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How do I close this one?

Can anyone help me out with this trick situation. I have only been an agent for 10 months, for the first time have come across a meddling mother in-law situation in the final moments of sale.
The story goes - I showed a couple a property - they loved it - put in an offer - offer accepted - following day wife calles and wants to show off her potentionally new home to the mother in law - mother in-law hates the property and is totally negative to everything to do with the place - we leave - later that night I get a phone call to say the wife is now unsure of the property and wants to see some more homes before they fully commit to buying as she now suddenly doesnt like the layout (mother inlaw said that too.. hmmmm) - but in all this the husband still loves the place. How do I smooth over the wife without insulting the mother in law thus loosing the sale? - by Realtor Agent
How do I smooth over the wife without insulting the mother in law thus loosing the sale?
Remind your client that she risks losing her earnest depost if she backs out of the contract. ;wi - by Houston
I doubt there is anything one can do to keep this sale intact.

In California USA, for example, the buyer has 17 days to do their discovery which virtually gives them the ability to back out of the deal for any reason and get their deposit back.

Chuck - by Sales Pro 1000
Can anyone help me out with this trick situation. I have only been an agent for 10 months, for the first time have come across a meddling mother in-law situation in the final moments of sale.
The story goes - I showed a couple a property - they loved it - put in an offer - offer accepted - following day wife calles and wants to show off her potentionally new home to the mother in law - mother in-law hates the property and is totally negative to everything to do with the place - we leave - later that night I get a phone call to say the wife is now unsure of the property and wants to see some more homes before they fully commit to buying as she now suddenly doesnt like the layout (mother inlaw said that too.. hmmmm) - but in all this the husband still loves the place. How do I smooth over the wife without insulting the mother in law thus loosing the sale?
Get her mother-in-law earrings (check the internet, it may work). - by Wonderboy
Get her mother-in-law earrings (check the internet, it may work).
How would these "mother-in-law earings" smooth over the wife without insulting the mother in law thus loosing the sale? - by AZBroker
I really think this one will need to be filed as a learning experience, but here's some input you'll hopefully find to be of value.

The final objection in a selling situation is present in the mind of the prospect at the beginning of the sales process. If you can find it during your discovery phase you can pre-empt it. In this case it was the meddling relative syndrome ... and it won't be the last time you're confronted by it.

Cast your mind back over the entire process and see if you can identify exactly when the mother in law's potential involvement was first raised. If it didn't come up at all, were there any clues that she could be lurking somewhere in the background. For example a young couple, or almost any buyer would be very highly likely to have someone in their life who could potentially veto their wishes, but if you don't find this out until after closing time you've got no chance for a sale.

It may be a parent, a friend, a mother-in-law, a financier, whoever, but forewarned is forearmed and if you know it's out there you empathetically factor that person into the way you go about selling and closing the deal.

So now think about when in the sales process is the best time and the best way to ascertain this vital piece of information...

I suggest it's when you're summarising discovery, before you've even looked at a property. Would it be hard to ask something like ... "John & Mary, just one more question, if I may? ... if I were to show you your dream home today, and it was nicely within your budget, ... is there anyone else you'd need to talk to before you decided to own it?

So if, as in your living breathing example, John and Mary are totally in love with the property and want to buy it right now, before committing it to contract you would simply ask if the absent 3rd party would feel about it as they do? ... and can they foresee any reason in the world why she/he may not be supportive?

You might even suggest they go pick her up so that she can look at it now! There's no doubt Mum will feel much more amenable to the deal if the kids are considerate enough to seek her opinion before they sign on the dotted line ... (indeed the fact they didn't do that in the 1st place may be the main reason she wasn't supportive)

You see, what you're really doing is strengthening their mutual resolve that this is what they really want to the point where they form a little pact together and it doesn't matter what the 3rd party thinks ... this is their dream home, they're going to be living in it and anyone else can go and get stuffed.

But of course some (not many, but some) mothers-in-law will, (notwithstanding the stars in the eyes of the kids) still feel their role in the relationship is to put the kibosh on anything that sounds like it might be fun!

But even if in this situation the MIL did squash the deal, she and the family would be strongly inclined to continue dealing with you because of the consideration you'd shown, and who knows, after looking at a couple more houses they may even come back around to the original property.
Cheers,
Tony ;sm - by Tony1905
Can anyone help me out with this trick situation. I have only been an agent for 10 months, for the first time have come across a meddling mother in-law situation in the final moments of sale.
The story goes - I showed a couple a property - they loved it - put in an offer - offer accepted - following day wife calles and wants to show off her potentionally new home to the mother in law - mother in-law hates the property and is totally negative to everything to do with the place - we leave - later that night I get a phone call to say the wife is now unsure of the property and wants to see some more homes before they fully commit to buying as she now suddenly doesnt like the layout (mother inlaw said that too.. hmmmm) - but in all this the husband still loves the place. How do I smooth over the wife without insulting the mother in law thus loosing the sale?
Does the mother in law have anything to do with the sale? Money? Is she living with them? This might be a crucial tidbit of information actually.

