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Trust and Respect

The dictionaries show a lot of different meanings for Trust and Respect and those words show up a lot in the forum. Is everyone agreeing on what those words mean? What do trust and respect mean to you? - by Thomas
Straight out of the dictionary:

Trust - "firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing"

Respect - "a feeling of high regard, honor, or esteem" - by SpeedRacer
Straight out of the dictionary:

Trust - "firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing"

Respect - "a feeling of high regard, honor, or esteem"
Thanks SR. I don't have anything else to go by except the dictionary so I have to agree. thmbp2; - by Thomas
Trust: My default setting is that I see the best in you, that is, you're innocent until proved guilty*. I can read you by your words and action and don't need references and testimonials. I take your word as your bond, and don't believe unsubstantiated hearsays about you.

* Basis of Rogerian therapy. Carl Rogers, a pioneer in Social Psychology (inventor of the highly respected and widely practised Rogerian therapy model) was asked about the most important aspect of human interaction when there is a strong difference of opinions. He said: "Unconditional positive regard for the other person. It's about holding the other person in a positive light and assuming that his/her interest is for the best interest of the discussion and the idea they are discussing regardless of what the person actually believes at that moment." Keep your mind flexible but make sure your default setting is that the person has your best interest at heart.

Respect: That we can be honest with each other as opposed to merely being polite. “Untidy truth is better than smooth lies.” ~ Colin Powell. Or... The price of clarity carries the risk of insult. But when there is mutual respect, we both know whatever we say it's not for insulting the other party. it's merely a statement is we add meanings to the words.

That was my two cents. Now back to some more Motörhead.

BD - by Bald Dog
The definition is that both have to be earned over and over and over..... - by ryans44
When I taught high school and middle school I told my students day one that I expected mutual trust and expect as the natural way people should treat each other and that included honesty. I told them that I looked at them that way and trusted and respected them unless some action broke the trust and respect.

Consequently, as other teachers attempted to control and rule the classroom with lists of rules and dictates and with a strong arm of disciplinary steps, I rarely had to apply any of that to get or regain order. Occasionally I did. Also, because I had such a natural command of myself in that arena in a totally spontaneous way I rarely got caught up in conflict.

So trust and respect were expected. When it wasn't given I let them know. When I fell short on a couple of occasions I let them know - balance was restored with trust and respect.

I work the same in sales. If you solicit me and I say NO I expect you trust I mean NO and respect it by not trying to get me to change my mind - and visa versa.

MitchM - by MitchM
This begs the question... How does a young sales professional at the start of their career command respect from older counterparts? My "fresh face" many times gets me little respect as soon as I walk into the door on a sales call. It seems I have to work a lot harder for trust and respect.

RSmith - by ryans44
An old salty dog worth his salt would trust and respect anyone regardless of age who came with honesty and respect, knew his or her material, and didn't try to be slick or clever - just straight talk about something that could be of benefit in a confident way.

MitchM - by MitchM
My "fresh face" many times gets me little respect as soon as I walk into the door on a sales call.
Ryan,

Just re-read Mitch's brilliant post. As a teacher he gave trust and respect to his students before asking for it. I did the same in the army. I gave trust and respect regardless of rank or position. And I always got it back.

Self-respecting people will trust and respect you by default regardless of your age.

And the opposite of self-respecting people, the obnoxious *******s can just take a running jump at the nearest freight train and by killing themselves, they're cleansing the world of commercial scum.

It seems I have to work a lot harder for trust and respect.
If you don't get it, just walk out. If they don't respect now, they won't respect you later either. Now some people may say that you didn't earn trust and respect. I think it's bull****. What you didn't earn is mistrust and disrespect. but if this is what you get from the getgo, you may be dealing with a slimeball.

Thoughts? - by Bald Dog
In my experience your comments couldn't be further from reality Bald Dog. It's not a secret that consumers, even self-respecting consumers, are often mistrusting of salespeople that doesn't make them slimeballs. - by Houston
"Self-respecting people will trust and respect you by default regardless of your age." - Bald Dog

That's it!

