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Distinctive Impressions Change The Subject

It's one thing to say people know the YES or NO of what they want today. That's a fact. Tomorrow it may not be a fact. How we arrive as finding the immediate YES from the immediate NO is debated on this forum.

BUT distinctive impressions change the subject requiring a YES or NO as well as the conversational close that follows a YES and sometimes a NO. OR they come ahead of any well or partially defined YES or NO. Sharon Drew Morgan addresses this in facilitating the decision making process.

Simply put, whatever anyone hears or sees is quickly defined by past impressions which change the subject - it's highly subjective and personal, uniquely evasive, and mostly unobserved by the decison maker.

While one approach to making a sale is to work into and through that decision making process, another is to get a simple YES or NO immediately then run with it, explore it and see if mutual conditions of satisfaction can be met. Those who know me know I favor the latter approach.

Regardless. the YES or NO is still colored by impressions not always known and often in contradiction to what one says he or she wants. That's why the trust and respect inquiry along with a discussion of mutual conditions of satisfaction are critical.

If you haven't lately examined your biases and those mental reflexes which produce fleeting impressions that color your decisions - what you see and hear and the conclusions you make - spend some time doing so. A simple exercise is to recognize the next conclusion you make or the next decision you contemplate, hold it for a few moments, and take a second look at why and how you think it came about and if it fits exactly what you think it fits.

Pay attention to people who appear to jump to conclusions and have immediate responses - a quality both praised and not praised but one that seems to give authority to the one who quickly makes decisons. We've all watched this happen at home when children and spouses emotinally spout out something immediate and direct with little connection or negative connection to the subject at hand.

We say people know what they want or we say we have to help them decide. We say people buy on emotions then justify with some kind of reasons. BUT what we miss are the impressions that are rarely uncovered and the biases that change the subject causing a NO when it's a NO to something other than what you propose.

Looking into our own internal mental and emotional movements can give us insight into the buying and selling process. Everyone reading this knows to some degree what I'm saying - at least impressions from the past give it color, texture, and definition.

Deleting impressions and consequent conclusions not required to be immediate allow clarity to focus our thoughts, emotions and the objects of our contemplation.

Understanding impressions that change the subject frequently is an important study not only for sales success but for a more well defined and fulfilling life.

MitchM - by MitchM
We say people know what they want or we say we have to help them decide. We say people buy on emotions then justify with some kind of reasons. BUT what we miss are the impressions that are rarely uncovered and the biases that change the subject causing a NO when it's a NO to something other than what you propose.
I don't know if it's true that people know what they want at least not consciously.:dun

How would you uncover the biases or could you, should you? :dun - by Thomas
We knew what we wanted, Thomas, so when a straight offer was made we said YES. Many people know exactly what they want or don't want immediately. Many people have a vague idea.

Also, by listening and asking questions people will reveal what they want or don't want today - at least to some degree. By listening more and asking more questions that can be clarified.

Most people are eager to unload a world of problems and concerns on you if they trust you and feel you are not going to try and get them to do anything - if you just listen and don't try to take them down a road of buy until they exhaust themselves. When that happens many will ask you to sell to them.

Thomas, every week complete strangers tell me their life stories because I've learned how to listen with complete disregard for making a sale - with total attention given to the other person with the intention of understanding what I hear and don't hear.

I'm not perfect in this - no one is - and every conversation like this doesn't end in a sale. BUT most of my business has been build this way and by asking people if they want what I have to offer just like that - direct and to the point.

Today I sat with a woman who a week ago made a commitment. In our conversation she uncovered things about herself I didn't know because she felt free to talk. In the end she didn't buy but next week we reconnect.

MitchM - by MitchM
I'm probably in my own little world but I seem to get a lot of people who are at the beginning of their home search and when I ask them what they want in a home their answer is they don't know. It's like they want to keep their options open and just want to see what I have available. :( - by Thomas
It's one thing to say people know the YES or NO of what they want today. That's a fact. Tomorrow it may not be a fact.
That is nonsensical. There is not fact there anywhere.

