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Tips to Overcome Fear

How do I overcome fear of meeting people ( strangers as well as bigshots). and asking people to take out a life insurance policy.
Please share your technique with me. I really am not scared of rejection or failure but I just feel uncomfartable with them to ask to ask for life insurance business. Since I am avoiding people to approach them and speaking about life insurance at there office, home, parties, etc. - by dennis27
What I used to do and sometimes still do is take the pressure of having to make a sale off the call. I tell myself that the reason for the call isn't to make a sale today but to first meet these people and see if I can make a connection. - by Thomas
I recommend you read the classic "How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling" by Frank Bettger which while having fires been published in 1947 is still a classic in all the basics of selling.

Bettger sold insurance.

The best of the best to you in your quest.

MitchM - by MitchM
What are you afraid of? - by Jim Klein
We are all human beings,They are no better than you and you are no better than them. You are just doing your job while they are doing their job. Their job is not anymore important than your job. Actually ,if you think about it , your job is more important than their job.thmbp2;









"sometimes we are limited more by attitude than by opportunities" - by rlggray
How do I overcome fear of meeting people ( strangers as well as bigshots). and asking people to take out a life insurance policy.
Please share your technique with me. I really am not scared of rejection or failure but I just feel uncomfartable with them to ask to ask for life insurance business. Since I am avoiding people to approach them and speaking about life insurance at there office, home, parties, etc.
So what exactly are you fearful of, success or failure? You say you are 'not scared of rejection or failure' yet need to 'overcome fear of meeting people'.....therefore you are afraid of success. Success in sales 'requires' talking with people you don't know, yet.

So therefore, you need to find a sales trainer who you can be comfortable with the techniques they utilize. I train a "no pressure prospecting approach" which focuses on the problems you solve for people, so you don't sound like you are trying to 'sell anyone anything'.

It is a different approach; makes it more comfortable to approach people who you don't know, if that is a problem you have. - by Paulette Halpern
I am not afraid because I just look at the stats. even if i don't well I am guaranteed that a certain number of people will say yes - by JulieR
We are all human beings,They are no better than you and you are no better than them. You are just doing your job while they are doing their job. Their job is not anymore important than your job. Actually ,if you think about it , your job is more important than their job.thmbp2;
Exactly. I learned this lesson years ago when I saw school mates clawing to the top of corporations. They were never the best, the smartest, the most creative, or the most imaginative ... they just knew how to play the corporate games.

Actually the job as a salesperson is more important ... I've seen small companies fail because of loss of a top salesperson but never through loss of a senior manager. Without sales, no amount of management can save a company. Conversely I've seen companies that are management disasters but they still manage to keep going. - by TonyB
I tell my clients and believe it totally, that if 'sales people' aren't effective our economy will come to a standstill. Products and services need to be bought in conjunction with the exchange of money....for the economy to grow, even if slowly. - by Paulette Halpern
To start with, the fear you described doesnot need a technique or a skill, to be solved.
Your fear from meeting people to talk about their financial protection is an issue of belief in what you are preaching. It has to do with your belief in what you are offering. How would you feel if a disability visited your prospect before you?
I believe this is what you must fear not warning them. - by Kamal
To start with, the fear you described doesnot need a technique or a skill, to be solved.
Your fear from meeting people to talk about their financial protection is an issue of belief in what you are preaching. It has to do with your belief in what you are offering. How would you feel if a disability visited your prospect before you?
I believe this is what you must fear not warning them.
Fear is a issue dealt with very well by Susan Jeffers, in her book, "Feel the Fear, and Do it Anyway".

Fear is a conceptual issue that differs for everyone; how they overcome it, is also going to differ from person to person.

