Is that light at the end of the tunnel or is it a train coming at you?

TimConnor

By best selling author, Tim Connor, CSP

Can you stay optimistic and positive in the midst of discouragement?

Have you ever been discouraged or felt like you were at the bottom of the emotional barrel? Ever felt like no matter which way you turned or whatever you did it didn't matter? Well, I have on a number of occasions during the past 45 years and I can tell you, but those of you who have experienced this already know, that the world seems to be crashing in around you and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do to change your circumstances.



Well there is if you are willing to look, look deep, look hard and keep on looking until some answers finally come.



I believe discouragement is one of the most debilitating feelings or emotions that one can experience in life. The only one that comes close is fear. If you have never been discouraged bless you. If you are now - there's always hope and if you are not discouraged now, you now have a tool to use if at some point in your future life just seems to sabotage your every move.



Discouragement can prevent a person from seeing, thinking or feeling clearly. It certainly increases your stress and will impact every relationship you have regardless of whether it is personal or business. Trust me, I come from experience. I have been at the bottom of the barrel and on my knees more times than I can remember, but I always came out of whatever the situation or circumstances were with only a few permanent battle scars. One of my favorite authors, Eric Butterworth, says, "that in times of discouragement, fear, loneliness, uncertainty and frustration can come creativity and a number of learning or growth opportunities."



Years ago, I learned this first hand. I won't bore you with the gruesome details, suffice it to say that at a low point in my life with nowhere to turn I decided to write my first book of self-help fiction. That exercise saved me. The book is called The Ancient Scrolls and once it was finished I then went on to write over 45 more books. Writing that book during a time of turmoil was the catalyst that has led to my successful career as an author. Would I have written that book and thus many others if I had not redirected my pain into a creative endeavor? Who knows.



So, what can you do while in the middle of any kind of fear, pain, trouble or discouragement? Here are a few ideas to consider.



1. Spend one hour creating a list of everything you are thankful for. You could always start with: food to eat, air to breathe and water to drink. See if you can get to 100. Then review different segments of your list every day.

2. Start a good stuff jar. Anything that makes you feel good, successful, worthwhile or appreciated goes in it. Things like notes from friends, special pictures. I put copies of checks from clients in mine.

3. Start a journal if you haven't yet. Write in it every day. Anything you want - it's your journal and you don't have to show it to anyone.

4. Read a passage in a self-help book every day.

5. Talk with friends who love and support you no matter what.

6. Avoid negative and pessimistic people. Stay away from complainers and whiners.

7. Set some long term goals. Don't limit your thinking because of the circumstances you may be in now.

8. Pray a lot.

9. Think back on previous times in your life when you were discouraged and see if you can find the good that ultimately came to you after the negative circumstances passed.

10. Ask yourself - What can I learn form this? What am I supposed to be learning from this?

11. Relax.

12. Start a new hobby or activity. In one of my bouts with discouragement I started taking ballroom dancing lessons. It helped.

13. Go for a hike in the woods or mountains. Take a walk in a park.

14. Get a pet.

15. Start exercising.

16. Focus on what you have and have accomplished and not what you haven't or is missing in your life.

17. File this tip away for future reference when you may need it down the road.

18. Remember, everything passes sooner or later. After the darkest night there is always a sunrise and a new beginning.

There are numerous other things you can do. Don't limit your thinking, but whatever you do, remember giving up doesn't solve anything. Becoming a permanent negative person because of your situation will only ensure the potential of more discouragement times in the future. Feeling sorry for yourself won't make things pass more quickly. Feeling self-pity will only guarantee that no one will want to be around you to help you.