BUT distinctive impressions change the subject requiring a YES or NO as well as the conversational close that follows a YES and sometimes a NO. OR they come ahead of any well or partially defined YES or NO.
I've heard there are drugs that make one talk or write that way. Perhaps if I took those drugs I could understand what you're saying, but otherwise, it appears that this paragraph was generated by a random word generator.

Simply put, whatever anyone hears or sees is quickly defined by past impressions which change the subject - it's highly subjective and personal, uniquely evasive, and mostly unobserved by the decison maker.
"Simply put?" Are you nuts?

If you haven't lately examined your biases and those mental reflexes which produce fleeting impressions that color your decisions - what you see and hear and the conclusions you make - spend some time doing so. A simple exercise is to recognize the next conclusion you make or the next decision you contemplate, hold it for a few moments, and take a second look at why and how you think it came about and if it fits exactly what you think it fits.
Cat play weather fish believable drown white silly willow froth toot hang blast stink bloom hugs into lathery snail-like hoop bumped slurry. Billows of gloomy pilferage stem onto linked partner germs. Roasted frank lead purple grown filbert plastic quickly nice raised effervescent hoot knob.

Pay attention to people who appear to jump to conclusions and have immediate responses - a quality both praised and not praised but one that seems to give authority to the one who quickly makes decisons. We've all watched this happen at home when children and spouses emotinally spout out something immediate and direct with little connection or negative connection to the subject at hand.
I think you need help.

We say people know what they want or we say we have to help them decide. We say people buy on emotions then justify with some kind of reasons. BUT what we miss are the impressions that are rarely uncovered and the biases that change the subject causing a NO when it's a NO to something other than what you propose. Everyone reading this knows to some degree what I'm saying - at least impressions from the past give it color, texture, and definition. Deleting impressions and consequent conclusions not required to be immediate allow clarity to focus our thoughts, emotions and the objects of our contemplation.

Understanding impressions that change the subject frequently is an important study not only for sales success but for a more well defined and fulfilling life.

MitchM
I am going to go into my basement, find a large hammer, and hit my big toe on my left foot 17 times. This will be less painful than the pain I felt reading your post. - by Skip Anderson
Readers here, Skip will take your posts, mine, all of them into account and make their judgments also. We're all watching one another so to speak.

Today at a career expositon at a local community college I talked with people asking about my business. I haven't set up a table at one of these for a few years, the box lunch was excellent, and I had some enjoyable conversations.

When I described our business many said NO and some gave their reasons. Like my friend Dick who has sold insurance for over thirty years said - he was there too - "sales isn't for everyone and we want to weed them out fast." Neither are our products everyone I speak with will want - at least not today. Keeping the door open is everything important to future contacts!

BUT what was really interesting was how many times answers to my questions had little to do with my question and conclusions drawn and stated had little or nothing to do with what I had just described. Hence, impressions often unknown to us change the subject.

Most people don't pay attention enough to understand this but I do. I pay attention and that's one reason I am successful.

The more one understands decision making, Skip - Sharon Drew Morgan has some interesting insights and perspectives on facilitating decison making - the more one comes to appreciate the function of a prospecting call looking for an immediate YES or NO.

Likewise, one comes to appreciate the selling process that evolves following a YES which is deeply rooted in uncovering mutually agreed upon conditions of satisfaction with a trust and honesty relationship at it's core.

MitchM - by MitchM
I'm probably in my own little world but I seem to get a lot of people who are at the beginning of their home search and when I ask them what they want in a home their answer is they don't know. It's like they want to keep their options open and just want to see what I have available. :(
Thomas, you aren't in your own little world. Selling is more than a "yes and no" question up front as some would lead you to believe. The better one can engage those prospects, get information from them, and build one's relationship with them, the more that salesperson will sell. - by Skip Anderson
"Thomas, you aren't in your own little world. Selling is more than a "yes and no" question up front as some would lead you to believe. The better one can engage those prospects, get information from them, and build one's relationship with them, the more that salesperson will sell." Skip

"The more one understands decision making, Skip - Sharon Drew Morgan has some interesting insights and perspectives on facilitating decison making - the more one comes to appreciate the function of a prospecting call looking for an immediate YES or NO.