"We're surrounded - that simplifies the problem." is attributed to one of the most trusted and respected marines Lewis B "Chesty" Puller: "I did the same in the army. I gave trust and respect regardless of rank or position. And I always got it back." -- Bald Man

I TRUST you and Chesty thought alike, Bald Man. Puller's biography is story of how one man committed to doing his job with integrity and treating his team with respect and dignity pays off.
------------------
Once teaching a collection of 9th grade inner city street wise students with low academic skills and high street wise skills and domestic dysfunctional survivall skills I found myself unable to keep their attention without lots of enegry exploding from their mouths and other body parts. I tried everything.

Ond of the problems was I had to keep them occupied for 90 minutes - knowing how to do that I broke up tasks into thirty minute segments. Step one. I also noticed many of the kids mostly black kids - the white kids didn't do this - got out lotion and lathered up their hands and legs especially the legs to keep the ash off - dry skin.

Also, it was a class before lunch and I knew they all didn't eat breakfast. SO I went to the store and got a huge pump bottle of lotion and a couple boxes of crackers.

Mid class one day I offered them a "lotion break" speaking in vernacular and making references these street savy kids might relate to - they were slow to lather up BUT within a couple of weeks most of them were taking squirts from the lotion as I passed through them AND taking a couple crackers. 99% of my problems were over with for good.

What all this has to do with trust and respect in the sales world people will have to figure out. Here's another quick one. Sit down with your legs under you and then fan out to the side a couple of inches your lower legs and feet. It should cause some pain the older you get. THEN try to lie back to touch you head on the floor behind you - you might not be able to do that AND your legs will begin to hurt especially upper thighs and knees.

OKAY, take your hands and itch the souls of your feet of some body part that feel good. As you do that the pleasure sensation will over take and replace the pain sensation. You will in ten or twenty seconds forget about the pain.

Figure out what you can learn from that too.

MitchM - by MitchM
Mitch,

Based on on the fact that you're a pretty trusting guy, how many people have tried to screw you over with some deals or something else?

It's happened to me only a very few times over the 46 years of my life, so I'm not even considering it.
Once with a room mate in England many years ago -> I seriously restructured his nose.

Once with a company that sold me a defective laptop and refused to get it fixed -> I Molotov cocktailed the building.

Once a woman rear-ended me and gave me false name and address to sneak out of the payment. I found her through the registration number, Molotov cocktailed the car and smashed her jawbone with a bicycle handlebar.

Once a client took me to court to recover his money on a project he didn't implement four years after the project was completed. I offered a conditional guarantee but the judge turned it into an unconditional money back guarantee, and I was dinged for $11,000. Sadly, this happened in Canada and here FJ (Fist Justice) is not allowed. So, I lost the $11K. Oh, well.
I trusted them and they abused it. Please note these were the very final measures. I tried to sort things out peacefully first. It didn't work.

But the point is that I may be overly trusting, but people don't take advantage of this attribute. And it gives me a much easier life than being sceptical and suspicious about others.

I believe being suspicious and sceptical would lose me lots of great opportunities.

Thoughts? - by Bald Dog
"I trusted them and they abused it. Please note these were the very final measures. I tried to sort things out peacefully first. It didn't work.

But the point is that I may be overly trusting, but people don't take advantage of this attribute. And it gives me a much easier life than being sceptical and suspicious about others.

I believe being suspicious and sceptical would lose me lots of great opportunities.

Thoughts?" -- Bald Dog

My experience is the same Bald Dog - I haven't looked at it like this before so some quick thoughts: the first is that some people will assume being trusting as a habit is NOT being discerning AND is being gullible which isn't necessarily true. Also, some would falsly believe being suspicious or skeptical equates with being discerning and smart about your decisions.

It's a fascinating study to look at assumptions and beliefs as connections and definitions colored by other perceptions and impressions.

And I agree that people rarely take advantage of this attitude - I believe it may have something to do with either respecting or keeping a distance from such a perceived attitude.

Quick thoughts there.

MitchM - by MitchM
MitchM would you please share what Trust and Respect means to you. I'm trying to see where you're coming from. - by SpeedRacer
SpeedRacer - just go back over my posts on this thread and one I started about selling more by disengaging and that will give you more than enough to go on.

MitchM - by MitchM
SpeedRacer - just go back over my posts on this thread and one I started about selling more by disengaging and that will give you more than enough to go on.

MitchM
I've read your posts in both threads MitchM and I don't see a clear representation of what Trust or Respect mean to you. The stories seem to jump around a bit. You mention Trust and Respect in a majority of your posts and considering that different people assign different meanings to words I think it would be helpful to have a clear understanding of where you're coming from in your posts when you use the words Trust and Respect. - by SpeedRacer
I've given as clear an understanding in terms and stories, metaphors and insights into how I think and act, as I can so far - to condense that into a couple of statements isn't something I want to do.