If not, I'd be trying to remind her of what she was loving about the house when they bought it. I'd be asking her how often her mother would be staying with them and what they could do to fix it up for her. It could be that the mother is just hurt she doesn't have control.

I hope you remembered why she loved it.

Much Aloha.... :cool: - by rattus58
Just go sell another house. This is just a complete waste of your vital/life energy.

The deal is done when the deal is done.

This deal isn't done...so either do another deal here or go about your business.

Do not dwell on this one. - by helisell
Tony I love your answer on this....finding out any potential roadblocks in the beginning is a crucial step to getting the sale. Unfortunately the Dominant decision maker appeared too late, and since she wasn't involved from the beginning, she is hell-bent on showing her authority. Move on, lesson learned. - by tmiller
Happiness is helping :)
Ya know, situations like this help to fine tune our skills; see them as learning experiences, move on, but don't forget them.
Use the opportunity to figure out the best way to minimise the chances of it happening again, and always look for the solution in the entire process.
All too often you see questions in the forum about how objections can be handled AFTER closing time, when in fact the best solutions are usually to be found long before you get to that.
Good luck for future success.
Cheers, Tony - by Tony1905
Hi Cecil here;sn;

Some good points raised here about finding out decision makers etc.
Always try to make sure you are talking to the decision makers.

The method I use is this "Mr Prospect, besides yourself, who else will be involved in the decision whether you will go ahead today"?
Now if they say well no-one else, then you say (delicately of course) you mean nobody else will be involved, not even a wife or children , cause normally someone else has to be involved. If the answer is still no, I make the decision, then you can say - so that means we could agree on this today, if you really wanted to?
However, in this case it's too late for that as the horse has bolted.

I think to just let it go and move on might be an option but then the mother in law would have won. Here is the point that someone else made - if the mother in law is buying the house for the couple, then she has a right to not like the property - that's only fair if she is paying all the money herself, she needs to know that her investment will be a wise one. However, if she has no financial input, then quite frankly,she shouldn't have a voice at all.
Here is a thought - Call the two people who had originally look at the property and say something along these lines.
"I am terribly sorry for not getting back to you sooner because I have been extremely busy and driving to work this morning I was thinking about your situation and you both love the house but your mother in law didn't - Can you remind me about that again"?

They may respond with something like she didn't like it.

You say well if I was your mother in law and I was buying this house for you, I would want to like it too after all it's going to be mine and I want to make sure my investment is a good one. She is buying the house for you right?

They should respond with well no we are buying it.

You then say something like, "What, I don't understand, if she isn't buying it and you love it why wouldn't you buy it. Let's pretend for a moment that your mother in law is looking for a new house and finds one that is just perfect . She loves everything about it, it's position, it's accommodation, the neighbourhood and she's buying it today. Then you two come along and say "YUCK" that is horrible, tell me would she buy it or not?

In other words reverse the position and dig deeper, and always remember when answering their so called objections to listen and don't be creative in your answers. Your response should always be based of their response. Fight fire with fire and turn the table on them.

Hope this helps?

Kind regards

Cecil - by CMC7007
Am I understanding correctly for those of you who suggest chalk it up and move on that you'd not take one last swing at this?

I'd at least want to clarify if the things she said loved she really loved about the house in order to understand what she means when she says she loves something about something in case we actually move on. On the other hand, could you bring her back with the Mother-in-law in tow with more "clarification"?

Much Aloha... :cool: - by rattus58
Here is the point that someone else made - if the mother in law is buying the house for the couple, then she has a right to not like the property - that's only fair if she is paying all the money herself, she needs to know that her investment will be a wise one. However, if she has no financial input, then quite frankly,she shouldn't have a voice at all.
Cecil, why should the mother have no voice at all in the matter?

Does that mean, in your opinion, that unless a person has no financial input in a proposed transaction, they "should" not be party to the decision process? - by Ace Coldiron
That's exactly what I mean.. If I am buying something which I really love and want and I am paying for it and the decision whether to part with my money is based on my emotion to have something, is purely my responsiblilty. If I wish to purchase a pink Porsche and have it covered in white lilies then that is my prerogative and I don't care if anyone else likes it or not - if I want it badly enough in the first place why should someone else be allowed to put me off - particularly if they have no financial input into the transaction.

Let me say in closing - I would not buy such a Porsche - just in case people get the wrong impression.. I merely use the illustration to make the point. - by CMC7007
So...obviously the people didn't like the house/deal that much did they?