Likewise, one comes to appreciate the selling process that evolves following a YES which is deeply rooted in uncovering mutually agreed upon conditions of satisfaction with a trust and honesty relationship at it's core." --MitchM

To move ahead in a relationship of mutual agreement requires a YES, an affirmation. That is a first principle, Thomas. Also, people don't always have a complete picture of what they want BUT they do have some idea - a couple pieces of the picture. That's where you start.

From there you work with them - from that YES - to see if you can fill in the details of the picture. That's what my friends in real estate sales do - a couple I know well and speak with every week at our BNI meeting.

There are always enough people today who know what they want either wholly or in some aspect that you can begin a selling process on that YES Thomas.

Likewise, a NO today isn't forever as the cliche goes AND a NO may indicate not this but (as you ask for clarity) that.

Do you see what I'm getting at here, Thomas, which is my consistent theme: the depth of inquiry, the trust and respect, the detailing of mutual conditions of satisfaction always begin with an initial YES or NO of some kind.

My distinction is that while some here attempt to turn a NO into a YES I don't - I move on.

MitchM - by MitchM
Mitch, for the record, everybody I've ever sold in my entire career has given me a "yes." I'm a firm believer in "yes".

But I would never suggest to any salesperson to ask their prospect up front if they were going to buy, because if someone does that, they'll sell about 10% of the volume that a professional salesperson would who didn't do that. - by Skip Anderson
That's a different question - are you going to buy - than mine.

Look Skip, if you say to me you've got joint pain and I say I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you. Is that something you want? That question causes you to think about what you just said and answer YES or NO.

You might answer conditionally: maybe. I'll ask why maybe and see what you expect and if I can deliver. I also in that conversation do my best to know if you're trustworthy to keep a commitment, create and environment of respect and trust that's mutual, and see if our conditions of satisfaction can be agreed upon.

Likewise, say you're a small business owner, I prospect call you and ask if you want to look at another business opportunity that you might be able to work around your current business you say YES or NO.

Your YES might be languaged: Maybe I would. I need to know more about it. That's not a YES I WANT but it is a YES LET"S KEEP TALKING so I say a little more and then ask: is that something you want?

The YES is usually conditional - that's where the sales skills come in - after the YES that indicates we move ahead with the conversation.

Is that more clear than what I may have posted in the past and what do you say to it, Skip?

MitchM - by MitchM
Look Skip, if you say to me you've got joint pain and I say I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you. Is that something you want? That question causes you to think about what you just said and answer YES or NO.
There's absolutely no good sales reason (or any other reason) to ask "Is that something you want?" at that point in your relationship with your prospect. How on earth would the prospect know if that's "what they want?" At this pint, you don't know anything about them (except that they have pain), and they don't know anything about you (other than you have a product you're trying to sell)?

Why should your prospect care that you have "a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you?" They know that you don't understand or comprehend anything about their joint pain (except the personal biases about joint pain that you bring to the table). They just see you as a salesperson pushing some goods.

Salespeople in your situation would be well-served to ask some or all of the following questions:

- How long have you been having the pain?
- What have you tried to relieve the pain?
- When you say you have joint pain, what kind of pain is it?
- How has your pain impacted your life?
- What makes the pain worse?
- What makes it better?
- When is the pain most frustrating?
- Or other questions like this.

There is zero downside to asking prospects questions like these. And there is a huge upside to it:

- Prospects love questions, especially when they are about a need or desire (or pain) that they have (who doesn't like to be asked questions about them?).

- Asking questions illustrates to the prospect that the salesperson is respectful and concerned, and not just interested in making a sale.

- The only way a salesperson can know what solution to recommend (without guessing) to a prospect is through information from the prospect, and when a prospect comes to a salesperson and says "I have joint pain," the only way for the salesperson to get information from the prospect is to ask questions to get information.

When we go to a doctor, we want to be asked questions. The same applies when we go to see an attorney, a tax accountant, a clergyperson, a friend, a private detective, a mental health professional, a dentist, and . . . a salesperson.

After a salesperson has some detailed understanding of the prospects pain, and has presented a product that potentially meets the prospect's need/desire, THEN it's appropriate to ask "is that something you want." (or something similar). - by Skip Anderson
In some situations these questions:

- How long have you been having the pain?
- What have you tried to relieve the pain?
- When you say you have joint pain, what kind of pain is it?
- How has your pain impacted your life?
- What makes the pain worse?
- What makes it better?
- When is the pain most frustrating?
- Or other questions like this.

come first, Skip. I've posted about this over and over - how a conversation started can lead to inquiry.