I'm not putting off your genuine question for the sake of not being clear myself - I just don't want to take multiple of posts and put them into a slimmer context. I trust you will respect that and you can be assured that my trust in you is implicit in the respect I'll give you for asking a good question.

MitchM - by MitchM
I've given as clear an understanding in terms and stories, metaphors and insights into how I think and act, as I can so far - to condense that into a couple of statements isn't something I want to do.
I can appreciate your decision. I hope you can appreciate the confusion and possibly tension that such ambiguity can have in these types of discussions especially when the terms come up over and over again in your posts. - by SpeedRacer
Perhaps I'm not being as clear as I can be, SpeedRacer. I also know that living with ambiguity has been a great asset for me in understanding some things as I appear to understand them. Ambiguity rules so much at least accounts for so much when we would rather have certainty in a definition or precise black and white description.

Also, what appears black and white to me may appear ambiguous to the next person.

If I can trust you then I can feel [and eventually know from experience] that you will keep your word, that you will not do underhanded things, and that you will be an honest person who puts everything on the table for examination and expects the same in return.

Because of all that I can give you a good measure of respect. I can also respect your position on some things even if I don't agree.

Of course situations vary and so do definitions - again, ambiguity to live with in the real world. What about you SpeedRacer - how do you define trust and respect with ambiguity?

MitchM - by MitchM
Of course situations vary and so do definitions - again, ambiguity to live with in the real world. What about you SpeedRacer - how do you define trust and respect with ambiguity?

MitchM
The definitions I posted in post #2 work for me. These are straight out of a dictionary. I do appreciate that some people's definitions will differ however the whole point of establishing common meanings is so that we can understand one another. - by SpeedRacer
Obviously dictionary definitions have a use and a value - having taught school many years I know that well. You also come to know the limits of simple definitions in making much sense out of human activity and behavior - add figures-of-speech along with denotative and connotative meanings along with vernaculars - you get lots of variations of a theme. It's a fascinating study.

One of the reasons I like: do you want it or not? with accepting YES or NO is that is a very precise definition. After that the YES has to do with more precision in conditions of satisfaction and the details. Reducing ambiguity to clear expectations is important.

I understand what you mean, SpeedRacer.

MitchM - by MitchM
The definitions I posted in post #2 work for me. These are straight out of a dictionary. I do appreciate that some people's definitions will differ however the whole point of establishing common meanings is so that we can understand one another.
I agree, SpeedRacer. When in doubt, consult a dictionary. It's very difficult to communicate when someone uses "their own" definitions rather than common usage definitions. - by Skip Anderson
One of the reasons I like: do you want it or not? with accepting YES or NO is that is a very precise definition. After that the YES has to do with more precision in conditions of satisfaction and the details. Reducing ambiguity to clear expectations is important.
MitchM
"Do you want it or not" is a fine closing question.

But before closing a sale, and earlier in the process, there's a need for dialogue (or conversation) with our prospects, and that question isn't very good at encouraging dialogue. Open-ended questions encourage conversation.

Skip Anderson - by Skip Anderson
People come to have their own answers - you can find definitions in different dictionaries to say different things - hey fellows, just make sure the people you know have the same dictionary - you know, everyone needs to read King James or meanings will be lost in various translations. Wow! How is that accomplished anyway?

"But before closing a sale, and earlier in the process, there's a need for dialogue (or conversation) with our prospects, and that question isn't very good at encouraging dialogue. Open-ended questions encourage conversation." - Skip

You might be a master at disparagement, Skip, were you more accurate in reporting that which you wish to disparage. Sadly, all you do is continue to cut & past such limited parts of my posts from larger contexts - what the one schooled in propaganda does - that your disparaging comments mean little. I can respect real discussion and argument but not those attempts.

EVERYTHING of substance I've posted alludes to serious conversation and engagement in the closing process - not simply open ended conversations. Of course I believe if I ask you if you want something and you say NO I take a hike - for now. AND you appear not to agree with that. BUT with the YES comes the discussion, the answers and questions, the commitments - everything you leave out of your cut & pastes, Skip.

