How do you reach unreasonable people?

How do you get a message across to someone when they are being unreasonable and won't list. Yesterday I was in a small auto mishap and the guy was totally spun up and nothing I said was getting in. I've seen the same with my friends teenager children and I've seen it with people I cold call. What they all have in common is no information seems to be getting in. They are not being reasonable and listening with an open mind. How do you reach these people or do you?

Originally Posted by realtor How do you get a message across to someone when they are being unreasonable and won't list. Yesterday I was in a small auto mishap and the guy was totally spun up and nothing I said was getting in. I've seen the same with my friends teenager children and I've seen it with people I cold call. What they all have in common is no information seems to be getting in. They are not being reasonable and listening with an open mind. How do you reach these people or do you?

I don't understand your situation.

Who is the "someone"? What is they're doing that's unreasonable? What does the auto mishap have to do with it? What information are you providing that's not getting in? They are not listening to what with an open mind?

Please explain further. Thanks.

Originally Posted by Skip Anderson I don't understand your situation. Who is the "someone"? What is they're doing that's unreasonable? What does the auto mishap have to do with it? What information are you providing that's not getting in? They are not listening to what with an open mind? Please explain further. Thanks.

Auto mishap - me and another guy got out of our cars because he almost hit my car on purpose. I know because he told me that he was tired of people pulling in front of him. I tried to explain that I thought the road was a two-lane not a one-lane but this guy was spitting mad and wasn't listening to anything I said. He was in his own little world and it didn't matter what I said because he saw it his way and his way only. Does that help?

Realtor, "... it always seems darkest ..." when communications fail.

As the kids were learning to communicate, I would frequently lift my hands in front of them and flex both thumbs down into the respective palms. While still flexing, I would add the following question, "... do you know what two things separate humans from the entire animal kingdom?"

The answer: The opposable thumb and the ability to communicate. *

Throughout their formative years, this would become a signal between us that one or the other of these two phenomenal advantages was going to waste (it was seldom an issue related to their thumbs). It always brought the temperature down in the situation at-hand and was the signal to take emotion out of their communications at the time.

To your situation, Realtor, when I'm in a situation with a belligerent human being (I'm assuming that the other driver falls into this species), I begin by responding to the tirade with silence. While standing there, I present a posture which indicates that I'm having no difficulty hearing the message (eg. head nods, smiles, etc.). After a minute or two, I lift my hand in a non-threatening manner and ask the question, "... do you know what two things separate humans from the entire animal kingdom?".

The typical reaction is that I'm speaking Swahli but, invariably, it stops brings down the ambient temperature. Without intending to offend, provide the response promptly: "the opposable thumb and the ability to communicate" ... [minor pause before adding] ... "Look, we're both upset but we need to get through this situation, so, let's try a more reasoned approach ...".

* At our daughter's wedding, I rose to deliver the father's speech and I started with a preamble about questions I'd asked Nadia (our daughter) about the man she'd been seriously dating, "Nadia, do you guys argue? Do you get to input your feelings during the fray or is it one-sided? How do the arguements end?". The point I was making was the importance of communications in long term relationships. I told the guests, "... since they were kids, when the conversation would get strained ..." (I started to flex my thumbs)" ... at this point both Eric (our son) and Nadia raised their hands and began flexing their thumbs! Now, no one knew what was going on because Eric, Nadia, Louise (my wife) and I were just about in tears laughing ... I finished with the explanation.

Sometimes the situation at-hand takes control of our emotions and nothing rational comes immediately to mind. It takes a little cold water to get the neurons and dendrites firing properly ...

Good luck & Good selling!
Pat

Try this;


"Can you see that camera there?" And point ... "right over there in that van!" When they guy can't see it simply say; "Well, no surprise, they purposely make them hard to see!" Then smile your best smile and with a pleasant voice say; "You're on Candide Camera!"

That oughtta stop him acting like an *** !!!!!

Next time don't get out of the car. You can't ever be one of the best sales rep in the world if you end up in a hospital with a serious injury or dead. There is no profit in this kind of confrontation.

Yeah I shouldn't have got out of my car. That was stupid.

Thank you for the help and ideas.