BUT "Look Skip, if you say to me you've got joint pain and I say I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you. Is that something you want? That question causes you to think about what you just said and answer YES or NO." -- MitchM

Over and over again I hear YES or NO or Maybe NOT to a sale but to a personal WANT TO or NOT have no or reduced pain.

Then:

How long have you been having the pain?
- What have you tried to relieve the pain?
- When you say you have joint pain, what kind of pain is it?
- How has your pain impacted your life?
- What makes the pain worse?
- What makes it better?
- When is the pain most frustrating?
- Or other questions like this.

I ask these questions if it's a YES or MAYBE. It's the order I do it in you do it in we disagree on sometimes.

The other day I met a gal who said she had migraines. I asked her a couple of question like the ones you posted - just a minute's worth or so - then said: my wife used to deal with migraines and she doesn't any more because of a product she uses and we sell. Are you looking for something else to try?

She said NO.

Everyone who sells is seen by some people as some salesman pushing some goods no matter what the process yours or mine. My days are spent in deeply personal conversations but most of them are after the YES fact of "I want that" whether those questions came first (not usually) or after the DO YOU WANT or ARE YOU LOOKING questions.

BUT you are right - many times I find out what the person is dealing with first then ask the do you want questions. I think we're mixing sales situations which is causing our debate, Skip.

One situation is a one minute offering - another situation is a longer conversation to see if there can be a need and want and willingness to act decision.

"When we go to a doctor, we want to be asked questions. The same applies when we go to see an attorney, a tax accountant, a clergyperson, a friend, a private detective, a mental health professional, a dentist, and . . . a salesperson.

After a salesperson has some detailed understanding of the prospects pain, and has presented a product that potentially meets the prospect's need/desire, THEN it's appropriate to ask "is that something you want." (or something similar)." Skip

I agree with all of that - NOW remember the person visiting any of the above has has already said - for the most part - YES to wanting something. The rest is identifying and defining conditions of satisfaction.

MitchM - by MitchM
It's the order I do it in you do it in we disagree on sometimes.

MitchM
The order is crucial. Little things matter (in selling, in golf, in tennis, in parenting, etc).

In selling, the strategy I outlined simply works better than the other strategy, so why not do it the way that yields better results?

Ready-Aim-Fire works much better than "Fire-Aim-Ready". - by Skip Anderson
I understand your analogy, Skip, but I always aim first - we just see what's called "aiming" differently.

Two types of situations:

1. prospecting call asking for an immediate YES or NO.

2. conversation (meeting someone at an exposition, a conference, an event of some kind, a BNI meeting whereas the questions you posed usually come first.

I distinguish these situations - so we may not disagree 100% of the time, Skip.

I work more in the first situation which I create as I ask the closed ended question - you think that's bad and not good advice. You also had this gripe with Jacques Werth and I don't.

BUT each one of has our own style - I don't imagine every sales trainer in your field of training is a clone.

Aside from all that - impressions changed the subject of this thread - see Skip, that's also the reality I posted you said was crazy to understand. Look at what this thread has become - AND I fell into the impressions - known now but unknown as they were happening - that changed the content of this thread.

We proved my point - one of my points anyway. Bang bang!

Goodnight, Skip - you've challenged my thinking and I hope I did the same for you.

MitchM - by MitchM
I'm probably in my own little world but I seem to get a lot of people who are at the beginning of their home search and when I ask them what they want in a home their answer is they don't know. It's like they want to keep their options open and just want to see what I have available. :(
Off Topic
Thomas, if I may instead of asking your clients what they want in a home, try asking more probing questions such as:
What do you love about your current home?
What do you love about your Community?
Are there any special needs that you are looking for in a new home?
What have you seen that you liked/disliked? Why didn't you buy?
Ect.

After you uncover their Hot buttons then you can structure your presentation/demonstration based off of their wants/needs, tie them down based of that and you should have better results.