Do you cut & past live sales conversations to give back answers you want to give regardless of what the prospective buyer is saying? You sure do that here, Skip?

MitchM - by MitchM
But before closing a sale, and earlier in the process, there's a need for dialogue (or conversation) with our prospects, and that question isn't very good at encouraging dialogue.
It's just an overt question even before we meet for an appointment. Are you ready to buy when you find the right solution or are you just scanning the horizon and compare things?

I can meet a serious buyer on the phone, but someone who's just checking things out is still not ready for the appointment.

In traditional sales most questions are for pushing prospects into a dark corner where the salesperson can pounce on them with a truckload of closing techniques.

Questions are only worth asking if we're willing to live with the answer. But most salespeople are not. Hence: Overcoming objections. So, the answers are useless. The agenda is set: Take as much of the prospect's money as humanly possible whatever it takes. Salespeople could just show up and demand money at gunpoint. It's the same thing.

But I may see it the wrong way. - by Bald Dog
Questions are only worth asking if we're willing to live with the answer. But most salespeople are not. Hence: Overcoming objections. So, the answers are useless. The agenda is set: Take as much of the prospect's money as humanly possible whatever it takes. Salespeople could just show up and demand money at gunpoint. It's the same thing.

But I may see it the wrong way.
Do you believe that consumers think most salespeople have an agenda like that or other self-serving agenda? - by Calvin
Do you believe that consumers think most salespeople have an agenda like that or other self-serving agenda?
Coming from engineering I believe in empirical data...

First, see the do not call list. I wouldn't even waste my time on telephone prospecting. But I'm biased. I hate the phone and don't even own one.

Next...

In the mid-90s, researchers asked almost 3,000 decision makers “What is the highest degree to which you trust any of the salespeople you bought from in the previous 24 months?” Only 4% “completely” trusted the salespeople. 9% “substantially or generally” trusted the salesperson. Another 26% “somewhat or slightly” trusted the salesperson. 61% said they trusted the salesperson “rarely or not at all.” And these are people who actually did business with those salespeople. What did the respondents think of the salespeople from whom they decided not to buy?

According to Yankelovich Partners’ Research...

60% of consumers have more negative opinions about marketing than a few years ago
61% of consumers feel that marketing has gone overboard and out of control
65% of consumers feel they are over-bombarded with marketing messages
61% of consumers say spam has changed their opinions about marketing for the worse
36% of consumers enjoy shopping less than years before due to high-pressure selling
53% of consumers say marketing doesn’t help them to become smarter shoppers
59% of consumers say marketing they receive is not relevant to them
64% of consumers question marketer’s real motives
61% of consumers feel marketers treat them disrespectfully
65% of consumers believe marketing should be more tightly regulated
69% of consumers are looking for solutions to block marketing messages out of their lives
33% of consumers say they are willing to endure lower standard of living in a marketing-free society

I know that statistics can be jaded, but they are still better than guesswork. I think it's vital that we pull our heads out of our a.r.s.e.s and look at how the market has changed over the years, and how more sophisticated buyers have become.

Thoughts? - by Bald Dog
Coming from engineering I believe in empirical data...

First, see the do not call list. I wouldn't even waste my time on telephone prospecting. But I'm biased. I hate the phone and don't even own one.

Next...

In the mid-90s, researchers asked almost 3,000 decision makers “What is the highest degree to which you trust any of the salespeople you bought from in the previous 24 months?” Only 4% “completely” trusted the salespeople. 9% “substantially or generally” trusted the salesperson. Another 26% “somewhat or slightly” trusted the salesperson. 61% said they trusted the salesperson “rarely or not at all.” And these are people who actually did business with those salespeople. What did the respondents think of the salespeople from whom they decided not to buy?

According to Yankelovich Partners’ Research...

60% of consumers have more negative opinions about marketing than a few years ago
61% of consumers feel that marketing has gone overboard and out of control
65% of consumers feel they are over-bombarded with marketing messages
61% of consumers say spam has changed their opinions about marketing for the worse
36% of consumers enjoy shopping less than years before due to high-pressure selling
53% of consumers say marketing doesn’t help them to become smarter shoppers
59% of consumers say marketing they receive is not relevant to them
64% of consumers question marketer’s real motives
61% of consumers feel marketers treat them disrespectfully
65% of consumers believe marketing should be more tightly regulated
69% of consumers are looking for solutions to block marketing messages out of their lives
33% of consumers say they are willing to endure lower standard of living in a marketing-free society

I know that statistics can be jaded, but they are still better than guesswork. I think it's vital that we pull our heads out of our a.r.s.e.s and look at how the market has changed over the years, and how more sophisticated buyers have become.

