- Gary

I've been more aware of that the past few years than in the past - what should be natural in this sense in it's institutionalization becomes superficial and flat or doing business for the wrong reasons, mostly.

De you have a way of describing or illustrating a master networker, Gary, or is your close business associate's description enough? -MitchM

I used "master networker" for lack of a better term. I don't socialize with him or share many common interests. But I do see the results and I know he doesn't attend networking functions because he has voiced disapproval of them. Similar to yours. -Gary Boye

Any chance of you posting a thread on obtaining referrals Gary? :) -Jackie

I would like to--but I'm not sure I can do the topic justice. I like to put things in formulaic terms and I can't say I have any conclusions about why I get so many referrals.

I know it has to do with my manner and the way I sell. I know I instill confidence in a sales conversation. I'm a firm believer that referrals come as a result of the experience you create for a customer. But it's tough to point to one particular thing.

This much I will say--and it's kind of embarrassing to talk about myself this way--but it's the truth. I sell differently than most people sell. I'm a consumer. I buy things. I buy clothes, cars, insurance. I can't help but notice things and say to myself I would never do this or that.

I think personal warmth is extremely important. I'm very warm with people. More so as I've gotten older. But I don't patronize and I don't pet goldfish. I treat prospects as if they are my customer--up to a point. At that point, I have ways to get the message across that they can only assume ownership by buying. So--people take me seriously.

Hope that helps but it probably doesn't. -Gary Boye

Unfortunately, what seems "natural" to one person is anything but "natural" to another. ;) -MagicMan

How Gary's quote speake to me is that when you put together a networking event, an after hours event with the intention of, "Hey people, let's just get together and munchie and brewskie and listen and talk and get to know each other and network and be friends and smile and get inside scoops so we can help each other and make connections and do more business." that institutionalizing of what should comes natural makes for a superficial business situation.

It may be my own awkwardness at these that's speaking - purely subjective - I see happy people at the few I've been to and I've heard they get good connections and do business.

Comparison: I joined a fraternity for a year and the institutionalizing of fellowship and friendship with all the hazing and boozing [it was a social frat] and pecking orders was obvious to me at that young age and I lasted only a year.

Years later I met with some old TKE frauters and every one had the same experience. I know others have a different experience - but when I've been to a networking event staged for the purpose of social/business connections it feels much like frat days - unnatural to me. -MitchM

I don't think that's unfortunate. Everybody's unique. But most people have a way they bond and form relationships and friendships. I don't think those ways need structuring by others, unless there were circumstances where they needed counseling for behavour problems, etc.

If a person has problems with naturally relating to others, he/she shouldn't be in selling. -Gary Boye

That sounds remarkable close in concept to this recent post: -MagicMan

"I've said it before--when you try to instutionalize things that should be natural, you spend your time avoiding success." -- Gary

My interpretation is that some things should not be institutionalized according to Gary - things he says should be natural [relating to the original post having to do with referral getting and so called networking events] - which doesn't include all things, those things that are learned, institutionalized.

Comments? -MitchM

I think if anyone felt the need to do so, he/she could take the time to find, and extract, sentences, out of context, in these forums that could resemble some things that McMann and Tate said. What the purpose of that would be I haven't a clue.

How about you, MagicMan? Are you a natural born salesman? I'm not.

What have you got to say about the topic of networking skills? -Gary Boye

My personal belief is that relating to others doesn't come as naturally as some might think. Could this be why they teach children "how to get along with others" in kindergarten? Could this be why more employees lose their job for failing to deal with people successfully than failure to do the work?

In my opinion, relating to others can be "learned" just like sales techniques can be "learned" and shouldn't preclude an individual from engaging in the profession of sales. -MagicMan

I agree with all of that.