O/P
I appologize if I stepped out of line by making the above sugestions to Thomas, my intentions were not meant to side track this topic.

~James - by Mr. Cesario
That too is a topic of contention from time to time here - I'm not one to care much if a topic strays and I usually enjoy the little side journies and digressions - thay make it lots of fun. BUT some people are rubbed the wrong way by that and find it distracting and unfun.

On the other hand, a few folks have labled much off topic because they've had power and control attitudes demanding this or that from fellow posters when the digression or side bar topic may have lent something to the originial topic.

So there's different perspectives - in or out of line is one of them based on personal subjectivity most of the time. One last situation I've seen is the person who repeatedly changes the topic back to his or her running point-of-view OR the person who accuses one of that when in fact the slight shift in perspective or change in point-of-view to the person doing the shifting fits in some how.

OR as the topic of this thread points out - often unknown impressions - thought connections in our lexicon of meanings - change the subject and that change isn't recognized - which makes my point again.

The best of the best to everyone.

MitchM - by MitchM
I understand your analogy, Skip, but I always aim first - we just see what's called "aiming" differently.

Two types of situations:

1. prospecting call asking for an immediate YES or NO.

2. conversation (meeting someone at an exposition, a conference, an event of some kind, a BNI meeting whereas the questions you posed usually come first.

I distinguish these situations - so we may not disagree 100% of the time, Skip.

I work more in the first situation which I create as I ask the closed ended question - you think that's bad and not good advice.
Mitch, here's the situation you described in your earlier post in this thread:

Look Skip, if you say to me you've got joint pain and I say I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you. Is that something you want? That question causes you to think about what you just said and answer YES or NO.
Mitch, that situation you describe is not a prospecting situation (or, a "type 1" interaction which you term a "prospecting call"). If a person is saying to you that they have joint pain, that person is your prospect. At that point, you are not prospecting, you are doing post-prospecting selling. And selling should virtually never start out with a closing question such as "is this what you want" if one cares about the results of the selling interaction.

So even if using your own selling theory as the basis for analysis of this selling interaction, asking this prospect this question:

"I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you, is that something you want?"

...is not the best way to handle this situation. But probing for understanding and information (or what you call "conversation") is. - by Skip Anderson
But I should ask that because I do and it brings us to the point:

"So even if using your own selling theory as the basis for analysis of this selling interaction, asking this prospect this question:

"I've got a product that has helped people with joint pain and it might help you, is that something you want?

...is not the best way to handle this situation. But probing for understanding and information (or what you call "conversation") is." -- Skip

I've been accused of confusing prospecting and selling - points of interaction and action - and I'm guilty of bluring those distinctions at time. I also understand there's a blurring in normal conversations and transitions aren't always mentally noted - the activity just goes on in a different context yet connected to the whole.

BUT I see your misunderstand now, Skip. What I post is not a theory - you think I post theory. I post what I do and teach and what works well in actual practice.

As I posted - the order sometimes is saometimes reversed as you pointed out and call a better way to prospect/sell - which it is sometimes - that's not theory either - it's good sense.

Impressions change, change the subject, subject and objective reflect each other from the inside out and visa versa - anyone else have an impression about all this?

MitchM - by MitchM
That's gobbledy-gook.

I pointed out to you, using your own theory and your own statements, why your handling of the customer didn't even fit your own theory. Now you want to debate if "theory" is the right word or not.

But, after all these posts back and forth, your opinion is "But I should ask that because I do" (your words).

So we've reached a dead-end. I simply can't help anybody improve their sales performance who takes that stance. - by Skip Anderson
I can't help you either, Skip - you miss too much.

I wish you continued success.

MitchM - by MitchM
"But, after all these posts back and forth, your opinion is "But I should ask that because I do" (your words).

So we've reached a dead-end. I simply can't help anybody improve their sales performance who takes that stance." -- Skip's Analysis

I ask what I ask and do what I do NOT because it follows some theory BUT because doing it has produced a successful business for myself and others - you miss that over and over again, Skip.

Those are my words out of a context.

NOR can I help you improve your sales performance because of the stance you take - we'll keep trying. I coach a lot of people and am in demand in our company by many other business builders. I wish you the same success and esteem.

MitchM - by MitchM
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