Thoughts?
BaldDog, thanks for the post. I think the research you share is interesting, and not surprising.

However, I don't believe this thread was about marketing. It's about MitchM's assertion that you will sell more if you disengage (an assertion that I personally disagree with).

Skip - by Skip Anderson
In traditional sales most questions are for pushing prospects into a dark corner where the salesperson can pounce on them with a truckload of closing techniques.

Questions are only worth asking if we're willing to live with the answer. But most salespeople are not. Hence: Overcoming objections. So, the answers are useless. The agenda is set: Take as much of the prospect's money as humanly possible whatever it takes. Salespeople could just show up and demand money at gunpoint. It's the same thing.

But I may see it the wrong way.
Bald, I think your view of "traditional sales" is interesting, but disappointing for me to hear. I assume that by "traditional sales" you mean any selling methodology that is not about "selling only to those who are ready, willing, and able to buy", is that correct?

Why do you define traditional sales as "pushing prospects into a dark corner where the salesperson can pounce on them with a truckload of closing techniques?" Is that really what you believe I teach, or other sales trainers teach, or millions of successful veteran salespeople do every day?

Do you really believe that salespeople "Take as much of the prospect's money as humanly possible whatever it takes. Salespeople could just show up and demand money at gunpoint."???

That's an extraordinarily negatively-skewed view of selling (and inaccurate), in my opinion.

Skip Anderson - by Skip Anderson
People come to have their own answers - you can find definitions in different dictionaries to say different things - hey fellows, just make sure the people you know have the same dictionary - you know, everyone needs to read King James or meanings will be lost in various translations. Wow! How is that accomplished anyway?

"But before closing a sale, and earlier in the process, there's a need for dialogue (or conversation) with our prospects, and that question isn't very good at encouraging dialogue. Open-ended questions encourage conversation." - Skip

You might be a master at disparagement, Skip, were you more accurate in reporting that which you wish to disparage. Sadly, all you do is continue to cut & past such limited parts of my posts from larger contexts - what the one schooled in propaganda does - that your disparaging comments mean little. I can respect real discussion and argument but not those attempts.

EVERYTHING of substance I've posted alludes to serious conversation and engagement in the closing process - not simply open ended conversations. Of course I believe if I ask you if you want something and you say NO I take a hike - for now. AND you appear not to agree with that. BUT with the YES comes the discussion, the answers and questions, the commitments - everything you leave out of your cut & pastes, Skip.

Do you cut & past live sales conversations to give back answers you want to give regardless of what the prospective buyer is saying? You sure do that here, Skip?

MitchM
1. MitchM, you have a tendency to define words in unconventional ways. It happens occassionally in your posts, and eventually you say, "well my definition for such-and-such is _______." When you use your own definitions for words rather than accepted definitions for words, it makes it difficult to communicate, do you agree?

2. I might be a master at disparagement. I don't try to be, certainly. I've spent my entire life bringing out the best in people. I will say that I disagree with most of your posts. I think there is a large readership here at salespractice, and I don't want a young 25 year old just starting out in sales to think that he/she will sell more by disengaging because he/she read your posts. I don't think that's responsible.

3. I don't know why you're so offended that I pick out sections of your posts to comment on. You can feel free to use that technique to comment on my posts at any time - I will not be offended by it.

Skip Anderson - by Skip Anderson
I would hope young and old readership would follow each thread and read fully in context what each poster posts, considers what they say, examine their own biases, and come to their own conclusions. I've yet to find one person here absolute or even relatively definitive TRUTH on these matters, BUT I have come to a few conclusions and recognize those whose ideas match my own more closely than those that don't.

1. Engage passionately with what you do - what and how you sell - to begin with. How that appears from the outside will vary.

2.Prospect with the intent of getting someone something he or she needs, wants, and is willing to buy. Do that with engagement. BUT disengage from the out come - from the prospect's decision. That is, engage yourself with respecting either a YES or NO equally with no intervention if the reply is NO.

