Home > Social Influence > Does "No" cause resistance?

Does "No" cause resistance?

Many books on selling cover the "Yes-Yes" mind set and-or avoiding a "No" reaction.

What do you think? Does "No" cause resistance? - by AZBroker
Many books on selling cover the "Yes-Yes" mind set and-or avoiding a "No" reaction.

What do you think? Does "No" cause resistance?
From which direction does NO come from and in which direction is resistance caused? - by MitchM
From which direction does NO come from and in which direction is resistance caused?
I understand your question, Mitch, as it occurred in my mind also. But I don't think it matters.

Lies cause resistance. Ultimately they precede failure.

If no is the truth, I not only want to hear it--I want to add it to my morning cereal.

My father used to tell me that "no" is the most powerful word in our language. Maybe--maybe not. I came to realize that it can redefine a relationship. I still think that's true. But I didn't benefit until I took it a step further by realizing that the word brings forth clarity in both short term and long term relationships.

It's no coincidence that among the men and women who I admire most and who have taught professional selling are those who value both "no", and uncovering honest answers. Among them are David Sandler, Jacques Werth, Jim Camp, and, I would also add Danielle Kennedy to that list. Another person who has had a profound influence on my life and my thinking is Brad Blanton, a psychologist. His book, Radical Honesty is not directly about sales. It is about telling the truth. If we value telling the truth, we must also value hearing the truth. Sometimes the truth of the moment is "no". - by Gary Boye
I understand your question, Mitch, as it occurred in my mind also. But I don't think it matters.

Lies cause resistance. Ultimately they preceed failure.

If no is the truth, I not only want to hear it--I want to add it to my morning cereal.

My father used to tell me that "no" is the most powerful word in our language. Maybe--maybe not. I came to realize that it can redefine a relationship. I still think that's true. But I didn't benefit until I took it a step further by realizing that the word brings forth clarity in both short term and long term relationships.

Its no coincidence that among the men and women who I admire most and who teach professional selling are those who value both "no", and uncovering honest answers. Among them are David Sandler, Jacques Werth, Jim Camp, and, I would also add Danielle Kennedy to that list. Another person who has had a profound influence on my life and my thinking is Brad Blanton, a psychologist. His book, Radical Honesty is not directly about sales.
I want to read "Radical Honesty" - when I realized once upon a time that I respected and liked to be around people who respected my NO the counterpart was to extend that same recognition of respect hearing a NO.

It eliminated a lot of internal stress and gave me freedom to move on.

When the salesman then asks me, "Why not?" or "What's missing that I can help you with to show you the value . . ." it's an immediate turn off.

NO causes respect when you understant its value. Because of that it may also produce a sale in the future which would have been otherwise lost.

[Hotlinked images and Copyrighted material removed] - by MitchM
Many books on selling cover the "Yes-Yes" mind set and-or avoiding a "No" reaction.

What do you think? Does "No" cause resistance?
I can't speak for the authors of those books but these two quotes from Kevin Hogan's book, "The Science of Influence" sum up quickly what I believe the reasons to be.
"Once people have taken a public stand on an issue it is increasingly more difficult to get them to change their minds."
"..if people pass up on an opportunity once, they will almost certainly pass up on that same opportunity in the future. Their behavior sets the precedent."
- by SalesGuy
I can't speak for the authors of those books but these two quotes from Kevin Hogan's book, "The Science of Influence" sum up quickly what I believe the reasons to be.
I also believe that what Hogan says in the first quote is true. That's why trust and respect and dialogue are critical to the sales process. All of us have relationships where we can say to one another what we would not say publically. When we strive for uncovering mutual trust and respect with our prospects, we can often eliminate the posturing that would be present in less intimate environments. That is an integral part of successful selling.

The second quote I would have to think about before I determined if it was something I wanted to accept as true. - by Gary Boye
I also believe that what Hogan says in the first quote is true. That's why trust and respect and dialogue are critical to the sales process. All of us have relationships where we can say to one another what we would not say publically. When we strive for uncovering mutual trust and respect with our prospects, we can often eliminate the posturing that would be present in less intimate environments. That is an integral part of successful selling.

The second quote I would have to think about before I determined if it was something I wanted to accept as true.
From my own decision making, the second quote is sometimes true - often true for long periods of time - yet sometimes not true as my circumstances change and so does my thinking, my wants and needs.

If there's trust and respect and the person offering me something offers it in a nonintrusive way and over time - I may want to take up the offer.