Feel the fear, face the fear, learn how to 'deal with the fear', and do the thing you fear most, to work to overcome it. - by Paulette Halpern
You say you are 'not scared of rejection or failure' yet need to 'overcome fear of meeting people'.....therefore you are afraid of success.
Interesting topic. I'm trying to make that statement work in my mind. Not there yet. Not sure that it's a logical conclusion based on what Dennis has posted. It is true, obviously, that you have to meet and talk with strangers to be successful in sales. - by Ace Coldiron
Dennis - as far as fear of big shots which usually means people we fear because of how we view their status much higher than ours as in poor or middle class vs rich or wealthy class - anyway, for a quick definition use that. If you click on my blog you can link to a gal who markets a product that helps people over come the fear of dealing with affluent people - say big shots in this sense - by learning about them and where to fine them and how to sell to them.

I met Susan a year or so ago, began reading her posts, and from that saw she was onto something because of her experiences which she'll describe when you check her out.

Keep at it and over come fear.

MitchM - by MitchM
I had a gret VP who once told me that Sales is acting. You are playing a part. That really stuck with me and helped me overcome my fear.
Also, if you approach the sales like you have nothing to lose...the fear will evaporate.
That is what works for me - by b2brep
I had a gret VP who once told me that Sales is acting. You are playing a part. That really stuck with me and helped me overcome my fear.
Also, if you approach the sales like you have nothing to lose...the fear will evaporate.
That is what works for me
That's an interesting thought. It works in my mind for a couple of reasons. First, there is a difference between acting and pretending--the latter would not be as honest. Second, I have heard sales referred to as a performing art, and I can't disagree. - by Ace Coldiron
There are a number of good techniques you can use for this. Have you some across NLP? I teach some techniques that help with confidence, a really good one is 'circle of excellence' If you search on youtube you may see it being taught. It is extremely effective. - by steve(notts)
Hi Dennis

I ammsure you have the answer now to this. To echo one of the comments above what are you afraid of.

Most sales people who are really honet will admit they get scared sometimes.

Reflecting back though. Is this the areas you really want to "sell" in? - by SalesManagersCoach
Let me guess. Your afraid of them telling you no? It's perfectly natural for people to be afraid of rejection. But think of this, the first word most of us learn is NO!, by the time your 18, you have been told over a million times. Now I have been in sales for about 5 years, and I have yet ran into a no or rejection that has physical hurt me or killed me. You are concentrating to much on making the sale. Here is an intresting turn of things that worked well for me when starting out. Instead of me setting goals on how many sales I would get for a month, I would set goals on how many people would tell me NO. This was d2d b2b sales. I followed the sales process to the T and didn't short cut anything. I found that the more no's I got, the more sales I made. Since you are new to sales, concentrate on the basics. The sales process and the law of average. Law of average states simply that the more people see your product, the more people will buy. Great way to overcome the fear of being rejected, and you will fine that once you get over that fear than you will learn how to overturn these rejections and make them sales.

Now if for some reason you run into a "NO" that does kill you or seriously hurt you, please let us know immediately! :P - by jrboyd
Sounds like you have a case of one of the 12 types of Sales Call Reluctance which is Social Self-Consciousness, being intimidated by an upscale prospect either wealth, education, social status, power or prestige. Believe it or not many sales veterans suffer from this type of Sales Call Reluctance. Intellectually people know that everyone "puts their pants on the same way" -- however, emotionally this advice doesn't help. People swing from being impressed by the "bigshots" to being intimidated, conflicted and awestruck.

First take responsibility for what you are experiencing. This isn't the most popular advice, but it's the start to overcome it.

Observe your behavior with service personnel and other people you may feel you are "superior" to in some way. Notice the value of everyone, even the homeless person on the street. Extend pleasantires to everyone you encounter. You may be amazed how friendly and humane people really are.

Also recommend you start going to events in your community where the "Bigshots" show up and start introducing yourself. Just introduce. No need to ask for an appointment. You'll notice that the majority of them are pretty cool people who often welcome a friendly encounter.

There is book entitled The Psychology of Sales Call Reluctance that has the complete solution to Social Self-Consciousness.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch.
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son! (or Woman!)thmbp2;

by Rudyard Kipling

I also agree with a previous post -- that you may not be connected to the value of your product/services. This is sage advice. Dig deep into connecting to your value and the value of your services.