We use the word "natural" and it's easy to think of it as meaning instinctive, or born with, or hardwired. In these discussions I'm polarizing, I think. I probably am equating unnatural to artificial. -Gary Boye

Then to polarize "natural" it is to be authentic or genuine? -MitchM

"man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network." -- Gary


To be liked, to be approved of, to help someone, to avoid pain, to seek pleasure, all those kid feelings and more in a man - realizing that helps me network which means to me - to meet people. -MitchM

Mitch, what I actually said was:

I don't know why, but we members of the selling community have attempted to institutionalize things too much. What once was companionship and friendship and man's human nature effecting an inherent willingness and desire to help others, we now seek in books that tell us to network.

MagicMan's words ring true. Perhaps a sense of altruism isn't inherent as I imply with "willingness and desire to help others". I've read inconclusive opinions on it in the past.


Selling is a business. I make my own business decisions. I continue not to work any structured networking plan. And I continue not to ask for referrals.

We all have to make our own decisions in our sales careers ultimately. The value of a forum like this is that there are people here that will share their thoughts about decisions they have made and the results they have obtained. Others seem to only ask questions as if they are looking for a magic formula--or an answer that is consistent with their preconceptions. And some visit forums like this to post their affirmations. -Gary Boye

I'm in a structured networking group - BNI [Business Networking International] which I've been a part of on and off five years. It's been a business benifit and I've learned some things from it.

The only reason I'd continue to visit a forum like this is because people share their thoughts about the things they do, the decisions they've made as you say. If this place became a place of simply posturing, avoiding questions, just asking questions with no conversation - why come.

I've been her a short while by invitation - I like it. This seems to be a place where people say what's on their mind that we can all benefit from if we get into the conversation.

These forums can be instructive and fun to pass some time away on between big sales. -MitchM

I would have to say ask a great deal of questions. Control the conversation by getting the other person to talk about themselves. This will a) Get the other person more comfortable with you. b) Give you information about that person so you can find out their needs and goals. c) Opens up doors to product/service/business. -wlctrent

Hi There,


Networking is the most effective way to build a responsive profitable sales funnel. I thought you might be interested in this 3 part series I wrote on networking.

Cheers, Colleen -Colleen Francis

Sales techniques can certainly be learned; however warmth, humor and passion can't be. I've seen many people learn the way to do a sales call, but lack the above, as well as empathy. Customers do want to buy from people they like.

Susan -susana

I agree. Just today I gave business to vendor B because I "disliked" the salesperson I was talking with at vendor A. -AZBroker

Just because of the salesperson? What kind of business was it? -Agent Smith

I called to schedule a service appointment for one of our cars this morning and the lady in the service department was very unprofessional in my opinion. It torqued me the wrong way so I said thank you anyway and called someone else. I've been having my vehicles serviced at that dealership for years and will most likely continue to do so but they missed the boat today. I'm sure they didn't miss my business since the service bill was only $1500 but that is my $1500 and I'll decide where to spend it. I'm still trying to decide if it was her tone or the fact that she called me "hon" that got me sideways. -AZBroker

If all else was equal I do believe the customer would prefer to buy from a saleperson he/she liked. I also believe that this distinction is often lost in translation.

Example: All else is equal [Same car, same deal, same dealership.]

• I will buy the car but I won't buy it from John. I do not like him and never have. I want Susan to help me instead.

Example: All else is not equal [Jane's experience is lacking.]

• I really like Jane, she's my wonderful niece, but she's new to real estate and I don't feel comfortable putting my multi-million dollar property in her hands.

-SalesGuy

I know several salespeople that successfully prospect on the golf course and at trade association meetings. However, they don’t do schmoozing and glad handing; they are overt about their sales intentions. That can hardly be compared to what most people think of as “networking.”

A few people have told me about a major sale that they made by networking. However, when questioned about the return on the investment of their time, they agreed that it is (overall) a losing proposition.

I have never heard of any company that has salaried salespeople and advocates that they spend their selling time doing networking.

Of all the sales and marketing activities that I know of, networking is the least effective and least productive. -JacquesWerth

Quote:

Of all the sales and marketing activities that I know of, networking is the least effective and least productive.

