Relationship Selling

By Sam Manfer


Relationship selling is all about win-win. A professional relationship will be established when each party feels the benefit for themselves. Without win-win, or without the perception of receiving something from each other, there is no need for a professional relationship. Both sides have to get something.

Relationship selling are professional relationships. This means that the c-level and senior executives you would like to be close with want to receive from you benefits, results, etc. that help them with their job. If you can show an executive how to improve productivity and because of this he gets recognition, kudos, maybe a promotion, this executive has won. Wins are what executives want or what anybody wants. Unlike social relationships, professional relationships deliver results, or knowledge that can help executives with their job. If you do this and the executive wins, the bond between you will become very strong and you will be able to depend on this individual to help you make more sales. That's relationship selling.

Relationships Selling vs. Social Relationships

Most sales people get relationship selling mixed up with social relationships. Other than the ability to communicate with each other effectively, there is no need for outside the office interaction. It is nice to do, but your executive will feel more like he is doing you a favor than the other way around when you take him to lunch or golfing or out to dinner. They want you because you can help him with his job, which is the really important aspect of his life. The other social stuff he can do himself if it is important to him and with the people he loves to be with. Even if you become one of those people he loves to be with and something goes wrong with what you are suppose to deliver to him professionally, he will drop you professionally. I don’t care if you’re the Godfather to his children. It’s his career or you. You do the math.

Besides, there is always the shadow of the vendor client roles at play with any relationship selling. There is an undertone that exists cautioning the client not to let loose and holding back the vendor from pushing. The undertone, again is the job and fear of improprieties that could jeopardize the job/career. Treat social events as a thank you for doing business with you. They are nothing more than that.

What really happens in social events is that the client gets to know you and starts developing a sense of trust in you. Trust is the secret. Trust that you can deliver what this person needs to win. If he doesn’t trust you he won’t buy. Even if he doesn’t like you, but trust you he could buy, not the other way around.

Therefore getting the executive to trust that you can deliver is what will open the door for relationship selling. So ask yourself what can you do, what can you show, how can you prove that you have capabilities and he should trust you. If there is any feeling that you can’t deliver what will help him professionally, there will be no relationship.

Relationship Selling - Your Client Believes You Can Get What He Wants

Relationships selling is all about getting in business what you want from the other person. Therefore, you have to know what that person wants that you can give. If you know this and can deliver it, you will develop a relationship. If you try to deliver something he doesn’t want or you can’t deliver what he does want, there will be no relationship. The more he associates you with his wins, the stronger the professional relationship. So consider, what will get me further, delivering career successes or ball game tickets. It’s OK to use the ball game to get started, but realize it's the start and move quickly to learning about what really matters. Actually the people most impressed with social events are the subordinates. Executives are more interested in their job and their careers. But, executives are where relationship selling will pay off and off and off.

About the Author Sam Manfer is a sales consultant and author with more than a decade of experience. Author of the book, “Take Me to Your Leaders,” Sam helps clients like Apple, Marriott and Fidelity develop customer relationships, improve sales and prospecting skills, and learn how to negotiate and communicate effectively. Previously, he held management positions with British Petroleum, Fisher Price Toys and Gemcor. To find out more about his speaking, consulting or book, visit www.sammanfer.com or call 949-364-6263.