3. When the prospect says NO reply with: Okay, bye! and move on to the next prospect. Stay fully engaged in your prospecting without the burden of trying to change minds, help people identify things they have yet to identify, or meet objections or the word NO with further probing or questions in any attempt to sway or uncover something.

4. Moving on repeat the above fully engaged in the process of prospecting with the goal of identifying one prospect who says: I need that, I want that, I will buy that IF if meets my conditions of satisfaction.

5. Finding that prospect, begin an inquiry to establish trust, further the relationship, see if there is a mutually benificial and agreed upon reason to do business, and come to terms with both sides conditions of satisfaction. Be sure commitments are made every step of the way in this engaging conversation, negotiation, or mutual close.

6. If at any time the prospect breaks the commitment, indicates lack of honesty or trust, demands what you aren't willing to produce, or disrespects your position and what can be delivered - end the meeting and forget the sale. You get to the heart of these things by being attentive and asking specific questions - in other words, fully engaged in the conversation.

7. Engagement and disengagement mirror one another and have to be balanced, are not the same thing, kept in a state of readiness, and utilized effectively for significant success, progress, and respectfully mutual decisions to be made properly.

MitchM - by MitchM
There are many definitions of the word “respect.” Two that are important in sales are:
1. to regard another person as having value equal to other human beings.
2. to treat another person with the same consideration and high regard as other people that you esteem. - by JacquesWerth
An old salty dog worth his salt would trust and respect anyone regardless of age who came with honesty and respect, knew his or her material, and didn't try to be slick or clever - just straight talk about something that could be of benefit in a confident way.
Self-respecting people will trust and respect you by default regardless of your age.

And the opposite of self-respecting people, the obnoxious *******s can just take a running jump at the nearest freight train and by killing themselves, they're cleansing the world of commercial scum.

If you don't get it, just walk out. If they don't respect now, they won't respect you later either. Now some people may say that you didn't earn trust and respect. I think it's bull****. What you didn't earn is mistrust and disrespect. but if this is what you get from the getgo, you may be dealing with a slimeball.
In the mid-90s, researchers asked almost 3,000 decision makers “What is the highest degree to which you trust any of the salespeople you bought from in the previous 24 months?” Only 4% “completely” trusted the salespeople. 9% “substantially or generally” trusted the salesperson. Another 26% “somewhat or slightly” trusted the salesperson. 61% said they trusted the salesperson “rarely or not at all.” And these are people who actually did business with those salespeople. What did the respondents think of the salespeople from whom they decided not to buy?
MitchM, Bald Dog and anyone else who believes that prospective customers will trust and respect salespeople by default how do you maintain your belief in the light of this empirical data? - by SpeedRacer
There are many definitions of the word “respect.” Two that are important in sales are:
1. to regard another person as having value equal to other human beings.
2. to treat another person with the same consideration and high regard as other people that you esteem.
When you refer to "Trust and Respect" in your HPS training Jacques what are you referring to specifically? Do you have assigned meanings to those terms and if you do what are they? - by SpeedRacer
When you refer to "Trust and Respect" in your HPS training Jacques what are you referring to specifically? Do you have assigned meanings to those terms and if you do what are they?
The definitions that I posted above are the meanings that we assign to "Respect." I think meaning of "Trust" is evident.

The hardest thing for most salespeople to get their minds around semis to be:
The most effective relationship that you can have, whether in sales or otherwise, is one of Mutual Trust and Respect.

That is why we have been working for over fifteen years to perfect the Trust and Respect Inquiry (TRI) process. The TRI is now better than ninety percent effective. It can be completed in less than twenty minutes. - by JacquesWerth
The definitions that I posted above are the meanings that we assign to "Respect." I think meaning of "Trust" is evident.

The hardest thing for most salespeople to get their minds around semis to be:
The most effective relationship that you can have, whether in sales or otherwise, is one of Mutual Trust and Respect.

I wonder if the challenge you describe Jacques doesn't stem from miscommunication.

You provided two different meanings for the term "respect". The first was, "
to regard another person as having value equal to other human beings." This makes sense to me in the context of Seller and Buyer interaction.

The second was, "
to treat another person with the same consideration and high regard as other people that you esteem." This is not the same as the first definition and doesn't make sense in the context of Seller and Buyer interaction because it needs to be qualified. It's not probable that a Buyer will have the same high regard for salesman X, whom they know nothing about, as other people they might esteem such as an authority figure.