Yikes. When you say "networking" what are you referring to? -AZBroker

I tend to agree with that. However, I have witnessed at very close range two people who have enjoyed phenomenal sales success (leaders of the pack) relying almost solely on networking. I am not inferring a connection, but in both cases they are almost completely functionally illiterate, have weak presentation skills, and are very self absorbed---three traits that would seem detrimental to selling. On the plus side, both have an interest and an aptitude for absorbing an inordinate amount of product knowledge.

I have to say I was in awe of the results they obtained through networking. However, I've been around enough salespeople to believe that networking success is very rare. -Gary Boye

The most successful salespeople I know are "well connected". ;wi -AZBroker

I don't suppose you are a member of BNI? ;st -Agent Smith

Even though I'm in BNI AND have been with one network marketing company ten years, I'd have to agree with Jacques on this. My success with network marketing [and BNI] has more to do with learning how to conduct myself in a conventional sales manner and teaching others how to do that along with a system of training and information exposure we use.

The biggest challenge I see in network marketing is amateurs trying to be successful with insufficient training -- the biggest challenge I see in networking in general is getting over lots of BS and useless social events.

There have been some very successful people in BNI though and they've done it by offering services people either want or don't want - so I'd say it's not the networking but the sixty second sound byte that works, not the pats on the back and coffee.

MitchM -MitchM

Are you agreeing to Jacques statement, "Of all the sales and marketing activities that I know of, networking is the least effective and least productive"?
-Agent Smith

"I'd have to agree with Jacques on this" -- MitchM


I'd have to qualify this statement - I'm not exactly sure what I JW means by networking nor have I had his experience in sales to be able to compare "all sales and marketing activities" with networking.

Having said that, if networking means conversing at Chamber events, spreading the news through the grapeving of what I do/have/sell/promote, if networking means letting people know of my products and visa versa in the hopes that this becomes word-of-mouth advertising bringing me business, if JW and I were to agree with those things I'd agree fully with his statement from my experiences and the experiences of others I've seen.

The network marketing of what I do which is called network marketing is the creation of a distribution network BUT the most successful people I've watched now in creating their networks - in networking - have gone about it in what I'd call a sales way meaning making lots of phone and one-on-one contacts to tell people about something and ask if it's something they want to look at.

MitchM -MitchM

Jacques can you clarify what you mean by networking? -Agent Smith

Mitch you mentioned you were a member of BNI. What meaning does BNI assign to "Networking"? -Houston

Ivan Misner is the founder of this franchise Business Networking International - the motto is "givers gain" and by educating each other about what we sell then asking for specific referals we become an outside sales force for every one.

In our group the man who does home repairs always gets referrals as does the man who runs an auto repair shop. The financial advisor has done very well as has the carpet cleaner. The Mary Kay rep does well. The woman who works for a furnature store and the mad who is in commercial real estate don't get much business.

So the purpose of BNI is to educate one another and pass referrals. I have mixed feelings about it - it's payed off for me and I've made some good contacts for work and things I need, but it hasn't paid off for me as well as others.

MitchM -MitchM

Of all the sales and marketing activities that hardly sounds like the least effective and least productive... at least for the home repair and auto repair shop guys. :) -Houston

But it may not be as effective as other ways to market - I have never asked them.

Mike -MitchM

That's a far cry from, "Of all the sales and marketing activities that I know of, networking is the least effective and least productive". Wouldn't you say Mike? -Houston

This maybe a comparison of apples and oranges -- I don't know JW's definiton of networking and I've already said that in my definition it's the sales model or asking people if they need, want and can afford what you have that works in so called networking situations.

BNI uses "networking" in a uinque situation - likewise, networking as in hanging out with Chanber members at a TGIF is unique - likewise network marketing is uinque - so to say this or that is a far cry misses the point.

What are you trying to say, Houston?

Mike -MitchM

Actually the topic was about Networking Skills, not about whether networking is a worthwhile pursuit. The only one that addressed the topic was Colleen in her articles. If anybody is not clear on what networking is, I think her articles do a good job of describing the skills, which, in turn, could help form a working defintion.

