Trust and Respect

The dictionaries show a lot of different meanings for Trust and Respect and those words show up a lot in the forum. Is everyone agreeing on what those words mean? What do trust and respect mean to you?

Straight out of the dictionary:

Trust - "firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing"

Respect - "a feeling of high regard, honor, or esteem"

Originally Posted by SpeedRacer Straight out of the dictionary: Trust - "firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing" Respect - "a feeling of high regard, honor, or esteem"

Thanks SR. I don't have anything else to go by except the dictionary so I have to agree.

Trust: My default setting is that I see the best in you, that is, you're innocent until proved guilty*. I can read you by your words and action and don't need references and testimonials. I take your word as your bond, and don't believe unsubstantiated hearsays about you.

* Basis of Rogerian therapy. Carl Rogers, a pioneer in Social Psychology (inventor of the highly respected and widely practised Rogerian therapy model) was asked about the most important aspect of human interaction when there is a strong difference of opinions. He said: "Unconditional positive regard for the other person. It's about holding the other person in a positive light and assuming that his/her interest is for the best interest of the discussion and the idea they are discussing regardless of what the person actually believes at that moment." Keep your mind flexible but make sure your default setting is that the person has your best interest at heart.

Respect: That we can be honest with each other as opposed to merely being polite. “Untidy truth is better than smooth lies.” ~ Colin Powell. Or... The price of clarity carries the risk of insult. But when there is mutual respect, we both know whatever we say it's not for insulting the other party. it's merely a statement is we add meanings to the words.

That was my two cents. Now back to some more Motörhead.

BD

The definition is that both have to be earned over and over and over.....

When I taught high school and middle school I told my students day one that I expected mutual trust and expect as the natural way people should treat each other and that included honesty. I told them that I looked at them that way and trusted and respected them unless some action broke the trust and respect.

Consequently, as other teachers attempted to control and rule the classroom with lists of rules and dictates and with a strong arm of disciplinary steps, I rarely had to apply any of that to get or regain order. Occasionally I did. Also, because I had such a natural command of myself in that arena in a totally spontaneous way I rarely got caught up in conflict.

So trust and respect were expected. When it wasn't given I let them know. When I fell short on a couple of occasions I let them know - balance was restored with trust and respect.

I work the same in sales. If you solicit me and I say NO I expect you trust I mean NO and respect it by not trying to get me to change my mind - and visa versa.

MitchM

This begs the question... How does a young sales professional at the start of their career command respect from older counterparts? My "fresh face" many times gets me little respect as soon as I walk into the door on a sales call. It seems I have to work a lot harder for trust and respect.

RSmith

An old salty dog worth his salt would trust and respect anyone regardless of age who came with honesty and respect, knew his or her material, and didn't try to be slick or clever - just straight talk about something that could be of benefit in a confident way.

MitchM

Originally Posted by ryans44 My "fresh face" many times gets me little respect as soon as I walk into the door on a sales call.

Ryan,

Just re-read Mitch's brilliant post. As a teacher he gave trust and respect to his students before asking for it. I did the same in the army. I gave trust and respect regardless of rank or position. And I always got it back.

Self-respecting people will trust and respect you by default regardless of your age.

And the opposite of self-respecting people, the obnoxious *******s can just take a running jump at the nearest freight train and by killing themselves, they're cleansing the world of commercial scum.

Originally Posted by ryans44 It seems I have to work a lot harder for trust and respect.

If you don't get it, just walk out. If they don't respect now, they won't respect you later either. Now some people may say that you didn't earn trust and respect. I think it's bull****. What you didn't earn is mistrust and disrespect. but if this is what you get from the getgo, you may be dealing with a slimeball.

Thoughts?

In my experience your comments couldn't be further from reality Bald Dog. It's not a secret that consumers, even self-respecting consumers, are often mistrusting of salespeople that doesn't make them slimeballs.