See "strangers" as people you can serve. See the "bigshots" as needing insurance too! - by Connie Kadansky
My way of overcoming fear in this area of life is to just see it as one big challenge. I'm new to this area, but have overcome lots of other things by saying:
"Let's see what happens if I do this..." and then simply do it :)
That thought took me from unemployed to get 3 offers within 1 week to work as a freelance salesperson. -These freelance jobs are why I have joined the forum, because as others have said... Gaining knowledge is a very good thing :)

Take care,
*Louise - by cleocatra999
Now if for some reason you run into a "NO" that does kill you or seriously hurt you, please let us know immediately! :P
The 'fear of rejection' has unmistakable marks of a syndrome sales people suffer from. The disease isn't only felt by salespeople. It is everyone, from in any profession. When you get that NO, from someone it is often taken as a 'sign of failure' in our world, we are judged by our statistical successes. From school and grades to work and compensation, whether salaried or commission.

I haven't ever been told by a client they were bodily thrown out of someones office, nor had it happen to me. At worse they end the conversation quickly and hasten you out of their office or if on the telephone, they can always just 'hang up'.

Keeping self esteem intact is important. Adopt the belief that they 'rejected your product or service, since they did not see or feel they had enough need for it .... or had any problems that your product or service good solve that was hurting them in some way'.

Then debrief the call, to see if you might learn from the situation and handle anything different in the next similar situation. - by Paulette Halpern
How do I overcome fear of meeting people ( strangers as well as bigshots). and asking people to take out a life insurance policy.
Please share your technique with me. I really am not scared of rejection or failure but I just feel uncomfartable with them to ask to ask for life insurance business. Since I am avoiding people to approach them and speaking about life insurance at there office, home, parties, etc.
Hi Dennis

What works for me is believing I am doing the prospect a service. I have to believe in my product and, that what I am bringing to the table is going to improve his business. If you are confident in your product then you are more confident in bringing it up at offices, homes and parties; in fact you will be proud to bring it up!

Warmest Regards - by MPrince
Two months ago I published 10 ways you let fear get a hold of you. I continue this exploration with 9 Conditions of Fear. As a Life Coach, my intention is to demonstrate the conditions that make fear more favorable. In phase III of the Inspired Action Coaching process my coaches and I work with people to shift the conditions of life to support happiness and success.
Consider this idea, “Your environment dictates who you are!” Most people have allowed the conditions of their life to set themselves up. Rather than being deliberate, they are accidental. This list helps you to see 9 more negative conditions that can be turned into positive conditions with the proper discipline and structure.
Bottom Line: When fear gets a hold of you, life stops working effectively. Fear makes everything worse. Here are 9 more ways that fear grabs a hold of you and why you should do the opposite.
1. Lack of exercise. When you exercise, you fill your body full of happy chemicals. When you don’t, you run low on endorphins (one of the three happy chemicals). People who don’t exercise are more susceptible to fear.
2. Not connected to your vision. If you aren’t clear about your vision, you will be pulled into other people’s visions. This means you will be haunted with an “I’m not there yet” feeling which is really a fear that you aren’t living your true purpose or that your life is being wasted.
3. Being in an uninspired state. When you are not inspired, you are most likely present to the mundane in your life or worse, what isn’t working. Stay in either one of these states long enough and The Drunk Monkey will start to chant “You aren’t good enough! Your life is meaningless!” This, of course, is just fear.
4. Resisting being blocked. There will be times when you are blocked and not moving forward. These are natural times of rest and reconsideration. If you panic and resist this state you will be gripped by fear.
5. Not being conscious. If you are not aware of The Drunk Monkey (your mind) and all of it’s crazy imaginings, then you will naturally get pulled into your thoughts. All thoughts have some fear at its source. Not being conscious of your thoughts leads to being gripped by fear.
6. Being on autopilot. Closely related to not being conscious but with a twist. When you go on autopilot it is often a form of resignation, “Why bother?” You get it, right? That’s just fear of taking new action.
7. Enter into the realm of mind. When you listen to your mind, The Drunk Monkey, you are listening to a machine that uses fear as a tool for action. Your minds job is to recognize potential danger and avoid it. Listening to The Drunk Monkey is like watching the news. The news focuses your attention on what’s wrong to keep you a breast of what might be wrong in the world. Only problem is, most of it does not have any thing to do with you. Pay close attention to the mind and you will find the same thing.
8. Being the victim of my circumstances versus the creator of my experience. Not everything is under your control. You are not the ruler of the universe. But you are in charge of your reactions. If you allow The Drunk Monkey to control your reactions, then you will be afraid. When something unwanted happens, and it will, step back from the mind and see yourself as the creator of your experience, the controller of your response. This will bring peace.
9. Not listening to or reading my mentors. It’s amazing how positive your feelings can get by just reading a few words or listening to a mentor’s voice. - by MatthewFerry
Your (selling) actions will be congruous to your mindset.