Kudos to Colleen for the informative and instructional articles. -Gary Boye

I wasn't trying to say anything more than what I posted Mike. Yes, this may be a comparision of apples and oranges. -Houston

Some people say that over 80% of ALL jobs are obtained through networking. ;om -Liberty

That's the kind of networking that I'm talking about. When you recommend a restaurant to a friend you are networking. -Houston

When Mitch says he does “Network Marketing,” he is using industry jargon to describe what is primarily face-to-face prospecting and recruiting. Please note that he is one of the exceptional successes in an industry where less than three percent of the “distributors” (more industry jargon) earn more than the legal minimum wage.

If you have been a member of a Networking Group for more than six months, you may have noticed that there is a group of regulars that shows up for most meetings. Then, there are many more who drop out after a few months or seldom show up.

You may have also noticed that those that show up a lot tend to be talkative, assertive and socially adept. They genuinely enjoy Networking.

If you were to ask each member how many hours per year they invest in Networking and how many dollars of income they received for that time, assuming what they tell you is factual, most of them would be earning around the legal minimum wage or less. However, if they just keep on Networking ...

Hope and Optimism are not viable strategies.

You might want to know why I believe all of this. It is because my company has trained hundreds of ex-Networkers to prospect and sell efficiently, effectively and enjoyably. And, they don’t go back to Networking.

No, I do not have valid statistics to back up my belief.
Yes, of course, my opiniom is biased. -JacquesWerth

I am sure that a high percentage of job are obtained through networking. I doubt that it is actually that high.

If your are a skilled salesperson you should be able to get several good job offers, within a couple of months, using your prospecting and selling skills.

If you can find my web site, there is an article titled "Finding the Sales Job That You Want." It is in the Free Articles section. -JacquesWerth

I think there is much validity to that. But I don't think that it occurs that often as an act of volition. All of us are in networks of one form or another, often by default. It's part of a cultural structure. That doesn't mean necessarily that those structures are formed by proactively networking.

For instance, there are a lot of stockbrokers that became successful because of their networks derived from family, social status, schooling, and the environment they were born into. That doesn't mean they actively networked. They used what they had, and these networks have a tendency to evolve exponentially. -Gary Boye

Ask the experts on the subject and I am confident most of them will agree that "Networking" is about "Mutually Beneficial Relationships".

Research the top business people throughout history and I am confident you will discover that most of them are/were very well "Connected".

If your net isn't working don't blame it on "Networking". ;wi -Agent Smith

I would recommend reading "Networking Magic" by Rick Frishman and Jill Lubin. -MagicMan

Jacques is correct about the 3% in network marketing who earn most of the income [above minumum wage as he put it] and our company is no exception to that. Our CEO talks about being in the 5% who earn the incomes and that many people join a company like ours for other reasons than earning a five+ figure income.

He's also correct that network marketing is typically face-to-face prospecting though many today buy leads lists, advertise in the classifieds and run radio ads - we've done all of that and it's been investing money in these things that has helped us build a business. When I first met Jacques on another forum I was intrigued by some of the things he had to say about selling and as I began to do some of the things he suggested no only did my business improve buy so did my confidence.
--------------------------
"I think there is much validity to that. But I don't think that it occurs that often as an act of volition. All of us are in networks of one form or another, often by default. It's part of a cultural structure. That doesn't mean necessarily that those structures are formed by proactively networking.

For instance, there are a lot of stockbrokers that became successful because of their networks derived from family, social status, schooling, and the environment they were born into. That doesn't mean they actively networked. They used what they had, and these networks have a tendency to evolve exponentially." -- Gary

I have little experience in this arena of networking - rather, my social, family, schooling networks have been sparsely populated mostly by choice - I'm a loner mostly and not into networking as in lots of association activity or Chamber kinds of events. BUT what I've tried to understand and see around me confirms what Gary says to my limited experience and observations. That is, the people I watch network into exponentially potent business organizations and ventures are the kind of people who don't necessarily network as a stragegy but rather take advantage of their networks that have evolved "naturally" rather than contrived. -MitchM

Mitch, networking is much more than "association activity" or "chamber events". Networking is establishing and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships. These relationships can start while sitting next to someone in an airplane, being introduced to someone at a wedding, being referred to by an associate, or as you mentioned... an association activity or chamber event. -Liberty

I understand that, liberty - half of my business has come that way. My post was in reference to another post's definitions of networking - being a good listener and communicator and being interested in people has all kinds of advantages and value in life. I've also seen what's been termed "relationshipping" to be highly over rated and actually a negative in sales growth - also, it can be deceptive.