I've also found that people have contacted me - asking for something I once offered and they declined to accept - when their circumstances changed. Because I didn't close the door or try and resist the NO - a sale happened. - by MitchM
From my own decision making, the second quote is sometimes true - often true for long periods of time - yet sometimes not true as my circumstances change and so does my thinking, my wants and needs.

I've also found that people have contacted me - asking for something I once offered and they declined to accept - when their circumstances changed. Because I didn't close the door or try and resist the NO - a sale happened.
When circumstances change the opportunity can be seen in a new light and a new decision can be reached. If that new decision is "no" then we're back to the same probability, "..if people pass up on an opportunity once, they will almost certainly pass up on that same opportunity in the future. Their behavior sets the precedent." - by SalesGuy
When circumstances change the opportunity can be seen in a new light and a new decision can be reached. If that new decision is "no" then we're back to the same probability, "..if people pass up on an opportunity once, they will almost certainly pass up on that same opportunity in the future. Their behavior sets the precedent."
Since life is fluid and changing though fixed in principles and ways of thinking, standing in that flow fixed one's self with a reoccuring opportunity for someone increases the potential of fulfilling a need at another time.

It's always best to continue to seek immediate want seekers BUT keeping the door open and standing fixed in that flow is important.

I can count on the dynamics of life over time to produce wants out of don't wants - sometimes months or years pass until NO becomes NOW - or never. - by MitchM
Since life is fluid and changing though fixed in principles and ways of thinking, standing in that flow fixed one's self with a reoccuring opportunity for someone increases the potential of fulfilling a need at another time.

It's always best to continue to seek immediate want seekers BUT keeping the door open and standing fixed in that flow is important.

I can count on the dynamics of life over time to produce wants out of don't wants - sometimes months or years pass until NO becomes NOW - or never.
It's true, you can wait for the customers situation to change to the point when your opportunity becomes a want. It might be a long wait however. Instead, I would gently suggest that you consider modifying how you frame your opportunity. ;) - by SalesGuy
It's true, you can wait for the customers situation to change to the point when your opportunity becomes a want. It might be a long wait however. Instead, I would gently suggest that you consider modifying how you frame your opportunity. ;)
That get's my attention, SalesGuy. Tell me more about framing the opportunity as it fits the theme of this thread. - by MitchM
It's true, you can wait for the customers situation to change to the point when your opportunity becomes a want. It might be a long wait however. Instead, I would gently suggest that you consider modifying how you frame your opportunity. ;)
That get's my attention, SalesGuy. Tell me about framing the opportunity as it relates to the theme of this thread. - by MitchM
That get's my attention, SalesGuy. Tell me about framing the opportunity as it relates to the theme of this thread.
For instance, you telemarket business owners with a specific offer. Business owner "A" effectively says "NO." So a period of time passes and you call back with the same specific offer and receive the same "No" response. (ad infinitum) Now you have human psychology working against you. Not an enviable position.

Or... since you've already received a "NO" to your original offer when you make your next call you change or restructure your offer "perceptually" or otherwise.

Kevin Hogan points out in his book and I agree that "People do not necessarily decide what is best for them; they decide what presentation of facts is more attractive." - by SalesGuy
For instance, you telemarket business owners with a specific offer. Business owner "A" effectively says "NO." So a period of time passes and you call back with the same specific offer and receive the same "No" response. (ad infinitum) Now you have human psychology working against you. Not an enviable position.

Or... since you've already received a "NO" to your original offer when you make your next call you change or restructure your offer "perceptually" or otherwise.

Kevin Hogan points out in his book and I agree that "People do not necessarily decide what is best for them; they decide what presentation of facts is more attractive."
I understand what you mean now - wording the offer differently when you call back. I thought you meant the original offer - I got it now.

That makes sense, SalesGuy. - by MitchM
For instance, you telemarket business owners with a specific offer. Business owner "A" effectively says "NO." So a period of time passes and you call back with the same specific offer and receive the same "No" response. (ad infinitum) Now you have human psychology working against you. Not an enviable position.

Or... since you've already received a "NO" to your original offer when you make your next call you change or restructure your offer "perceptually" or otherwise.

Kevin Hogan points out in his book and I agree that "People do not necessarily decide what is best for them; they decide what presentation of facts is more attractive."
I agree with all of that. - by Gary Boye
Thanks everyone for the great input. :) - by AZBroker
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