Fearful mindset = fearful actions (including all those
involuntary actions that customers will see)

In order to change your behaviour you'll need to change your thinking (or your brain programming as I call it)

In the book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz it is
explained very clearly that we all act according to our self-image.

Maltz shows us that we can quite easily change that self image and therefore change our behavior.

Maltz was a plastic surgeon and he was surprised that even after he had changed a persons percieved fault they continued to act in exactly the same way they did before.

He investigated and found that we are all restricted to behaviour that fits our self image. Change that self image (fearful) and the behaiour will change too.

He gives lots of techniques that can be used to bring about this seeming miracle.......I can recommended Psycho-Cybernetics to anyone who wishes to change/improve their behaviour. - by helisell
How do I overcome fear of meeting people ( strangers as well as bigshots). and asking people to take out a life insurance policy.
Please share your technique with me. I really am not scared of rejection or failure but I just feel uncomfartable with them to ask to ask for life insurance business. Since I am avoiding people to approach them and speaking about life insurance at there office, home, parties, etc.
Dennis,

I I have found myself feeling that way more than once, the only thing I can tell (and I am not the expert here ;st ) is that everytime I do it, it gets a little easier. I know one lady in my business who everyday she gets up and puts 4 pennies in her left pocket and with every approach she moves a penny into her left pocket and doesn't go home until all the pennies are in her left pocket. Sometimes something tangible helps! ;co As for me, I work mostly on the phone, so if the fear sets in I force myself to make another call and remind myself that the worst they can do is tell me "no" and that gets me that much closer to my "yes". thmbp2; How many "no's" can you get today?msnwnk;

Good luck!
Lisa - by lisamom
Fear is a issue dealt with very well by Susan Jeffers, in her book, "Feel the Fear, and Do it Anyway".

Fear is a conceptual issue that differs for everyone; how they overcome it, is also going to differ from person to person.

Feel the fear, face the fear, learn how to 'deal with the fear', and do the thing you fear most, to work to overcome it.

Good book!! I have that though I haven't finished reading it. In fact I don't even know where the book is!! lol

Ultimately her whole message can be boiled down to the title

"feel the fear... and do it anyway" - by Andrea
Don't go through life troubled and anxious over something so fundamental and basic as the very purpose of your life and the very reason why you are here.

forget your fear.
- by MatthewFerry
How do I overcome fear of meeting people ( strangers as well as bigshots). and asking people to take out a life insurance policy.
Please share your technique with me. I really am not scared of rejection or failure but I just feel uncomfartable with them to ask to ask for life insurance business. Since I am avoiding people to approach them and speaking about life insurance at there office, home, parties, etc.
First know that your fear is personal to you and no one else. Second, ask yourself, "What happened in the past that duplicated this present feeling of fear and rejection and what consequences am I now trying to avoid? Third, what did my family say about sales people? Did they voice a positive or negative attitude? Or was there someone in the family who was in sales and ill spoken of?

Embarrassment is ultimately tethered to a single cause tied to your perception of your inner-self. This is why rejection, shame, guilt, and embarrassment, can occur anywhere, anytime and under any circumstance.

Re-enact an event of the past that was not connected to sales and that still produced this same type of fear. Your answer can be found in any of the above or any combination of reasons. Just look. There is a pattern to be found. Once you find this pattern, the cure is on the way. - by John Voris
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