MitchM -MitchM

What is "relationshipping"? -Liberty

Relationshipping is creating a relationship with the intention of using it for a business purpose - it's face-to-face prospecting only often disguised as getting to know someone and finding out things that can later be used for the business purpose. Often there's an insincerity in this like the car salesman who tries to be your best friend and family joker in five minutes.

I met a woman hiking a couple of months ago - she was taking care of the grounds of a local university and I stopped with the intention of telling her what I do - and it turned out her mom has a health concern, we got in touch, and Mom began using our products. That could be called a form of relationshipping.

It's not an efficient use of time but some people - rare though they are - are very good at face-to-face prospecting - call it a form of networking or relationshipping.

I have no other experience in sales as a profession so what I know is my own definitions from a combination of personal experiences and study.

MitchM -MitchM

Quote:

Networking is establishing and maintaining

That is the key to networking... mutually beneficial relationships. -Agent Smith

I took the car in for a tire check, started a conversation with a guy wearing Harley gear about bikes, told him about all the mopeds in Malaysia and why I went there, he asked about our nutritional products, I told him our story, he said he and his wife have arthritis [and she has migraines] and he wants to know more about it since they both have arthritis and she gets migraines, I gave him a business card and he gave me mine saying they'd call us, I told him we'd call in a day or so if we haven't heard and he said that would be fine because they are "open and looking."

I heard Zig Ziglar say that sales is starting a conversation with a destination and that's what I did.

Maybe I should spend every day drinking so-so coffee and reading magazines in all the car dealorships and repair shops around town, huh?

Mike -MitchM

How would that relate to Networking? :hu -Agent Smith

I call it networking - I also call it prospecting.

Mike -MitchM

Mike, as a former teacher can you see how your use of "my own definitions" can be a source of misunderstanding when communicating with others? -Houston

Hi Houston - I know what you're saying - I've read dozens of networking, prospecting, marketing definitions - so what to do?

MitchM -MitchM

Sales is a "communication" business people. ;tmt -Calvin

Get agreement on the meaning of words being used in the conversation. To continue to talk about "orange" as if it were "red" in a conversation about "red" is less than desirable. -Houston

You're right, Houston - forum posts and emails are the worse ways to get that agreement which is why I continually instruct our network of distributors to get on the phone and talk, clarify, listen and probe and clarify more.

What I've found on these forums are lots of people with agendas they either want to forward or dispositions that are less inclined toward agreement in terms and more inclined toward proving a point, one upping someone, and disparaging others for the sake of their argument.

Forums are funny places.

MitchM -MitchM

Word-only communications like forum posts and emails are easy to misconstrue. -Houston

Very easy to misconstrue. Also, I've found many people who love a heated debate or argumentative conversation - once upon a time I enjoyed that but not today - no time for that.

I'm not looking for agreement but a conversation that is moving toward clarity and mutuality void of the "heated debate" or argumentative elements is what I have time for today.

The best to you, Houston.

MitchM -MitchM

I'm in the same boat. The best to you Mike. ;sm -Houston

Someone recently posted a couple of links to business networking organizations and I investigated these links. Ultimately, I called the regional representative of one of these organizations and had a lengthy discussion with him about the value of his organization to my business. He offered me one gem of networking that I will share with you.

Networking is a trust relationship and trust builds with consistent cultivation over time. This organization requires weekly attendance at its meetings and members can be dropped for failing to maintain required attendance. They believe that in order for networking to work, they must meet their network members regularly and this particular organization maintains its strong record in this field by establishing this requirement in organizational policy. -rlabston