Otherwise nobody could have talked them out if it. - by helisell
Good point you make - but if you refer back to the initial subject which was posted and read it - then you should have noticed that the couple loved it and had agreed on the deal. It was only when the third party was introduced things changed. That is my interpretation of the situation or is my understanding of the english language different from yours? - by CMC7007
That's exactly what I mean.. If I am buying something which I really love and want and I am paying for it and the decision whether to part with my money is based on my emotion to have something, is purely my responsiblilty. If I wish to purchase a pink Porsche and have it covered in white lilies then that is my prerogative and I don't care if anyone else likes it or not - if I want it badly enough in the first place why should someone else be allowed to put me off - particularly if they have no financial input into the transaction.

Let me say in closing - I would not buy such a Porsche - just in case people get the wrong impression.. I merely use the illustration to make the point.
Pink Porsches and white lillies aside, let's go back to the property scenario. If the mother had knowledge or suspicion of a structural deficiency or some information relating to serious problems in the neighborhood or the credibility of the seller, is it still Katie bar the door towards her input?

Assuming the mother is trusted, respected, and liked by her son/daughter, of course.

One other question: In your opinion and based on your 30 years experience, should the salesperson be allowed input, even if the mother isn't? In other words would the salesperson be allowed to make a recommendation? - by Ace Coldiron
That's exactly what I mean.. If I am buying something which I really love and want and I am paying for it and the decision whether to part with my money is based on my emotion to have something, is purely my responsiblilty. If I wish to purchase a pink Porsche and have it covered in white lilies then that is my prerogative and I don't care if anyone else likes it or not - if I want it badly enough in the first place why should someone else be allowed to put me off - particularly if they have no financial input into the transaction.
With respect, it's not about you Cecil ... ,

It's about people who for whatever of any number of reasons seek the counsel of a respected advisor before entering into a buying agreement that they may later regret. Outside the circle of an individual's family and personal contacts you also have 'in your face' consumer protection laws, rescission provisions & regulations designed to protect the unwary.

Decision influencers are a part of sales life and to expect prospects to disregard their sound advice simply because that's what you'd do is a bit of a stretch.

Having worked for more than 25 years in a decision on the day selling environment I well understand the frustration of having a 3rd party enter into the equation at the back end. Is it real, a stall or a pre-planned escape strategy? Whatever, ... the time left to overcome the 'objection' without haggling, and the available options by this time are very limited indeed.

In an earlier post I alluded to the need to factor the possibility of 3rd party involvement into the sales process by first making yourself aware of it's existence early in the relationship. It never ceases to amaze me that so many experienced salespeople fail to do that, and that failure highlights a weakness in the discovery process.

If the 3rd party's presence remains undiscovered until the sale is being closed then any resistance by that person will usually veto the sale. To revive it is at best difficult and I have often seen salespeople alienate prospects by expressing their own unqualified and unwanted opinion as to why they think the 3rd party should be disregarded.

So give yourself the time and increase your chances by finding out early! Then you go with the resistance and factor that person into the sales process 'in absentia', even to the extent of empathetically addressing any issues they (or you) feel he/she may have, together their own.

If its a fiction and/or they feel comfortable it won't arise again in the final analysis. If not and they still want to defer their decision, at least having addressed the perceived issues and been thoroughly sold, they're better equipped to convey the message to their advisor and who knows ... occasionally they do come back ... ?

BTW, my post on page 1 may provide additional food for thought.
Regards,
Tony - by Tony1905
Hi CMC7007

My interpretation of the English language goes something like this.

"They'd agreed the deal"

So I ask....was this deal "done"?

If the "deal" was "done" (which in my opinion it was not) then in my interpretation, it is "done" to the point where there is no buyers remorse and no possibility of minds being changed.

By this definition the deal was clearly not "done".

I see your background is automotive as is mine.

So ...I've agreed the deal with the husband/wife (who came in by him/herself) and they just have to 'clear it' with the other half.

Order form is signed, deposit paid and deal is "done".

Do we chalk this one on the board?...or do we wait a little?

The fact that the mother in law was not known about doesn't preclude outside involvement from rearing it's ugly head.
There are many ways of handling this scenario but.....trying to persuade the original parties to ignore the third party input seldom works.

Within the flow chart of 'sales process' the best result comes from going back to square one with the added benefit of already knowing the customer and, presumably, having formed a trusting relationship with them. - by helisell
the objection is the layout and the nieghbourhood. the mother in law hates both. are those the only objections if not ask, probe her further and summarise?? you need to know the reasons for the objections. maybe she has the wrong impression or information. without knowing this you will not be able to handle her objections whether genuine or pretence. - by temitope
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