You also wrote that you thought the meaning of "Trust" was evident. Once again without qualification there is an enormous opportunity for miscommunication. Here are a few different definitions of "Trust" from different sources:
  • have confidence or faith in;
  • reliance: certainty based on past experience;
  • hope: expect and wish;
And to what degree of trust are we talking?
  • completely
  • substantially or generally
  • somewhat or slightly
  • rarely or not at all
What is evident to you may not be as evident to others. That is one of the challenges to clear communication.

- by SpeedRacer
MitchM, Bald Dog and anyone else who believes that prospective customers will trust and respect salespeople by default how do you maintain your belief in the light of this empirical data?
By not exhibiting behaviours that are typical of salespeople.

No presentations, no brochures, no rapport-building, no "how are you today", no enthusiasm overdrive, no leaning forward, no objection handling, no asking for the sale, and no closing.

No one-way presentations but collaborative diagnosis and solution development

No brochures but paper and calculator to quantify problem

No rapport-building but cutting to the chase

No "how are you today" but cutting to the chase

No enthusiasm overdrive but a level-headed objective approach. Enthusiasm makes you emotion-driven.

No leaning forward but sitting naturally.

No objection-handling but accepting come what may. But I have a very strong qualification process for the meeting.

No asking for the sale but having the final word on whether or not I accept the prospect as a new client.

No closing but letting the prospect close herself and I decide whether or not to accept her as a new client.

This is an odd approach but it works for me rather nicely. I'm being treated as a peer not as a salesperson.

Thoughts? - by Bald Dog
By not exhibiting behaviours that are typical of salespeople.
In one post you assert that prospective customers will trust and respect salespeople by default. In another posts you provide empirical data that shows 26% “somewhat or slightly” trusted the salesperson and 61% said they trusted the salesperson “rarely or not at all". Do you suggest that 87% of the salespeople involved in those sales diminished the trust defaulted by the Buyer through their own behaviours? - by SpeedRacer
By not exhibiting behaviours that are typical of salespeople.

"No presentations, no brochures, no rapport-building, no "how are you today", no enthusiasm overdrive, no leaning forward, no objection handling, no asking for the sale, and no closing." -- BD

Tried that - cost time & money & good sales. Today I use marketing tools very carefully w/mostly people already sold or looking seriously. ALSO, when I found the leaning-forward-mirroring-behavior-handling-objections-acting made me feel like a Saturday Night Live set or worse some daily SOAP replete with convoluted and manipulating-for-my-own-good-disguised-as-their good - I decided to quit all that! I changed the station - I deleted the station.

"No one-way presentations but collaborative diagnosis and solution development" - BD

That's it!

"No brochures but paper and calculator to quantify problem" -- BD

Essentially!

"No rapport-building but cutting to the chase" -- BD

Exactly!

"No "how are you today" but cutting to the chase" -- BD

Only quickly if at all but cutting to the chase quickly.

"No enthusiasm overdrive but a level-headed objective approach. Enthusiasm makes you emotion-driven." -- BD

I can be enthusiastic at times and overtly passionate BUT I mostly keep it in control - level headed is best.

"No leaning forward but sitting naturally." -- BD

Sometimes I slouch, when I lean forward it's not as a manipulation - it's a natural response to the situation, but usually I'm sitting naturally as I would anywhere. Nothing is more of joke than the salesman leaning forward, building rapport talking about family and hobbies, smiling at everything and using all the clever twists and turns memorized from sales trainings.

"No objection-handling but accepting come what may. But I have a very strong qualification process for the meeting." -- BD

Exactly! What is your qualification process for the meeting, BD?

"No asking for the sale but having the final word on whether or not I accept the prospect as a new client." -- BD

Agreed! Revelation came when we rejected both a sale and a sponsorship into business.

"No closing but letting the prospect close herself and I decide whether or not to accept her as a new client." -- BD

Same as above!

"This is an odd approach but it works for me rather nicely. I'm being treated as a peer not as a salesperson." -- BD

Equal footing equal respect and trust!

Thoughts?
- BD

You got them!

MitchM - by MitchM
MitchM, Bald Dog and anyone else who believes that prospective customers will trust and respect salespeople by default how do you maintain your belief in the light of this empirical data?
Good Point!
If neither the prospect nor the salesperson has done anything to engender trust and respect, then it is not likely to occur for either. - by JacquesWerth
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